Eliminating Facebook from our lives?

[SustainableHappiness]

I downloaded the Facebook Messenger app and that is now 95% of anything I do on facebook. The exception being groups I am a part of (but these can also now be transferred into Messenger as new ones are created). My trick is to never go to that home screen. If you can do that, I think it is a very functional tool.

[RFS]

...
that said I am trying to find a way to quit it, because it just sucks me in.

I changed my password preferences to never remember the password for FB. Then I changed the keyword to a 12 digit numerical upper/lower case gibberish and logged out.

That REALLY did the trick

I did the same thing. One morning I was reading a depressing post by someone I hadn't seen or talked to in at least 5 years. I looked out the window and the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and I realized I was mentally eating spoonfulls of MSG. This prompted me to change the password to an un-memorizable alpha-numeric code, which was written down and put in a box. Then I put the box in another box, and put it under my bed. So now I must go through a pain-in-the-ass process to log in, which is never worth it and thus eliminates logging in. It's the ultimate way.

I see kids checking their FB, Instagram, Snapchat, etc apps every 8-15 seconds, and it makes me sick. It reminds me of Harrison Bergeron, the Ray Bradbury short story, where the naturally intelligent character has a bell inserted in his mind that rings every 8-15 seconds, so he can never have long form thoughts and becomes stupid.

[Colibri]

I used to have an account when I re-located 6000km from home, to keep in touch with friends and family but after a few years it was more depressing than anything. People where posting stuff for bragging sake and I realized that keeping in touch with people through Facebook was not worth it and a long and meaningful conversation on the phone was what I needed. I deleted my account 5 years ago.

I created a page last year after a community event made me famous for 5 minutes. I wanted people to be able to see and follow my work after the event. This was 10 months ago and now I realize that it is a waste of energy maintaining the page and I can't stand the constant e-mail spaming from Facebook telling me how many "friends" I am missing. I will delete that page today. I have enough.
Open your local newspaper, talk to your neighbhour, visit friends, call your mother. You will connect.

[fips]

Other ways to create barriers is to block the website through ad blockers, your provider or else.

Whatever the barrier, it makes sense to create roadblocks that give you time to reconsider your action when you (or rather your roadblocks make you) catch yourself red-handed on your way to the social media login

Open your local newspaper, talk to your neighbhour, visit friends, call your mother. You will connect.

Way to go.

[jacob]

https://qz.com/1204153/young-americans- ... -facebook/

Correction: A small majority of 12-17 yos no longer use fb.

[Clarice]

I didn't even know before this post that FB was still a thing. I have a 12-year-old who has told me that FB is for old people.

[Isabel]

I like Facebook.
Through Facebook I learned about Mr. Money Mustache and Early Retirement Extreme. Thank you Facebook!

I don´t understand people who are apparently jealous of their friends on Facebook. I like most of the posts of my friends and do not see that they are bragging about anything.

I think if the stuff you see feels not right ask yourself rather what is wrong with "friends" you have rather than blaming Facebook.

I also like various Facebook groups. I am in groups about living zero waste, agricuture etc. I get a lot of useful information that way. Facebook is also good for engaging in some local communities.

Teenagers are now more on Instagram(or Snapchat). But Instagram is Facebook. I think those media are for different purposes and I would not assume that those teenagers will not join facebook later in life.
I think it is good for Facebook not to be second Instagram or Snapchat. (I am on Instagram too...)

[RFS]

I'm reading "Deep Work" by Cal Newport, and he used a farmer's reasoning for not making his own hay to suggest how you should use social media.

The farmer had his #1 goal in mind, maintaining high-quality soil, while running his to-make-or-not-to-make analysis. He found that producing his own hay has benefits, but not enough to justify making it on his own (he buys it instead.) The resources could be better spent elsewhere. This, he says, is how you should approach social media. If it helps your relationship goals, you should use it. Facebook may be useful to a college freshman, but it might not be for someone trying to deepen existing relationships.

Others have already said this, in some fashion, but I thought it was an interesting comparison.

