What to do to fill in the time

[Aus_E_Expat]

A big fear I have about ERE is "what to do to fill in the time".

I have been in the habit of working 60 to 70 hours per week for years. I used to enjoy the work but no longer enjoy it but what do I do if I don't work? I have been so busy working, I have few hobbies or interests and tend to be a couch potatoe when not working.

I have had friends who have reach FI in their early 50s, retired and then gone back to work within 6-12 months as they were bored silly. In each case, they had school age children so travelling the world was not an option.

I am at a point where I could be FI but I am filled with fear about what I do all day.

I would be interested to hear how other cope with this issue and fill in their time.

[Sclass]

I'm still working through this challenge. I have been retired for 1.5 yrs now from a very intense engineering job at a startup. I was really at loose ends when I started.

Here is what I did.

Getting health insurance was a huge challenge at 44 with a pre-existing condition. That was a major stressor and time sink right out the gate.

Once I got covered, I did a lot of mini projects. Fixed broken things in my cars that I'd neglected. Nothing like the complexity of the projects I did while working since I was burned out. Learned car upholstery sewing. I made a lot of little things...like converting all my alkaline powered devices to lithium rechargeable using discarded laptop batteries.

Read library ebooks. Visited retired friends. Collected library cards from libraries all over my state do I could download ebooks. Wired a vacation home with webcams and VoIP. Made biodiesel. Took up hiking local nature areas again for the first time.

Expanded my auto mechanics repitoire with YouTube videos. I attempted some major fixes after seeing how to vids.

Similarly I taught myself how to skate backwards with YouTube. I'd always been an avid skater but I never could skate backwards. I have become a much better skater watching YouTube and rolling around the local park on weekdays. Silly but fun.

Got two high quality 80s vintage RC cars and powered them with laptop batteries from discarded PCs. Started out as nitromethane (gas) engine and made them electric using old makita drill motors. Was fun but got bored after two months.

Restored an air rifle acquired as a child (Sheridan built for life). It is probably one of the few things I kept from my childhood that still works. Shot targets then killed off the squirrels raiding my garden fruit/veggies. Felt good after losing crops for years to those pests. That got boring after two months. More strawberries for me now.

Learned how to dress and cook wild game from YouTube. Shot a feral (white) duck in friends swimming pool and made curry.

Read more investing books. One a week on finance, investing, politics or industry. Also shifted my investments to a more income oriented portfolio. Targeted half a dozen potential investments.

To sum it up I've been at loose ends and I've had to find lots of little things to do to fill the time. It was a big transition going from yearlong engineering projects to one day mini projects. I'm still always looking for something to keep me busy. I always seem to find it.

Let's just say I'm living day to day. I do feel guilty while talking to people about big projects they work on but I cannot talk myself into checking into the cube prison just to have a steady activity I can use to answer the dreaded question, "so what do you do?"

[Aus_E_Expat]

Sclass - your post confirms what I thought.

Unfortunately, I am not very handy - DIY has never been my thing and I have never been able to do anything mechanical.

I am good at my job - but maybe not much else.

[Hottentot]

You can be good at anything if you really want to.
Not ULTRA AWESOME MASTER, but good.

[Dragline]

If you have kids like your friends, the first thing to do is get more involved in their activities. Other than reading, fiddling with investmens and lurking around the internet, that's pretty much where all my time goes these days and I'm very satisfied with it. All the other stuff can wait until they are gone.

I'm actually a bit sad that your friends did not see the opportunity to work on those relationships.

[Chad]

The first thing would probably be to take your 20 (work) - 10 (off) schedule and flip it to 10-20. Seems like it would still give you work and it would save your family and social life, without being a shock for everyone. It would also give you time to find a new identify for yourself without going cold turkey on the old identity, which is obviously work.

[champ0608]

Here's how I like to fill my days;

Walking, training for 5k races, biking, reading, gardening, small woodworking projects, softball league, bowling league, water color painting, researching and writing a book, taking courses of interest at the community college, playing guitar, volunteering with a youth leadership development program, tutoring, and I coach a few bowlers, teach a few guitar lessons, not to mention I still work one day a week as a tour guide at a local museum.

All of this on top of the couch potato things I still enjoy like watching movies, following baseball, football, track and field, and watching NCIS.

There's not nearly enough time in a week to do everything I want to. A lot of time I feel like I need to lighten my load or schedule my time more carefully, just so I can get a taste of everything I like to do in a week, but part of the fun of being financially independent (or pretty close in my case) is being able to do exactly what I want, when I want.

Many of these endeavors are free for anyone to participate in.

I find it hard to believe anyone would be a boring enough individual to go back to work after retiring. I don't mean that to be insulting or smug towards your friends, but really, there's a lot you can do. Not being good at something is good enough reason to undertake it. You don't have to master anything, but becoming good is doable and commendable. Try things. You'll like some and you won't like others. Keep at it and you'll find things you love to do.

