First of all: She said yes!
Which means I will be getting married. We will probably have our wedding rings custom made by a local jewler that sells on Etsy. I'm still trying to understand why this costs almost an order of magnitude less than buying a 'standard' ring even though the rings seem to be made of the same material.
We are looking to avoid buying any "wedding" clothes, neither are we throwing a party and I'd even like to avoid visiting a restaurant. This might take some expecation management...
Anyone else had a really frugal wedding (even though you could afford a full blown traditional wedding)? How did your family react?
Edit after learning I was confusing the words wedding and marriage
Frugal wedding
Re: Frugal wedding
Congrats. When's the baby due?
Throw the wedding the way you want. It will inform your family that you are starting a family of your own and you will be conducting your affairs in a manner best suited for you and your spouse. It will establish the precedent as you move forward. Yank the band-aid so to speak.
Throw the wedding the way you want. It will inform your family that you are starting a family of your own and you will be conducting your affairs in a manner best suited for you and your spouse. It will establish the precedent as you move forward. Yank the band-aid so to speak.
Re: Frugal wedding
Congratulations!
...So if you're not going to have a party, what expenses do you really have for the wedding? The rings you mentioned, and then there is the legal paperwork, which is a fixed cost. Sounds like a pretty frugal wedding to me.
On managing expectations/family reactions, maybe it's possible to compromise by allowing your family to throw a small party? They foot the bill, you get to celebrate. I know some people who have had smaller parties for close friends and family hosted at a family members home, usually the parents. Plus it might be a good opportunity to receive gifts if your guests are so inclined.
...So if you're not going to have a party, what expenses do you really have for the wedding? The rings you mentioned, and then there is the legal paperwork, which is a fixed cost. Sounds like a pretty frugal wedding to me.
On managing expectations/family reactions, maybe it's possible to compromise by allowing your family to throw a small party? They foot the bill, you get to celebrate. I know some people who have had smaller parties for close friends and family hosted at a family members home, usually the parents. Plus it might be a good opportunity to receive gifts if your guests are so inclined.
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Re: Frugal wedding
Both my daughters skipped out on any sort of wedding festivities. So I fit the in family reaction category. When my oldest daughter did it I was a little taken aback (no one, including me, knew about it beforehand). My younger one, who disdains large social gatherings, at least warned me ahead of time that she was going to do the same thing her sister did. As the father of the bride in both cases, I avoided a lot of expense there, so I very quickly got over it.
Re: Frugal wedding
We had a very frugal wedding by Italian standards, but we did make some compromise to avoid upsetting the family.
Tradition and family are important to us (we are italians so it’s kinda obvious lol), and going all-in frugal as we may have wanted would have resulted in some tension.
Money isn’t everything so we did have some semblance of normality.
I guess our wedding costs and looks mirrored what our lifestyle is: looks like a little below middle class, costs a lot less.
We had 75 people (normal Italian wedding: 150 and up), we did it in a cool country restaurant, buffet style (about 1/4 of the cost of a regular wedding dinner) and we had no music/party/ancillary stuff.
Still cost us a small fortune (around $10k total), but well worth the family peace in my opinion.
Tradition and family are important to us (we are italians so it’s kinda obvious lol), and going all-in frugal as we may have wanted would have resulted in some tension.
Money isn’t everything so we did have some semblance of normality.
I guess our wedding costs and looks mirrored what our lifestyle is: looks like a little below middle class, costs a lot less.
We had 75 people (normal Italian wedding: 150 and up), we did it in a cool country restaurant, buffet style (about 1/4 of the cost of a regular wedding dinner) and we had no music/party/ancillary stuff.
Still cost us a small fortune (around $10k total), but well worth the family peace in my opinion.
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Re: Frugal wedding
$400.
Married at courthouse and had a party at a relatives house after. All expenses were beer/liqour. People brought food.
Married at courthouse and had a party at a relatives house after. All expenses were beer/liqour. People brought food.
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Re: Frugal wedding
I proposed on a mountain top, and while there, sketched out my preferred wedding. We went to a remote place on Washington coastline. We camped and the whole wedding party camped. The site was a large rock jutting out into the Pacific. We had our ceremony at sunset. Hike from camp to the rock was about 3 miles. Go down to the rock by daylight, hike back up in the dark. My friend got ordained and did the service. We bought titanium rings, with custom engraving, online, for about $50 each. I grilled big, ribeye steaks, served with salad and Belgian ale. Bonfire surrounded by tiki torches, good food, friends and family. Price was about $500, all in.
But, both my wife and I are introverts. We didn't want a big bridezillafest. We wanted to have fun, and do it our way. She comes from a religious tradition I don't share, so breaking the mold was important from the get go.
So by making our wedding a 3 hour+ drive, hike, camp, and hike back in the dark, we placed enough obstacles that we could invite everyone, but guests would have to REALLY want to be there to go. Nobody was there out of sense of obligation.
As you move forward with your plans for a frugal wedding, a few things to bring up. Women talk, and eventually, the wedding story comes up. When it does, you want your wife to have a great story. "Went to the justice of the peace" is not a great story. So if you go that route, more work and creativity is in order. If you are doing this right, you won't be doing this again, so make it something you can talk about in 40 years and still make people smile.
The typical American wedding is just ceremonial consumerism. Prepacked experience. You can do better.
But, both my wife and I are introverts. We didn't want a big bridezillafest. We wanted to have fun, and do it our way. She comes from a religious tradition I don't share, so breaking the mold was important from the get go.
So by making our wedding a 3 hour+ drive, hike, camp, and hike back in the dark, we placed enough obstacles that we could invite everyone, but guests would have to REALLY want to be there to go. Nobody was there out of sense of obligation.
As you move forward with your plans for a frugal wedding, a few things to bring up. Women talk, and eventually, the wedding story comes up. When it does, you want your wife to have a great story. "Went to the justice of the peace" is not a great story. So if you go that route, more work and creativity is in order. If you are doing this right, you won't be doing this again, so make it something you can talk about in 40 years and still make people smile.
The typical American wedding is just ceremonial consumerism. Prepacked experience. You can do better.