[fingeek]

I deactivated my Facebook account two months ago, and I'm notably happier since. I did have a bit of FOMO, but then tested the assumption "If it's important, it will find its way to me" - And it works (At least I think so... ignorance is bliss). Instead, I make a point of meeting friends and family every few weeks and have Real Live Conversations.

I'd definitely recommend it!

[Seppia]

I have been almost completely off facebook for a good 6 months now, and my internet time has definitely improved in quality.
Non decreased in quantity though, which is a problem. I am still online much more than I believe it's healthy.
Will keep working on it

[sizzlinkola]

I'm reading "Deep Work" by Cal Newport,...

I have read his book too and I wholeheartedly agree. Use Facebook in a way that it gives you the most value of any other options you have at pursuing your goals in life.

For example, when I was in college, Facebook was how I kept up with all the different clubs and events on campus, in addition to meeting new people and developing my relationships. I was also on Instagram and Snapchat. I'm a young professional now and that value is no longer needed in my life. Sure, social media can help you maintain your relationships by keeping you in the loop, but there are much better methods to do that. You don't really need to know what someone is up to all the time.

I only use Facebook for its' Messenger app now, for texting my long-distance SO and friends. Instagram and Snapchat have minimal value for me, such that I can have conversations with select friends based on their posts/stories. However, I find that it can quickly become a rabbit hole of scrolling endlessly, which I think is not worth the having the app.

[FruGal61]

"I see kids checking their FB, Instagram, Snapchat, etc apps every 8-15 seconds, and it makes me sick. It reminds me of Harrison Bergeron, the Ray Bradbury short story, where the naturally intelligent character has a bell inserted in his mind that rings every 8-15 seconds, so he can never have long form thoughts and becomes stupid."

Yes. It is very sad for us older folks who know who Ray Bradbury is to witness this. It is also sad for this older...well, OK, as they say in France: "une femme d'un certain âge" to witness what has happened in the last 10 years with Facebook hijacking our lives and how we communicate. Bien sur, some of us are willing participants. I was reticent for a long time but peer pressure prevailed and about 10 years ago I opened an account. My natural shyness notwithstanding, I started posting and oh boy, people from all over were giving me attention! It was instantaneous! Woweee, so many compliments when I changed my profile photo - my id, superego and yeah, my ego too were getting all sorts of massage! And it was free! I got hooked. Still, I was (and am) a rather private person so I was a bit discreet, was not the type of person who would post what I made for dinner.

Then...after about 9 years....456 friends later, the fleshy white underbelly of Facebook sickness continued to reveal itself. I was really starting to dislike people I would normally LIKE in real life. Their online Facebook persona was a turn off. The daily obligation to "like" and then "love" "Wow" and "sad" became a chore. Resentment set in. And yes, this included family members. The constant posturing, bragging, pontificating, begging for validation by - um, middle aged people. People of a Certain AGE. Like - WELL over 50. The narcissism. DEAR Lord (if there is one) - I wondered - do I KNOW these people? What the hell is GOING ON??? I want my life back before FACEBOOK took over! I want these people back when I only got to think about them, oh, maybe about twice a year and now I'm obligated to spend each and every day acknowledging what they cooked for dinner, their promotion at work and giving them the obligatory "LIKE" so they can puff themselves up? OH MY LORD - this is getting out of control.

And wait, there's more! Do I have to GO ON people's vacations WITH THEM? Each and every day, dutifully approving of their travel photos? Jeezus H. Christ. Yeah, your vacation looks awesome but are you really enjoying "being away from it all" while you're spending your precious time at (exotic location) bragging back to the people back home? Doesn't sound like you are getting much R and R.

Clearly, I HIT THE WALL. I'm done. I am not your cheerleader, person I went to high school with who I haven't seen in, oh 40 years. I do not have 1-2 hours free to "Like" your every thought, your every photo, your political view, your accomplishment, your meal.

Phew, I feel so much better now. I vow to spend more time in nature, breathing, looking at the clouds, smelling the flowers, more time talking - with the human voice - to people, real humans, more time reading books, more time relaxing and not hitting the "like" button. This is MADNESS.

