Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

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TopHatFox
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Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Sun Nov 18, 2018 6:50 pm

I can compete as part of the dating marketplace better than the next guy (as I’m sure many of you can as well), but will the cis-female bubble ever pop, or will it only keep getting more exaggerated? It seems skewed that to be a “7” as a guy means you get access to “4s,” and vice-versa.

jennypenny
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by jennypenny » Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:13 pm

I have no idea what any of that means. I would be epic failure if I had to reenter the dating market.

In my defense, the last time I went on a first date Ronald Reagan was president.

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Bankai
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by Bankai » Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:26 pm

Can you elaborate what do you mean?

Generally, women are looking to mate "up" while guys usually mate "down". So a 7 guy would likely be able to attract 5-6s. If his ceiling are 4s, then he's probably 5 himself in that market. On the other hand, a 7 woman would usually be interested in 7-8s guys.

Jean
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by Jean » Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:28 pm

There are a many very attractive (in all dimensions, not only booty) women who aren't in the classical dating schemes. You are probably the kind of guy able to compete in those alternative ways. Women in classical dating schemes (apps and nightlife, make it short) are mostly here for the ego boost. Don't let the exceptions fool you.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by hojo-e » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:26 pm

It depends on the criteria you are using in your rating.
Looks?
Good provider?
Confidence?
Charisma/Personality?
Kindness?

A cis-male who is an 8 in kindness and confidence as well as a 9 in situation-appropriate goofiness and silliness gets a big points boost in overall attractiveness because women give looks less weight in the equation. Learn from women and pop the bubble yourself.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:33 pm

Jean wrote:
Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:28 pm
You are probably the kind of guy able to compete in those alternative ways. Women in classical dating schemes (apps and nightlife, make it short) are mostly here for the ego boost. Don't let the exceptions fool you.
Yeah agreed, the apps have the biggest value gap. It’s normal for a 7 guy to get 4s on Okc, Tinder, etc. In-person has a more narrow gap, so the apps are deleted permanently. I prefer indirect day approaches over direct night approaches for sure.

I’ve been experimenting with alternative venues, but I’m still in the early phases. I’m thinking great spots to meet emotionally deep, thin women are “new agey” type conferences, bonus points if they emphasize healthy eating of some sort. They usually have a material price tag as well, so that at least filters for higher class a little bit. I’m not sure how to find these types of workshops in Miami, but they’d make a great hunting ground.

Another good alternative venue might be intentional communities, where people deliberately choose to live together. That filters for people that make intentional choices in their life and who can communicate more in-depth than the average person. Unfortunately, there are 0 intentional communities in all of Miami, so this is out unless if I make one myself.

What are some of the alternative venues you had in mind?

———

My ideal is a woman in her early to late 20’s who is fit, kind, smart, is affectionate/likes sex, and with minimal debt. The archetype would be a wholesome, hippy type with a side of logic and planning. Unfortunately, that seems hard to find, especially the kind piece.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by 2Birds1Stone » Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:05 pm

You have to remember that looks are a small part of attraction.

Hypergamy is real, and perception of "status", "wealth", being a "provider" outweigh simple looks and personality.

Sure looks can help in that department, but having a specific haircut, and not having a dad-bod, are not going to cut it as you get older.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:34 pm

2Birds1Stone wrote:
Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:05 pm
You have to remember that looks are a small part of attraction.

Hypergamy is real, and perception of "status", "wealth", being a "provider" outweigh simple looks and personality.
The provider piece is straightforward to be honest. If I continue down the ERE path and don’t get canned or dismembered, I’ll have a couple hundred thousand and a MA or Phd by the time I’m 30. Now, do I want children or to take on a single mom and child? Not really on the former and definitely not on the latter. Marriage is out of the question too. Life time partner would work though.

I think for the age bracket I’m targeting Provider Game doesn’t work. The younger Millenial and older Gen Z women have their own jobs and want to pay for shit on their own.

That is interesting though. Do the older millenial women and young Gen X women still want men to pay for stuff? (house, kids, etc)

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by 2Birds1Stone » Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:47 pm

wallstreetplayboys.com wrote an excellent post (or even two) on this topic

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by Optimal_Solution » Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:59 am

It's not just the capability to provide. You also need to signal that you can provide. Effective signals are socially contextual. See signal theory.

ERE types generally don't seem to be into signaling, probably because we generally see it as wasteful. However it can be useful as a means to an end when done deliberately.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by theanimal » Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:19 am

Different signals yield different outcomes. The most common is monetary wealth via possessions or status via a corporate job. However, building your own house/furniture, sourcing your own food (gardening/hunting) and so on yields a strong signal as well, albeit likely to a smaller audience

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BRUTE
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by BRUTE » Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:36 am

the only winning move is not to play.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by thegreatvoid » Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:53 am

BRUTE wrote:
Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:36 am
the only winning move is not to play.
Couldn´t have said it better.

I regretfully went to a fancy nightclub , for the first time in a year, on saturday. I was with a group of good-looking tall guys, all with good high paying jobs, and not single one of them was able to hook up with a woman, nor get their phone numbers.
Most of the women were in relationships or married , out with their grlfriends just looking for attention.

I didn´t even approach a single female, because I could see how thirsty all these men were. They would donate both of their kidneys and their arms , if it meant they would get a few minutes of female validation. The price is too high. Plus as a man you´re comepting with men from 18-65 , for a small group of 20-30 year old women .

Until men realize that they´re the catch, nothing is going to change.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by thegreatvoid » Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:56 am

@TopHatFox dangerous territory. This tread is probably going to be deleted , because we´re all just a bunch of white misogynistic men ,... ;-)

Crazylemon
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by Crazylemon » Mon Nov 19, 2018 3:08 am

Given the frequency this sort of thing comes up being gay does seem to have some perks!

