New Thoughts on Careers?

[TopHatFox]

I'd first like to say that the amount of privilege I have sometimes is surreal.

Anyway, I attended a Career Trek this past day with a few other students and two college career advisers. Really fancy stuff: we met with presidents, CEOs, VPs, Managing Directors, Communication Officers, and others of two billion dollar non-profits/philanthropic funds, as well as a venture capital firm.

All of the executives we met with were incredibly well spoken. Actually, I had trouble following them often, as if they were speaking another, more sophisticated language than the rest of us. It reminded me of when I first transitioned from my public high school to an elite liberal arts college. Actually, pretty much all of them, including the entry level Program Assistants, had Masters degrees, mostly in the liberal arts combined with an MBA or more liberal arts. Many of them had pedigree with the Ivy League or other top schools. The majority had spent the past decade, two decades, 3 decades, or more of their life dedicated to multiple tours of duty hopping between improving their company, to improving multiple companies, to attaining certifications/higher degrees.

Although they seemed happy at face value, I admit, I wondered if they really were. I also wondered whether these folks who dressed well, talked well, and were otherwise emaulate were actually wealthy in the asset/debt way, or merely had high income, high resource life styles.

In any case, I could likely not justify my existence to my old self if I were to follow a similar path to theirs. What if my purpose in my life was to maximize shareholder value, or even to contribute millions a year via grant money, while corporations rake in tens of billions merely in revenue? Hardly worth it in my opinion. I'd much rather live a life mostly full of adventure, meaningful romance, heroic activism, broad travel, philosophical inquiry, and cultural diversity.

I can't really put a clear finger on it, maybe my trouble with the Career Trek is that we explored 20 different flavors of Soda (different positions and companies), but it was all still soda (indefinite office work and credentialism). Perhaps the Career Trek (vending machine) is not the best place to find kale...?

[James_0011]

Yeah its bulshit, thats why we retire right?

[Scott 2]

Given that you already earned the ticket, I'd encourage you to at least experience their world. There are a lot of perks, and you don't have to anchor on an identity established at twenty.

At the very least it's interesting to move between the classes of society and understand what life is like.

Working on something relative meaningless, with highly talented people, can be a lot of fun.

[Dragline]

Like the old proverb says, you can't really judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. That's true for both people less financially well off and more financially well off than you. Just don't try to put people who outwardly seem to be doing the same thing all in the same box.

Some will have it all together and some will be wrecks in one or more aspects of their lives. What they wear and how they talk is probably not that indicative of either.

[Chad]

All of the executives we met with were incredibly well spoken. Actually, I had trouble following them often, as if they were speaking another, more sophisticated language than the rest of us.

This is why I hate abbreviations, as they are part of the problem.

[Farm_or]

In my twenties, I worked part time in a weight lifting gym. I was helping a group of ladies learn their routine.

They saw a picture of Cory Everson on a magazine and remarked, "I don't want to look like that."

"That doesn't happen by accident."

[distracted_at_work]

Hi Olaz, I've been reading your posts and I'd surmise I'm a year or so ahead career wise but we have similar questions...

I'd first like to say that the amount of privilege I have sometimes is surreal.

I'd much rather live a life mostly full of adventure, meaningful romance, heroic activism, broad travel, philosophical inquiry, and cultural diversity.

Those two statements sum up how I feel in an office career, even with a small private company. No shareholders, quarterly reports etc. and I'm surrounded by kind people. Yet, I still want out. But I'm privileged! Unemployment is 10% and I'm on the way up. Shouldn't I want this?

I'll see age 50+ people on my walk in to work, in the dark, in 25 below, looking stressed and hurried and angry and I think .... what the actual fuck are you doing with your life. I don't want to be one of those people. Sorry for the language but I'm feeling particularly passionate this week.

My decision (perhaps yours) will be, can I trade 4-5 more years of my life to this before ERE? I probably will... hope I don't get hit by a bus in the meantime.

[Dragline]

I'll see age 50+ people on my walk in to work, in the dark, in 25 below, looking stressed and hurried and angry and I think .... what the actual fuck are you doing with your life. I don't want to be one of those people. Sorry for the language but I'm feeling particularly passionate this week.

My decision (perhaps yours) will be, can I trade 4-5 more years of my life to this before ERE? I probably will... hope I don't get hit by a bus in the meantime.

As a different version of those 50+ers I can tell you that you will see a divergence between you and your peers that becomes pronounced around an average age of 40, although it could be somewhat earlier or later. Some people have plans and take care of themselves, physically, mentally and financially. Others don't, and/or abuse something or somebodies, or find themselves the victims of said abuse. Where you are at 50+ usually starts on a planned pathway -- or a meandering wandering infatuation with attractive nuisances -- 20-30 years earlier.

