Moving

[Jason]

My birth family moved three times before I was 13 and it traumatized me. I don't blame anyone, but its the basis of my psychosis.

Moving is a foundational here. Where you live is the most likely determinative of your ERE success. When I think of moving however, I feel the need to puke. The sound and site of moving vans bring me great anxiety.

We think of moving all the time. I have moved frequently but I'd rather do anything else but that.

I was curious as to people's experiences and feelings toward moving. I have seen some describe it as the basis of freedom.

[James_0011]

I don't mind it - I see it as essential if you want to optimize your path to retirement. People I know who refuse to move out of my hometown have not achieved any level of financial success.

It also helps if you don't own a lot of things and are flexible with your living situation.

I may have different attitudes if I liked where I grew up or had a lot of family in the area. I never really had a strong community in one place so I can't speak to that. I also have a strong independent streak (idk if it's good or bad) so there's that.

I also hate working, so moving to shorten my retirement time is okay. If I liked my job I may have a different view.

[jacob]

We're (both) in a rut when we've stayed in the same place for too long. It typically takes about 2-4 years (median time) to start looking outward. The record for staying in one place over the past two decades is 4.5 years for both of us.

I have no/little desire for perma-travel though.

I think a lot of my tendencies towards minimalism stem from the desire to move as easily as possible. Ideally I can carry everything I own on my back. The couple of times when I've moved like that, it's been extremely easy. The inability to carry it personally .. or requiring a car or worse a truck is a deciding factor as to whether I want to acquire/own something. Ditto goes for signing up for shit/services that want my address.

I do not like roots or stuff. To many those are the very things they see as security but to me they feel more like prison bars... so in a sense, moving is a kind of freedom, but I value the ability to move rather than moving in itself.

So my source of stress is excess stuff and papers that need to be filed or be in order. Effectively this means I'd rather avoiding owning or signing up than having to deal with such. DW is more logistically talented than I am in this department. This means that she can/will/prefer to "carry" more. This causes some authority/responsibility issues that requires compromises.

[Seppia]

I have moved 12 times since 2001, across 7 cities, 3 countries and 2 continents.
I love a chance to see something new, but this said I have found two cities where I could maybe have staid longer.
I know I could live in New York City for the rest of my life, probably in Nice also

[Jason]

When we bing watch Netflix shows and see areas like Wales, Scotland, France, English countryside, we go "wow, that's nice." Or that guy here who posted pics of Zurich. Man, that was beautiful. But for the most part, I just feel like "Wherever I go, there I will find myself" type of deal and that just deflates the idea.

We do know, however, the financial benefits of moving to other areas. America does not thrill me, we have looked into Kansas, like Dorothy and Warren Buffet. People do seem happier there. And fatter. I just don't know what I would there.

[Bankai]

My family moved 4 times before finally settling when I was 4 yo. When I was 25, I moved to another country and have since moved 6 times in 10 years. What I dislike the most about moving is updating the address with all the banks/institutions etc. and cancelling/signing up for services. Moving itself is not that bad since we own much less stuff than a typical family (last time we hired a small van and it was only half full). One of the advantages of moving is that it gives you a chance to go through your belongings and mercilessly get rid of what’s no longer needed (this jumper that’s too big and you’ve not put it on even once despite saying otherwise for all those years). Another, is a fresh start in a new place, a new neighborhood to explore, new parks etc. The novelty only lasts a couple of months though.

[George the original one]

My birth family moved three times before I was 13 and it traumatized me.

Only 3 times? That's the same as how much I moved (age 5, 10, 12, & 14). By comparison, my wife was an Air Force brat, so moved every year or two while she was growing up.

Moving is a hassle, but I'm perfectly willing to better my location/lifestyle... fairly certain that I've currently got the best match for my desires & budget, though naturally one dreams of a "nicer" place. Fully expect to be here for at least 25 years unless health unexpectedly declines.

[Jason]

In all due respect, people respond differently to things. I did not respond to it well. What can I say.