Keep that in mind with my views.

In terms of you millennials/old Zs then yeah kept woman isn’t probably the thing but no debt and earning well are still going to be plus points. People don’t want to feel kept but someone earning more who shells out say 2/3 of expenses is going to be perfectly acceptable especially as that will almost certainly still feel like 50/50 to an individual because people are good at selective accounting. So they will say definitely no but will favour a tilt in that direction still

On the thin side personal preference or health thing? Obviously living in the most glorious nation in the world requiring BMI<25 is gonna really lose you options given more than half the population doesn’t qualify and actually more in most areas give there will be a concentration of slim people in more elite towns/universities/cities. Fair enough if a preference but from a health point of view BMI 18.5-20 is no more Heathly than the lower end of overweight and mortality and issues only go up significantly after this see: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/land ... 7/fulltext )

It is also that the age group you are looking at is the most attractive for males who are also older than you so you have more competition. This then changes over time which is why I seem to find men complain about this sort of thing in their 20s but unattached women start talking about how hard it is to find a man in mid to late 30s.

So will the bubble pop? Probably not as it doesn't look like a bubble but a supply demand mismatch to an extent. This is gonna be tough because you want part of a desirable and limited supply but then also want someone who is able to at least accept ERE which is also non-normative.

Theanimal is right though and signalling to the right group is the main thing although can take a lot of time.
Last edited by Crazylemon on Mon Nov 19, 2018 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Mon Nov 19, 2018 3:23 am

thegreatvoid wrote:
Mon Nov 19, 2018 2:56 am
@TopHatFox dangerous territory. This tread is probably going to be deleted , because we´re all just a bunch of white misogynistic men ,... ;-)
Shhhh, Google & Amazon might ban our thread ( ;

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Mon Nov 19, 2018 3:34 am

@CrazyLemon, I agree, signaling to the right group, and living within close proximity to that group, is probably the most optimal strategy.

The question then becomes what groups of fit young women are most compatible with things like bicycles, simple living, saving, etc? And the follow up is where to find them beyond college?

Some guesses from previous experience are: women into permaculture, environmental activism, gardening, hiking, essential oils, and reading books.

Let’s see... what does that translate into? Going to a book club? Problem is a lot of the pretty girls don’t go to meetups because of the ease of dating apps.

————

One thing I’m realizing is that I had an optimal dating pool in Amherst. Young, smart, fit, elite women in a small town with little to do besides go to events within 1 mile and hangout together. All I had to do is go to a student group I like and find an available girl with a compatible personality. Everyone lives in a Single within walking distance and kids or 40 hour work weeks aren’t a thing. Talk about cake.

I don’t know if there are any other social environments that are that easy post-college, but I’d like to find some. I don’t think grad school is the same, since the people are older and all over the place logistically and in their life stages.

Hm, perhaps, then, the goal should be to MOVE to a small, well-educated, fit town by lots of nature. And, by contrast, to avoid large cities with little nature and alarger cross-section of the population.

I think that makes a lot of sense. First move to the place most likely to have what you’re looking for, and then put yourself in the venues most likely to have the type of women who you want and who want you.

I guess what makes this difficult is that because of dumb resume rules, I can’t move again until I have a solid 2 more years on my resume and my MA in Miami, which is the epitome of large city with no nature (still 10X better than NY).

Well, if I’m stuck here for 2 years until my resume and MA clears, then is the best use of my time to travel to different parts of the country during vacations to see where would be a good place to move from here?
Last edited by TopHatFox on Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Crazylemon
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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by Crazylemon » Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:04 am

@THF

Off the top of my head groups I have worked with:
Junior Paediatricians. Most of the single ones I have worked with fit your criteria. Bonus is they work in totally female dominated work environment and so find it relatively hard to find a partner. Cons, hours an probably wanting some sort of stability/children in relatively near future. also YMMV in the US as probably a bit older and money focused (although it isn't a high paying specialty).
Other things I have been too when probability of that sort of thing increases? Open Public/Global Health/Enviro lectures. High concentration of young save the world types. Will hit most of those although travel might be more related to disaster zones than pretty mountains if work in MSF etc. Again showing my specialism and living in the big smoke bias as not sure how much of this sort of thing exists outside Cities with Prestigious Unis...
Dance sessions, ballroom and latin rather than more modern things (might be old world bias). Possibly again failure of my filter been from this PLUS being affiliated with universities.

Your other things look good (although essential oils...)
If they are not at the meet ups you are going to the wrong meet ups. They will not be at a generic meet up because of being hit on too much rather than because of online dating. It has to be something they actually want to go to rather than just a venue where they might meet someone. This I accept isn't very helpful.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by TopHatFox » Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:18 am

@CrazyLemon, junior pediatricians, huh? Never thought of that. I was thinking of hitting up a few public health and social work classes to your second point lol, but a single lecture sounds like a smarter time investment. In the short-term, I’ll focus on those and find what I can.

For the longer term, I’ll need some leads of towns or states to travel to. What are some examples of towns that have:

1. Lots of nature
2. A well-educated, elite population
3. Balanced ratios or more women than men
4. 50-100K population

Some potential states I can think of to research are MA,CO, WA, and OR. Out of those CO stands out the mostly because of its lower taxes. So maybe a small elite town near Denver or Boulder? I guess I’ll just have to travel and see what I think. lol, this is a start:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thrill ... of-america
Last edited by TopHatFox on Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Will the cis-female bubble ever pop?

Post by theanimal » Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:23 am

TopHatFox wrote:
Mon Nov 19, 2018 3:34 am
And the follow up is where to find them beyond college?
Go west, young man.

This is the first I'm hearing of such resume rule. That's BS. Go ahead and move if you don't like where you're living. Life just keeps ticking on...

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