Midlife Crisis and ERE...

[wolf]

Do you feel or think that the U curve of happiness is real? It states that there is a bottom between 40 and 60 years.

http://midlifeandthriving.com/2016/10/0 ... happiness/

[Bankai]

Do you feel or think that the U curve of happiness is real? It states that there is a bottom between 40 and 60 years.

For the average person - possibly. However, the average person that age is deep in debt, has massive mortgage payments, is stressed out about job (which they usually hate but need to show up in order not to lose their house of cards), kids (which they have no deep connection with as they spent most their time at work), partner (with whom close connection was lost some time ago and who often leads a separate life under the same roof) and all this while worrying about what colleagues, neighbours, family, and friends will say. No wonder they report increase happiness when the mortgage is paid off, kids have gone from home and retirement only a few years away. Do I have to add it doesn't need to be this way?

[wolf]

@Bankai: Good explanation. I get it. It is very real as you described many factors of it. How old are you? Do you know or do you guess? I dunno. I am turning 35, but I cannot imagine myself having a midlife crisis, because my state of mind is contentness, happiness, stoicism, web-of-goals, ere, realism, buddhism, awareness...Of course I will figure it out by myself eventually, but I don't (want) to believe it, because right now I think I can influence, control and manage some parts of my life. And if midlife eventually come I hope that I will be able to get through it by using the principles and tools... I have learned since then.

[Bankai]

@MDFIRE2024: I'm your age. I don't expect any midlife crisis happening to me. I think the crisis is mainly a result of dissatisfaction with one's life, partially due to the reasons I mentioned above, partially due to the realization that one doesn't really live their own life, but rather lives to fulfill expectations of others. Now, if you live your life as you, and not anyone else, want, and are in control of it, why should you have a crisis? You designed it and not anyone else. Yes, you will make mistakes. It's not possible to always make good decisions, but then you only need to make few good decisions in your life and stick to them to live good and happy life. Besides, is it even possible for ERE folks to have a midlife crisis? How would it even look? "Damn, I fucked up big time, I should have bought this mcmansion and all these nice and shiny toys and just sit in front of the TV as everyone else was doing all along, instead of just constantly improving as a person and saving all this money... oh, wait..."

[Riggerjack]

Odd that nobody mentioned that midlife crisis seems to tie to shortly after the kids leave home. Now there is this gap, where all that time and energy that used to be devoted to raising kids, has to be dealt with. This break leads to people suddenly having time/energy surplus. That surplus can be filled by questions about what it all about, and what do I want to do with my life now?

This is the crisis part of the midlife crisis. If other demands fill the gap, no crisis.

As we tend to be more intentional than conventional around here, I expect the midlife crisis rate to be much lower, and less intense.