[Tyler9000]

"I am at a point where I could be FI but I am filled with fear about what I do all day."

One man's fear is another man's freedom. Worst case, you take a year off to decompress and find an interesting & sustainable new job that you truly enjoy. Success has many forms.

[Scott 2]

You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it. Some things are fun anyway. You can also find enjoyment in the process of improving, which is often easiest with something you are bad at.

Maybe start working 50-60 hours a week, then 40, etc.

If working 60-70 hours a week has carried the lifestyle that I'd expect, it might be a good idea to start with sleeping more, eating better and getting a little exercise. You could find an uptick in energy that makes the "what do I do next" question easier to answer.

[Aus_E_Expat]

Thanks for all of the comments.

I think working less is the start of things.

My wife and I have been doing a building project - building 2 beach front homes - I had hoped to project manage that this year but I could not get away from work so my wife has been basically on the island for the last 4 months project managing.

I would like to be able to spend less time next year working - I think because of the economic cycle, my area will slow down next year (after 5 years at a frenetic pace).

I agree I need to flip the time spent from 20 days in Asia and 10 days in Australia to the other way round.

Just on my fitness, one think I have made an effort on in the last 3 years is getting back to a reasonable level of fitness. I am not where I want to be yet but I am above average in fitness for a 54 year old male. If I had more time, I could get to a much better level.
I have seen too many of my friends and acquaintances die before reaching retirement. There is not much point in amassing these assets if I don't live to enjoy them.

[jacob]

http://earlyretirementextreme.com/wiki/ ... ucket_list

[Sclass]

@Aus..., whoa wait. I guess what I was saying is I am at loose ends. I'm not too good at filling my time with substantial stuff...like learning a new computer language or a spoken language. Reading Greek classics. There are certainly others here who have spent their time in far more meaningful ways than I have. I actually read this forum for inspiration so I don't end up frittering away my days.

It's funny, I was pretty good at working hard and saving but once the chains came off I was wondering what to do with myself. I still am trying to grow into this new life. Going back to the office just to have something to do is kind of a failure in my mind. It is like the ex cons who violate parole to go back inside. Going back to work is such a cop out. Especially if you already have money.

I was just sharing my somewhat frustrating search. I am a little burned out on technology and education for that matter (I stayed in school too long) so it is hard to get involved in an activity that requires discipline. So I just play like a kid.

Don't let my experience discourage you. This is part of the challenge. It reminds me of being young and wanting a girlfriend badly...then getting one and not really knowing what to do beyond the shallow stuff. I had a dream of walking away from toil and I did. My personal challenge is to get interested in something (volunteering, self improvement, travel, yoga, martial arts etc.) and do it.

Somehow the sacrificing act of convincing myself to want nothing is coming back to bite me. Again, a personal issue. Well, you asked what I am doing so there it is...for now.

Btw - I will second that being not so good at DIY or mechanical is a reason not to get down and dirty with a project. Anyone can get good by putting time in...so in retirement one can do a lot of something. People who pick up a musical instrument for fun certainly aren't discouraged by sucking at it. The Make: magazine crowd is a great example of people who aren't necessarily tech black belts having a heck of a good time doing mini projects. The challenge is wanting to learn.

[jacob]

I found it hard to fill my day with "little projects". When I retired from physics, I immediately devoted time to writing the ERE book which became a big project. Meanwhile I did things like gardening, sailing once a week, martial arts 3-4 times a week, ... (there's a blog post about it somewhere). At one point the book was done and I decided (wrongly) that I wanted to promote ERE. Now promotion is not in accord with who I am, so that eventually sucked. Being offered my current job (which was on my bucket list) was a godsend. I had a few other things in mind though. Doing a bunch of little things a few hours at a time wasn't gonna cut it though.

My point is, that I seem to thrive on having one big project at a time which I can/need to spend 4-6 hours a day on, at least. I can't fill my day with "many small projects". Well, I can ... but I'm happier when I have a "main occupation".

I have a couple of big projects in mind for when my quant job is over. I think it's important to have such plans.---At least have the next two major projects lined up if your brain works like mine.

[SimpleLife]

I've contemplated this as well. A few years ago I took a month off between jobs and before the second week was even up I was EAGER to go back to work (was starting a new job though, so take that with a grain of salt).

It did seem, at least a few years ago that if I was off for more than a week I got restless and want to go back to work to take on all these exciting projects. Usually that wears off within a few months of having returned to work...

