Early Retirement Extreme Forums

Any of you have one? Interestingly enough, my professor dropped that in grad school, about 1/2 of her male class had them.

At this point, I'm fairly confident I do not want dependents such as children (or pets for that matter), though I'm certainly not going to go to the scalpel quite yet (I prefer to avoid surgeries and would need to research potential side-effects)! I'm simply curious what your general thoughts are on children and vasectomies.

Useful: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn ... /vasectomy [according to this the US cost is only $0-1000]

We've discussed the child-free life part of it quite a bit in other thread. One is the "convince me to have children" thread that I started..

I've concluded that I don't wish to have children, and also that I want to get a vasectomy. There are potential side-effects but I believe they are pretty rare. I've found varying reports of rates. The one that stood out to me was basically "severe dick pain". Like, permanently. YIKES!

My friend's wife is a nurse or something similar and she works in an area/group where they commonly do vasectomies. She sent me an information sheet from her doctor, and it had something I found quite interesting, surprising, and offensive: that he would only do a vasectomy on you if you meet certain criteria: having numerous children, being married and the wife consenting, etc. Pretty fucking ridiculous. When I asked her about this, she said that isn't really the case and they'll do it on whoever wants and pays.

Most vasectomies are done on men that are currently married after the couple has had the number of children they want (or, possibly, after the last accident). One thing I learned as I got into adulthood is that most, if not nearly all first children were unintended pregnancies. Having had that happen, I expect that once they get to or above their ideal number of kids, they want to cut off the chance or more accidents.

I do think you're pretty young to be getting a vasectomy. But you're also more intentional about your life than most people your age. You're also at the age where I believe unintentional pregnancies are the most likely. No matter what age you are, many people will tell a childless man "Oh, but you could change your mind in the future. Don't do it!"

I'm probably going to get one. I thought I should check on costs and coverage while I had my work insurance to see if I should get it done before quitting. But I didn't feel like expending the effort to do so. I may get around to it over the next few years. Or maybe if/when I go to Southeast Asia and it's much less expensive than in the U.S.

My dad and my BIL both had one. Don't know the cost; I expect this varies based on insurance, etc. but I'm told it's less expensive than the female version. Both my dad and BIL said they were a little sore (bag of frozen peas on the crotch plus painkillers) for 48 hours after, but were "functional" again in a week. Both also emphatically said it's worth it to not have either the pregnancy worries or have wives on the pill.

I had the female version of this surgery after I had my youngest. Recovery time for that was 4 weeks and it cost us about $2k. That was full sticker price, BTW.

The amount that one desires having kids can vary based on the personality and desires of the other person involved. My wife wants to be a mom as pretty much her main goal in life, and I know she will be excellent at it. If I ended up with someone with much lower... "mom aptitude", I would probably be much less confident that having kids is a good idea.

The stage of life you're in can also be a huge factor. It's easy to see why a 21 year old recent college grad would desire to be free of the responsibility of having kids "forever", being perfectly satisfied staying up late, playing video games, going on big adventures with other young people, etc. But interests and life goals change. Someone recently out of college and in the real world may feel that they are old and mature enough to decide to never have kids, but they may go through a lot of surprising changes over the following 5-10 years that have a huge effect on what they want in life.

Anyway have you heard of that non-surgical and reversible wonder-vasectomy that an Indian doctor came up with a couple years ago? It sounded almost too good to be true and an excellent solution for someone who isn't 100% sure and wants to avoid surgery. You might want to see if that or anything like it has gone past the experimental stage.

huh, wow I thought it cost more. I wonder, is that the total, full cost? It must be an average number of that the patients pay out of pocket.

It's cheap and easy. Outpatient surgery. No side effects. No big deal.

But you are too young -- you may change your mind about a lot of things in the next 20-30 years. Then it could cost you a lot.

At this point you ought to be wearing a condom for self-preservation reasons anyway, so put off the decision until you get to the point where you have a relationship that permits condom-free sex.

Or am I still in 1990?

There's no way I'm clicking on that video link.

Serious question ... aren't you guys afraid that if you get a vasectomy, you might be less inclined to wear a condom? I understand the fear of accidental babies, but I also think there are health concerns to consider. Maybe it's automatic for you guys (wearing one) so it's a non-issue? I have no idea. It's just that I could see how one could get lazy about condoms if there was no risk of pregnancy.

edit: Didn't see Ego's post about the same thing. Are we dating ourselves with the question??

