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[thrifty++]

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[ertyu]

From what I read, the issue here isn't with moving or not moving - you seem happy where you are, you have friends, you have a side hustle, and your health care needs are lined up. Rather, the issue is with the obsession with owning a house. Now, I'm sure you can rattle off all the reasons why it's absolutely imperative and urgent that you own a house, but you're not obsessed with buying a house just because of whatever reasons your logical mind has come up with. Owning a house is triggering something primal, something around what owning a house means to your subconscious. And as you've been on this same song for a while now, it doesn't seem like you are capable of doing much more but clinging to the idea. This might be therapy-grade: at the very least so you can unpack and process wtf is going on here, and so that owning vs. not owning can become a simple rational decision for you again. In general, this isn't the first time, or the first thing, that has seemed like you've gone on some rabid obsession that's actually not about the thing itself but rather an expression of some underlying neurosis. Stay in Wellington and go to therapy dude. You're in NZ, an actual civilized country with actual qualified therapists, take advantage and fix your life.

[thrifty++]

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[ertyu]

A house with a mortgage isn't security. The bank owns that, not you.

You don't need to "become happy with renting somehow" you need to deal with your findamental issue of feeling unsafe

[Kriegsspiel]

If the only draw of moving is to buy a (still expensive) house with a mortgage, I think I'd pass. Do you know people in that area? Or is there something cool nearby?

[Alphaville]

become a satisficer not an optimizer. sounds like you have a great life, and leaving it all behind to chase greedily after a pile of bricks is bound to ruin you.

there should be opportunities for housing in your area once the maket settles down. and high prices incentivize new contruction, which increases supply. calm down.

[Seppia]

If you’ve said yes to the move, then go.
Don’t back off.
What you’ll lose in terms of credibility will outweigh the satisfaction of staying.
Plus, I think living up to the commitments we take is important and ultimately will bring good karma.

If I understand this correctly you’re young, so plenty of time to do anything you want, and you’re moving within new Zeland, it’s not like you’re relocating halfway across the world.

[Alphaville]

i guess im missing some of the backstory and injecting my own into the mix.

do i regreat leaving a hcol area during a real estate bubble for a less desirable region with “cheaper housing”?

hell yes.

lower cost means less desirable (for a reason).

my friends who stayed in the pricey region which i fled found homes to buy post-bubble in “up and coming” neighborhoods, without having to move cross-country, and retained all the social, cultural & economic benefits of a major metro.

no use dwelling in regrets, but one can learn from pain

[thrifty++]

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[thrifty++]

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[thrifty++]

If you’ve said yes to the move, then go.
Don’t back off.
What you’ll lose in terms of credibility will outweigh the satisfaction of staying.

Yes this is true. It might make a dent in my credibility.

[thrifty++]

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[Jean]

It looks like you shouldn't move, but you Saïd yes, only you know how bad it would bé to changé your word.
Concerning the house, maybe you could get this safety feeling by buying a boat? It provides a lot of options, sailing is a nice hobby, and it doesn't has to be expensive.

[thrifty++]

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[Ego]

+1 to what @seppia said. If you've already committed, go.

Begin looking for reasons to love the new place. Spend your attention focusing not on what you will miss but on how you are going to make it a great experience. When you encounter negatives in the new place, consider them challenges to find silver linings.

See also, Kintsugi https://youtu.be/EBUTQkaSSTY

[Jean]

My dad has, and still owns one.
A boat with more living Space than thé car i live in Can be bought for 2000.- and will last about 10 years with minimal maintenance before the plastic get rotten.
A place to anchor is difficult to find in switzerland. If you Say it is in NZ too, i'll believe you.
It's just that you look in the danger of wasting all your cash on a shitty overpriced house, which is something i don't wish you. So any cheap way to Cope with the impulse would bé good.

[unemployable]

I agree with those who have said you should keep your word. The time for analysis has passed. Alea iacta est.

The house is an asset. You can always sell it. Maybe not at the price you like, but that's all assets.

[Alphaville]

@alphaville - interesting that you have had the experience before and regret moving to a low CoL area.

yep. culture matters to me (a lot). chasing after money alone is avarice.

[thrifty++]

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[Alphaville]

since i’m not privy to previous details, can i ask who you gave your word to, and for what?