Moving

[jacob]

One benefit that is lost by moving is the large social nets people develop. Someone who's been living in an area for decades (+bonus if they also grew up there) not only knows a lot of people (and by a lot I mean the few who never left) but is also able to connect to similar networks in the area. E.g. you know Alice and Bob ... and it turns out that Alice and Bob both know Carl (who is also perma-local) whom you don't know but now have a strongly networked path to.

Conversely, people who moved around a lot have a looser but wider net, typically a professional one, with points in major cities or major companies around the world.

People are usually associated with either one or the other. Doing both on a sustained basis is pretty hard.

[SustainableHappiness]

I had 27 different roommates and 8 different housing locations across the 6 years of College/University and another 2 locations since then. Prior to that I’d moved once a couple blocks away in my childhood.

27 roommates teaches you more than 1 roommate (especially when you accidently room with a coke head and/or alcoholic). However, I now prefer 1 roommate (DW). 10 different housing locations (apartments, laundry rooms, semis, full houses) teaches you more than 1 housing location. However, I now prefer to settle into 1 city at least. That being said we’ve decided not to buy real estate in the near future so we likely have more moves in our future.

We’ve moved to the city we are likely going to settle in and been here for almost a year and it has been terrific having that feeling as we explore the trails and neighbourhoods. However I doubt I would feel that feeling if I hadn't of moved so much...????

[SustainableHappiness]

Jacob's social network benefit that he just gave is a large reason why we've chosen to stay within a certain city after moving into Semi-FI. Also, financially, Capital + strong social network/professional network in a single location also opens up opportunities for cool localized investment opps.

[Seppia]

I guess some people move as an opportunity and some because of an opportunity. ERE people seem to fall into the former.

I started moving because of the latter, and with time I have shifted towards the former.
For my wife and I, the minus of losing your network is more than compensated by the acquisition of new life experience and skills, especially since we have always managed to stay in touch with the (admittedly few) people we really care about.

A big reason why we moved back to Italy is to stay closer to our families: both her parents and mine are from the same city, and while they aren't "old", they are entering the stage where we can finally give back a bit of what they gave us.

Plus, being able to go visit great friends in Paris, New York and southern France isn't too bad

[cmonkey]

I spent my early 20's moving around a bit, I think I lived in 4 or 5 different places all for work. Most of those were in the mid-west with the exception of a summer in California. I did a lot more traveling than I wanted to and I think it burned me a bit on moving and traveling so I wanted to nest for a while.

Now that I've lived here for 6 years though, I can feel the sting of the rut setting in a bit and I don't like it. DW is kinda feeling the same. Now that we are not bound to this area for a job anymore we instantly started talking of moving but its difficult to accept given all that we've done here. In reality this will take a while because we need to unload stuff and I am much more inclined toward this. So there is work to do.

Ultimately though we are looking to have kids and so I'm not sure how many more times we'll move. I can see moving with kids as being both traumatizing and culturally stimulating for the children. Which is better, I'm not sure.

[Jason]

My feeling is that if you are moving from one environment to another that possesses no material distinctions with the exception that its a different state or region, there is nothing culturally stimulating about it. Now if the economic benefits are significant, that's important to you as parents, but don't rationalize the move as though it will provide cultural benefits.

If you are moving from a suburban to an urban environment or in reverse, or from one country to another that's a different matter.

Listen, I like stability, what can I say. I understand its a personal preference, but that's my two cents.

[Smashter]

@CMonkey I had a similar experience when I got my first remote job. I instantly wanted to move, even though my location was perfectly reasonable. What is your dream location? Maybe it's time to revive this thread? https://forum.earlyretirementextreme.co ... &start=250

[cmonkey]

@smashter, We will move close to DW's family when the time comes since we are pretty close to them. The city they live in has everything we want too, a good library, a 200+ acre park, good riding/walking trails, great COL.

There are a number of things we don't like about our current area, number one being there are more than 5K people in the 50 sq/mi around us.

[BPA]

I think I understand how you feel.

My youth was chaotic and I longed for stability and a physical place that would embody it. It was a real triumph for me when, as a single mother, I was able to buy a not so fancy house in a safe neighbourhood. My kids loved growing up here.

I quit working two years ago when my son was in his last year of high school. I knew I couldn't live here indefinitely without working again. But for the last seven years I've become acquainted with a lower cost of living area and I've fallen in love with it. For the longest time, I felt sad when I thought about selling my house here, but I've been practising stoicism and have been imagining life in my chosen town. I could sell my place here, and have a much nicer duplex there without a mortgage.

And so that's what I'm hoping to be in the process of doing now.

The weird thing is that even six months ago I felt sad about leaving my house here, but now...I can't wait to move. It could be because my son is now an adult and is making his own choices. He loved growing up here and I think he'll be sad when I sell. But I am excited about moving. And the perfect property is now available.

The same family drama that caused chaos when I was young will soon be 2000 km away. I'll have walks along the ocean front and bike rides on trails. I can walk everywhere in this town which luckily has a number of amenities that I need. The two things it doesn't have are good restaurants and many high-paying jobs. But I don't have to care about those. My partner has already moved there for a job. (Luckily his job is paying comparable to what he was making here.) My brother, who is my roommate, is going with me. My son might join me later.

So, I'm guessing stoicism, getting to know the new place, and visualizing life there all have helped me. Plus, it means I don't have to work if I don't want to. I love that idea.

Good luck!