C40 wrote:huh, wow I thought it cost more. I wonder, is that the total, full cost? It must be an average number of that the patients pay out of pocket.

Total, full cost of surgery 5 1/2 years ago. At that time our health insurance had a $10k deductible and we hadn't hit it yet, so we paid for the whole thing out of pocket. That was not counting pain meds or the thumbs-up doctor's visit after.

Edit: whoops, I thought you were talking to me. Didn't realize the OP had been edited.

I'm 32, single, no kids and I got one. Cash cost $1000 + cost of pain meds. Insurance picked up 100% minus $25 drug copay.

I called a urology clinic and received a packet detailing the process and instructions. Went in two weeks later. At the office I watched a video containing the doctor. Doctor asked if I had any questions and politely if I still wanted it. I said yep. No pressure.

No pressure until I got home that is. I had mine cauterized which is slightly more tissue damage. That means bag of peas and baby aspirin for a week. I made the mistake of going to work after a week. My job requires walking 6-10 flights of stairs and two miles. The swelling and bruising lasted a month. Days 3-10 I had a clot half the size of a nut.

Still would recommend.

Ego wrote:At this point you ought to be wearing a condom for self-preservation reasons anyway, so put off the decision until you get to the point where you have a relationship that permits condom-free sex.

Or am I still in 1990?

Nope, its somewhat less dangerous, but you are essentially correct. "Don't be a loner -- cover that boner!"

Here's my two cents:

I'm in my mid 30s, married and have one child. I too at one point thought of getting "snipped" and not "having to worry."

Well I met my wife and my feelings toward life changed. We are very happy to have our baby and we may have more.

Guys who want a vasectomy because they don't want kids..they should just wear a condom. Condoms are what 97% effective when used properly, something like that? Those are pretty good odds.

If you are an organized mind type of person to be worrying about accidentally having a baby that you don't want, then wearing a condom must be done before anything else. Even if you did get snipped you should wear one after anyways.

If you are not an organized mind type of person (which I doubt many people on this board are) and don't care about having babies or not or getting diseases or not then do whatever you want, but if you do know better then I'd advise to wear one. It's like wearing a seat belt or bike helmet or sunscreen.

In my experience, for a person not wanting children for many years, to becoming neutral on having kids, I now enjoy being a Dad and am glad I never made any permanent irreversible decisions before I really got to know myself.

Dragline wrote:

Ego wrote:At this point you ought to be wearing a condom for self-preservation reasons anyway, so put off the decision until you get to the point where you have a relationship that permits condom-free sex.

Or am I still in 1990?

Nope, its somewhat less dangerous, but you are essentially correct. "Don't be a loner -- cover that boner!"

Your response made me curious so I went searching for data.

1 HIV transmission for every 2500 exposures of unprotected insertive vaginal sex.
http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/ ... posure-hiv

Vasectomies are reversible, but as always with surgery there can be complications. There is a male birth control solution (better than condoms) undergoing trials - not sure when it will be available in the USA. Personally, at your age I would defer the vasectomy decision until you are in your thirties.

brute uses abstinence. easy when no human females want to procreate with him.

BRUTE wrote:brute uses abstinence. easy when no human females want to procreate with him.

Ego wrote:
1 HIV transmission for every 2500 exposures of unprotected insertive vaginal sex.
http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/ ... posure-hiv

As the article says "not all exposures are created equal . . ."

Sound like a financial offering disclaimer, eh?

And this only accounts for one potentially negative outcome, albeit there are no longer the kind of "death sentences" that existed in the 80s and 90s when we couldn't even test accurately for who was infected.

Alternatives:

1 Self-control
2 Condom

Disadvantage:

Can not donate sperm.

In my universe which is heavily populated with married straight people in their 40s it is what considerate husbands do once the desired family size is achieved. Couples with planned c'section often do tubals.

My dh loves me so much he did it twice Seriously the first one didnt work. Public service announcement. Go back and supply a sample to check.

I also would chime in on the wait camp. A vas is cheap (even though we paided twice)
Reversals not so much. I also have two brothers and two male cousins that fathered children in their 40s