Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Where are you and where are you going?
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Jean
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Location: Switzterland

Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

I like it in Europe. I didn't feel welcome by the spirits of the Land there. It ranged from tolerating in the uper peninsula to hostile in southern Michigan. The humans were really nice. It was really like some kind of Ghost attaches to the Land.
The feeling of being home when i arrived in iceland from Chicago was stunningly contrasting. They were happy to have me back and gave me every rights. It's probably all in m'y head

7Wannabe5
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Interesting. I’ve never felt rejected by the spirits of a land. Maybe because I am female, so universal mixer.

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Jean
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

Or maybe you never felt love from them, so you couldn't tell. Three weeks were enough to believe this reject was the normal.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

No, I am pretty much a neo-pantheistic. It is possible that Colorado rejected me, but it felt like I was doing the rejecting due to lack of water. Mountains actually don’t do much for me. I even prefer swamps. I also prefer a deciduous mix over mostly coniferous.

classical_Liberal
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by classical_Liberal »

Can you articulate and/or describe the feelings you have? both accepting and not?

chenda
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by chenda »

I hope things improve for you Jean. I sometimes feel the same about places, like I always feel at home in Switzerland, there is a sort of primeval purity in the Alps which draws me. I have this vague idea of living there for a few months next year in a mountain chalet (if you know anywhere cheap-ish ?)

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Jean
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

The most tangible negative manifestation is: a lot of nightmares, feeling of a very hostile presence, that want you to leave. That was weird in michigan which is objectively very similar to forest and swanp landscape were I feel at home. So it's not really linked to how the place looks. Isle royale is objectively a paradise for me, but I didn't felt that good on it. It was awesome, but i wasn't feeling at home the way I do in many parts of europe.
The positive, like in iceland, manifest itself by a huge confidence, that i can go anywhere, and that nothing will happen to me. Even if i'm wet, cold, and out of water. Or sometimes, It's almost like a groove asks you to stay around. When you make sleep paralysis like dream, the presence is soothing, and wants to be close to you.
In the US, I a posteriori linked it to how dirty the war against the native had been, but this isn't a feeling, just a rationalisation.

@chenda
Thanks, i really motivated me to this master with ideas of nuclear spaceship and antartica base, but my belief (delusion?) that it would happen in my career just vanished, and now i can only picture being homer simpson, which is much less motivating. For the chalet, it's a very vague demand and depands on your standard for confort, how much in the mountain, and cheapness.
Last edited by Jean on Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

chenda
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by chenda »

@jean - Anything cheap as possible with good wifi and hot running water would be fine. I am more positive about the future, things will return more or less to normal in due course. Crisis always seem bigger at the time, so don't give on you're Antarctic dreams.

sky
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by sky »

Jean wrote:
Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:44 am
I like it in Europe. I didn't feel welcome by the spirits of the Land there. It ranged from tolerating in the uper peninsula to hostile in southern Michigan. The humans were really nice. It was really like some kind of Ghost attaches to the Land.
That is because the Hollanders clear cut the native forest to create a cornfield prairie. The rivers muddied up, the fish died, the game disappeared and the natives moved north to where the forest still existed.

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Jean
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

I have honestly no idea if it's my subconcious talking to me, the trees making human repelant or attractant chemicals depending on the situation, proper ghosts, or me being crazy.

chenda
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by chenda »

@jean - Maybe all of the above ;) Though I find there is something special and mysterious about iron age hill forts, like you feel something from the spirits of people who used to live there.

sky
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by sky »

With the distances you were driving, I am not surprised that you were burned out with negative emotions. I have experienced the same. Try making decisions and choosing behavior that brings comfort and tranquility into your life, you may be pushing yourself too hard.

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Jean
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

As long as i don't try to work, I'm fine (spend most of the week end doing stuff outside, it was nice).
But as soon as i try to work, it gets terrible. It reminds me of my PhD time.
It's annoying to see how i resist to any kind of ambition.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

You are unhappy because you beat yourself up for not being ambitious, but the ambitious people are never happy.

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Jean
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Re: Smelly Swiss Dilettante

Post by Jean »

I'm not really unhappy, only when i try to work. As soon as i decide to do it later, i'm fine.
I was happy about the work as long as i knew where i hoped it to lead me.

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