My advice? Who says you have to do ANYTHING in retirement? Just sit in your front yard sipping lemonade all day while flipping through a magazine or book. Let the day go by. Just waste it. Relax. Enjoy doing nothing. Then the next day go to the part and do the same. Get lost in your thoughts. I plan to spend my first day in retirement getting out of bed without an alarm clock waking me, going outside and sipping lemonade while I watch my neighbors go to work.

[Sclass]

Jacob - I like reading your posts about sailing and carpentry. It inspires me to have some more substantial pursuits. My goal is to get on that track someday.

Good thing we are all so different. It's great to see the various perspectives in the forum.

@simplelife - yeah, that's cool doing nothing. By the time you can kick back you've probably done so much work that you don't need to do it to show anyone you still can. I do indeed spend a lot of time on the porch reading my kindle. Neighbors wives' think I'm some kind of criminal.

[jacob]

@Sclass - One of my plans (there are many plans in my web of goals) is to combine the two---get a "degree" in boatmaking at the boatbuilding school in Port Hadlock and sail it around for a while---combining with a liveabord lifestyle. My point being that it has to be turned into a full time endeavor to work for me. I principle I could do cabinetmaking in our apartment full time but I doubt I'd last.

I think one solution, like MBGI talked about, is to set a big goal and then pursue it in the usual sense, i.e. SMART goals. (I stress, that I don't explicitly formulate my goals as SMART goals but to be honest they do kinda look like it, that is, they're well-defined with a plan to achieve them.) I didn't have any SMART goals for my many hobbies ... only for my "big projects".

@SimpleLife - One thing to consider is that if you have the drive to get to FI and ERE, then you, sir, have A LOT OF DRIVE! Sip lemonade for more than a few months and that starts getting old. Methinks.

[pss]

Hi Aus_E_Expat,

I sympathize with your question, and have the same thoughts myself. For me, it's not just the "what fills the hours" question (although it's that as well), but also - how to get regular doses of social interaction. I know lots of people on this forum are happy without much social interaction, but it doesn't work for me.

I can and do arrange lunches, hikes, tennis, coffee, etc, with friends, and that's great. But some issues are:
- only a limited number of friends who have time during the week
- there's lots of scheduling work necessary
- this doesn't really bring NEW people into my life, I'm just maintaining existing relationships.
- ideally I'd rather actually WORK with people rather than entertaining myself all the time. I don't necessarily need to make money, but move productively forward towards a goal with people is fun.

I've attended an orientation for volunteers at a local food bank/job training center, where I might be able to do some ESL/computer training. That could be interesting, and expose me to a much broader set of people than I would normally see. So, that may be a good option. But I know from the experiences of friends and family that volunteering doesn't always work out, for the same reasons as jobs don't necessarily work out - boring work, the people, etc.

My experiences in the past, when I've taken a few months off work, have convinced me that I'm not suited to a complete lack of structure. What has worked well in the past (which I may start again soon) is a part-time schedule.

I'd love to hear any ideas for "filling the time" that aren't solitary occupations.

[HSpencer]

Firstly, I admitted defeat and gave up on inventing the world's first truly effective squirrel proof bird feeder. I had a great idea, but had not thought out the side effects. I had intended to electrify the feeder @110 VAC and electrocute the invading squirrel. I had forgotten two essential issues: First, forgetting to unplug the feeder, the owner could be in for a serious jolt when servicing it. Secondly, the squirrel would need to be grounded to receive the shock effectively. As an aside, I remembered that I could be found in contempt by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. After months of research and heartbreak, I finally gave up completely on this project.
Now, I spend my time on other trivial matters. One idea is to invent an attachment to one's power lawn mower, whereby one can insert a tube running off the exhaust muffler, and into the tunnel of a gopher. The concept is to use carbon monoxide created by the lawn mower engine exhaust to eradicate the life of the gopher in his natural habitat. Currently this idea resides only on a paper drawing I have created. I have yet to build and test the invention.

These ideas pop in and out of my mind. I sometimes spend weeks thinking about them.

Best Wishes
HSpencer

[Aus_E_Expat]

PSS - Thanks for your post.

Yes, that is part of the worry.

Research now indicates that unless you keep your mind active and interacting with others, you will have a higher risk of dementia (no one knows the cause of dementia but this appears to increase the risk).

I do worry I could easily slip into the habit of drinking too much coffee and spending my day in front of the TV (when I think about it, probably not much different from spending my day in front of my laptop computer). Luckily now the day is broken up with meetings etc.

I am having a week off this week so will see if I return in a better frame of mind.

[jacob]

@HSpencer - Long time no see!!

@pss - The startup people I know seem to revel in the ERE schedule having no problem connecting with people during all hours of the week. As for the rest of us, I definitely noticed that contact with normal salary-people were restricted to normal outside-9-5 hours and only for a few hours at a time. I suspect one has to live in the right place for startups (typically big city) and also have the mentality that creates the connections.