[Scott 2]

I'll see age 50+ people on my walk in to work, in the dark, in 25 below, looking stressed and hurried and angry and I think .... what the actual fuck are you doing with your life.

Most likely, they are trying to provide the best life they can, for the people they care about, in the best way they know how. This could be family, it could be coworkers, it could be those benefited by their favorite charity, it could be just themselves.

It's another path. It has pros and cons. What's important, is that it aligns with their personal values. A life misaligned is torture.

I'm still figuring mine out, that's for sure. Every time I think I got it, I experience something new, and I learn a little more. As a result, over time, I've become less prone to automatically dismissing a path I haven't walked.

[distracted_at_work]

I'm still figuring mine out, that's for sure. Every time I think I got it, I experience something new, and I learn a little more. As a result, over time, I've become less prone to automatically dismissing a path I haven't walked.

I'll admit I struggle with empathy but I see what I wrote was very judgemental. I didn't mean it to be that way. You hit the nail on the head with a life misaligned being torture, that's a better way to describe what I see and what I fear. Of course, there is nothing wrong with trying to live the best way you can. I know many people who love their careers so much they will do it until they die. That's great! They do something they love.

Where you are at 50+ usually starts on a planned pathway -- or a meandering wandering infatuation with attractive nuisances -- 20-30 years earlier.

This is my reason for ERE. I'd like to start meandering
(and be fairly self-sufficient in doing so)

[Dragline]

Hah -- good point. Unless you are independently wealthy, you can meander first and then get stuck on a pathway that's very difficult to get off and may be unpleasant, or choose a pathway first that will lead to even more attractive choices being available for meandering later.

[7Wannabe5]

Dragline said: As a different version of those 50+ers I can tell you that you will see a divergence between you and your peers that becomes pronounced around an average age of 40, although it could be somewhat earlier or later. Some people have plans and take care of themselves, physically, mentally and financially. Others don't, and/or abuse something or somebodies, or find themselves the victims of said abuse. Where you are at 50+ usually starts on a planned pathway -- or a meandering wandering infatuation with attractive nuisances -- 20-30 years earlier.

Dunno about this. I am pretty much world-class at meandering, and I am almost 52, and I do not know of a single peer with whom I would like to trade overall situation/lifestyle. It's not so much that I think every aspect of my life is perfect, or even at par. More like I have already experienced a lot of what I wanted to experience in life, and I am rather surprised to find myself still holding a fistful of tickets I can spend at the carnival.

Also, in retrospect, some of my best decisions were against the grain of conventional wisdom or recommended practice or what you should admit to benefiting from in polite company. For instance, having kids relatively early and stopping having kids relatively early, quitting my job and starting my own business with only $8000 in the bank, finally divorcing my ex-husband, having a little bit of very good work done in my 40s rather than waiting until my 60s, and favoring cookies, coffee and sex over smoking, drinking and operating motor vehicles at high speeds as my vices of choice.

[Solvent]

In my twenties, I worked part time in a weight lifting gym. I was helping a group of ladies learn their routine.

They saw a picture of Cory Everson on a magazine and remarked, "I don't want to look like that."

"That doesn't happen by accident."

I appreciated this analogy, thankyou.

Olaz shouldn't think he might wind up where those guys are if he doesn't make repeated and conscious efforts at making it happen.

I've only worked with a couple of people that sound like they fit the template suggested in OP, and I found them generally great to be around. Highly motivated, interesting people. Not necessarily people I'd want to emulate in every respect, but I sure wish I could spend some more time learning from them now that they're out of my circle of acquaintances.

[The Old Man]

I'd first like to say that the amount of privilege I have sometimes is surreal.

The brainwashing is strong with this one.

I'd much rather live a life mostly full of adventure, meaningful romance, heroic activism, broad travel, philosophical inquiry, and cultural diversity.

To which much is given, much is expected. With the surreal amount of privilege you have, how will you give back?

[NPV]

I'd much rather live a life mostly full of adventure, meaningful romance, heroic activism, broad travel, philosophical inquiry, and cultural diversity.

Don't you think the pathway to most of these things is the networks, organizational resources, social and professional status embedded in pursuing one of these high flying non-profit or for-profit careers?

Few things would offer you more adventure and travel than an international professional career, be it in non-profit, private or public sector. Meaningful romance will be harder 10 years from now without a successful career both because most of your peers in terms of education and intelligence will be in these networks of successful professionals in which you would not be included and because social signalling gets increasingly important as you age. I don't know much about activism, but would guess that you want to be on boards of relevant non-profits etc. if you want people to actually listen to you and have real impact. It will be the same and even more so for non-romantic relationships: as a student at a top college you might be taking for granted the huge network of interesting people on campus for granted, but 10 years from now most peers with whom you would want to have deep conversations will be once again mostly socializing within their professional and social networks.

If you see a better pathway to your goals, more power to you. But I do not see one obviously better for someone in your shoes.