I hate birthdays

[jacob]

... and I've been trying to figure out why.

In general, I've removed/set-to-private my birthday from all social media. I don't open my email nor answer the phone on dread day. I don't tell people when it is---if anyone asks, the answer is "a few decades ago"---and people who know me well enough know better than to bring it up. Of course not everybody knows better ...

This attitude seems unusual if not entirely uncommon. I haven't figured out a common factor except perhaps introversion in general. However, introverts still seem to like some parties ... just not as big.

Mostly I think it's because birthdays represents forced interactions with other people for the sole reason that it's been 365 days since the last forced interaction for no reason either. Whether it's me or someone else, the annual ritual of calling/wishes/visiting/partying feels contrived and therefore awkward. This goes especially for those you otherwise never hear from until facebook reminds them and those you see often. Of course that doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for a good time. Which is exactly my point!

In particular, birthdays concentrate all the attention on one person. For example, I don't hate xmas nearly as much, but I hate birthdays in general although I play nice when it comes children since I know how meaningful it still is at that age.

[IlliniDave]

I play nice when it comes children since I know how meaningful it still is at that age.

For many people that never changes. I sort of ignore my own birthday except I call my mother (the real accomplishment was hers, not mine), but even as a stout introvert I don't mind the ritual too much.

[theanimal]

So, I'm guessing your birthday was recently?! Happy birthday, Jacob!!



Birthdays seem to make sense as children. But starting in the late teenage years and on it seems less so. I do find it odd for those over 30 who make a grand show of their birthday, it does seem like something that's fit for toddlers. Nonetheless...I still partake in wishing those close to me happy birthday. I just called my 78 year old grandma this past weekend to wish her happy birthday, but that could be argued its more of an excuse to talk to her than anything else. For me, the day doesn't feel any different than otherwise. However, my birthday happens to fall on a holiday so I've always been with extended family and it's easily remembered by others.

[Jason]

So, I'm guessing your birthday was recently?!

I was thinking he just ran the numbers on how much money he would have saved if he was never born.

[IlliniDave]

:

I was thinking he just ran the numbers on how much money he would have saved if he was never born.

[Toska2]

Its a celebration of "just because*". This does not appeal to INTXs, we get satisfaction from real achievements. Real achievements dont come on a regular schedule (or at all :p) which makes it seem like life has been muted to others. Birthdays , in the modern world, is a compromise between nothing and celebrating every time the sun shines.

I make things awkward and say "My parents had sex nine months before. Is that what you are celebrating? Go high-five them."

*thanks to modern medicine

[Jason]

Have any of you stick in the muds ever had a slice of Carvel ice cream cake? I would celebrate a beheading with a bunch of jihadists for that shit.

[7Wannabe5]

I wonder whether Vegans or Paleos are more likely to eat the placenta? Colostrum and placenta would obviously be the natural predecessors of Carvel Ice Cream Cake.

[jennypenny]

I'll never look at a Carvel ice cream cake the same way again.

[George the original one]

No wonder I've never heard of Carvel. The closest one is 1000 miles away by car, in Los Angeles.

[George the original one]

The problem with celebrating birthdays is there can be so many of them between relatives & friends & coworkers. Now that I no longer have coworkers, they're a bit more manageable.

My own birthday? 30, 40, & 50 are in the past, so the only other hallmarks are financial birthdays: 58 (pension), 59.5 (penalty-free access to IRAs), 62 (social security), and 70 (IRA required minimum distribution and the other significant age for social security). Okay, and age 80, because that's when the real downhill slide begins if the grim reaper hasn't caught up to me yet.

[IlliniDave]

I do have to say as a parent, the birthdays of my kids are special days for me, anniversaries of sorts, even though we don't have materialistic celebrations now that they are adults.

[BRUTE]

I wonder whether Vegans or Paleos are more likely to eat the placenta? Colostrum and placenta would obviously be the natural predecessors of Carvel Ice Cream Cake.

obviously

[Campitor]

I haven't figured out a common factor except perhaps introversion in general. However, introverts still seem to like some parties ... just not as big.

Be honest - could it be the yearly reminder that the road in front of you is getting shorter than the road behind you that makes you irritable? There are extroverts that hate birthdays too and it's for this reason.

I'm neutral to birthdays in that I don't really care that it's my birthday - I care more for living the day fully - birthday not required.

"It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste
much of it. Life is long enough, and it's been given to us in generous
measure for accomplishing the greatest things, if the whole of it is
well invested. But when life is squandered through soft and careless
living, and when it's spent on no worthwhile pursuit, death finally
presses and we realize that the life which we didn't notice passing
has passed away.

So it is: the life we are given isn't short but we
make it so; we're not ill provided but we are wasteful of life. Just as
impressive and princely wealth is squandered in an instant when it
passes into the hands of a poor manager, but wealth however modest
grows through careful deployment if it is entrusted to a responsible
guardian, just so our lifetime offers ample scope to the person who
maps it out well." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Addendum I: I don't think you feel you're wasting your life but sometimes our subconscious needs a reminder that we have accomplished much and have lots to be happy about even on our birthdays.

Addendum II: Happy Birthday!

[Jason]

Should we be looking for warning signs here? Like is this the precursor to the "Extremely Frugal Man Arrested For Protesting Outside Local Chuck E. Cheese's" headline.

[DSKla]

I do what Jacob does, and tell people mine is February 30th. About 50% of people believe me at least for a little while.

The reason I hate them is it's the worst kind of participation trophy. People celebrate themselves just for being alive. Except with participation trophies in tee-ball, at least there are kids who ddi 't even show up and play, so the ones who got a trophy still did something. Maybe it was even their own idea and not their parents. But being born? Not your plan, not your execution, and 9 billion others currently living pulled off the same thing. What else can you say that about? Born woth four limbs? Nope. Born with sight? Nope. Contributing member of society? Hell nope. It's absolutely the minimum that everyone loving has accomplished, and unworthy of celebration.

I still go to people's dumb parties to avoid hurting their feelings, but I haven't had one in ages. If we only celebrated the birthdays of major contributors like MLK I'd be fine with that, but birthday divas who act like royalty for a week have ruined it for me.

[Campitor]

The reason I hate them is it's the worst kind of participation trophy. People celebrate themselves just for being alive.

Celebrating birthdays is an ancient tradition. It dates back to a time when many children didn’t survive their early years and adults died young. And it was a celebration of life in an epoch when a sense of community was felt more deeply and life a bit more monotonous.

You can now queue the “and decrease the surplus population” spiel if it makes you happy.

[Jason]

I don’t remember seeing a “Congratualations For Successfully Surgically Disjoining Siamese Twins Attached At the Head” ice cream cake in carvel but if that’s what you require to enjoy one, that’s your decision. I’ll take mine on my birthday.

[C40]

"Congratulations! Another year without dying"

[OTCW]

So, I'm guessing your birthday was recently?!

I was thinking he just ran the numbers on how much money he would have saved if he was never born.

Quality.