[enigmaT120]

I don't want to move now. Unless it's to Costa Rica.... I've lived here in the Oregon coast range since 1991 and have watched my forest grow from a newly planted clear cut to something that is ready for a commercial thinning when I can retire and get to it.

My family moved a lot when I was a kid but I don't remember any trauma from it. Went to 12 different grade (1 - 6) schools, though we stayed in one place long enough for me to go to one junior and high school. I moved several times in college, then had to move to Yakima, WA to get a full time job, then was on the road all the time in hotels, then moved back to Salem, OR for a promotion. In 1991.

[Kriegsspiel]

We moved a lot when I was a kid, but most of them (4) were in the same city so I knew all the same kids until I graduated HS. Since college I've moved to 10 places on 3 continents. I enjoy moving and living in new places. Like Jacob, I keep my possessions whittled down and don't like signing up for subscription/address stuff. All I have to do to move from my current place is to pay a move out fee to my building.

[ducknalddon]

In all due respect, people respond differently to things. I did not respond to it well. What can I say.

We moved a lot when I was a child, I think the biggest impact for me was the disruption of my education.

It might have something to do with my lack of attachment to my current location even though I've been there twenty years. If it wasn't for my wife I'm sure I'd have moved on by now.

[Farm_or]

As a child, my family moved a lot too - due to economics. The move that impacted me the most was in fourth grade.

I went from a good school to another state that did not value education. The fourth grade was scripted. I didn't know there was such a thing. Everyone was at least two grade levels behind me! I couldn't relate to anyone and had trouble making friends.

I would spend all day in class looking around in disbelief as everyone repeated what the teacher just said. At night, I would pray to God that we would move back to my home state.

[Jason]

I think that's my biggest issue - interruption of education. It varies throughout the country. I found the best to actually be in the mid-west as opposed to the East Coast.

[Ego]

Moving is a good way to practice changing.

For me, moving every so often is a good way to induce the changes I know need to happen but are sticky because of routine. It is the perfect time to introduce new, positive habits and eliminate old, negative ones. Upending the comfortable continuity of "home" allows me to take stock of how my life has changed and how it will continue to change.

Those affixed to one place tend to view change as a bad thing. It is something that happens to them. Something to be minimized. Moving can rejigger that perspective on change. It can break dysfunctional links between possessions and self so frequently seen in older people who have been fixed in place for a long time. They tend to think of themselves in terms that intermingle their land / home / front yard with who they are. Flower beds and facades take on great importance. The business of annual maintenance and seasonal blooming quells the disquiet and gives the false impression of a cyclical permanence that does not exist.

[classical_Liberal]

...

[EdithKeeler]

My birth family moved three times before I was 13 and it traumatized me. I don't blame anyone, but its the basis of my psychosis.

I guess different people react different ways. I lived in 8 different houses, 2 different states, 6 different cities, before I graduated from high school. Left me basically feeling like if I don't move every 3-4 years, something's wrong. I have a love-hate relationship with moving--great opportunity to clean out stuff, minimize belongings. But it is a pain in the butt. But fun exploring a new place, making new friends.

[Jean]

But don't you have any long lasting friendship that is worth staying?

[James_0011]

@Jean

Most people I've known in every place I've lived have moved (for a job, to be closer to a spouse's family, etc). Maybe it's an America vs Europe thing?

[Jason]

I guess some people move as an opportunity and some because of an opportunity. ERE people seem to fall into the former.

[wood]

What specifically traumatized you Jason?

I moved to the other side of the country at age 7, and to a third location (by choice) at age 19. I have trouble defining which of these 3 places are "home" to me. In that sense I wish I had roots/home. I suppose this is why I'm open to completely relocating myself in the future, even to the other side of earth. It's likely that I will have several homes in the future and rent out the ones I'm not using. Maybe 4-5 homes. And maybe I won't inhabit them all, but having the option feels like a nice piece of freedom to me.

In terms of just moving houses as opposed to city/location, that's something I've done 4 times in the past 12 years and if it wasn't such a hassle I'd likely move more often to get closer to work/grocery shop/cheaper rent etc. Now that I've minimized my possessions I can move at any time. Like many here I value the ability to move easily. jacob described it well.