"I am so honored to announce I have been named "blah blah blah blah ". Dear Lord. Is this your 15 minutes of fame? Don't you see how effin' pathetic you ARE? I am SAD.

Facebook is.....(fill in the blank). I think you know I feel.

[FruGal61]

Oops, except it turns out that Harrison Bergeron was a Kurt Vonnegut (another great mind) creation.

[J_]

@Frugal61: thanks,it gives me insight. I have never tried FB and such.Whattsapp is what I use for a small circle of family and dear friends. It is sufficient for me.

[TopHatFox]

Read a book titled Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials.

One of its arguments is that social media has acted as a platform for people, especially young people, to boast their human capital. For example, a toned body, pretty face, exotic vacations, education, new job, etc etc. This has lead to people's self-worth and egos becoming entangled with the number of likes they receive, or don't receive.

Just another reason to avoid the whole fiasco. That said, I think FB, Twitter, and especially Intagram are the main culprits. I have found Meetups to be pretty good for finding like-minded people to spend time with IRL.

[Paula]

The man behind the curtain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQC01qrxVc

[RFS]

@TopHatFox - Snapchat has filters now that edit your face to make you appear more beautiful. Bigger eyes, bigger lips, sharper jawline, exfoliated skin, all that stuff. You can see exactly who viewed your story (a batch of your clips that you curate for the public), too. I see students make stories that are 90% edited selfies, then check their view number constantly. It must be indescribably harmful for a developing brain.

I really like this Bo Burnham bit on social media. Ironic, given that he first blew up on YouTube.

"I was born in 1990 and I was sort of raised in America when it was a cult of self-expression, and I was just taught, you know: express myself and have things to say and everyone will care about them. And I think everyone was taught that, and most of us found out that no one gives a shit what we think...They say it’s the ‘me’ generation. It’s not. The arrogance is taught or it was cultivated. It’s self-conscious. That’s what it is, it’s conscious of self.

Social media is just the market’s answer to a generation that demanded to perform, so the market said “Here, perform everything, to each other, all the time for no other reason.” It’s prison, it’s horrific. It’s performer and audience melded together. What do we want more than to lie in bed at the end of the day and just watch our lives as a satisfied audience member? I know very little about anything, but I do know this: that if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it."

[thrifty++]

Facebook doesnt create any issues for me. I am in it because there are some useful chat forums I have joined through it and also to keep in touch with family and friends. I adjust my privacy settings to increase privacy when I want it. I also hardly post anything myself as I would rather people dont know what I am doing and give no shits about what other people think of me - no desire to brag. I also enjoy some of the random and interesting things that come up in my news feed. I often discover about lots of events I am interested in as well as invites through it. I ignore the bragging and often when I get annoyed with people being narcissistic I take the piss. Like when I get sick of someone posting selfies I will put a funny photo underneath it. Food selfies bug me more so when people do that I sometimes post something disgusting underneath the food. Overall I find it useful and it doesnt get me down as I dont care about the stuff that gets others down.

[Kriegsspiel]

I haven't used FB in a few years, but I haven't deleted my profile. Unless something changed, I believe when attention whor... people post up all the pictures they're taking, they are able to tag people in them. I don't use my real name on my profile, so my hope is that they're going to tag my pseudonym, instead of thinking "oh, he doesn't have a profile, I'll just write in his real name so that he can bask in the glow of having his likeness attract all this delicious, gooey attention!"

[7Wannabe5]

I know very little about anything, but I do know this: that if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it."

"First let's go see a football game. A professional football game," Frances said, because she knew Michael loved to watch them. "The Giants are playing. And it'll be nice to be outside all day today and get hungry and later we'll go down to Cavanagh's and get a steak as big as a blacksmith's apron, with a bottle of wine, and after that, there's a new French picture at the Filmarte that everybody says... Say, are you listening to me?"

"Sure," he said. He took his eyes off the hatless girl with the dark hair, cut dancer-style, like a helmet, who was walking past him with the self-conscious strength and grace dancers have. She was walking without a coat and she looked very solid and strong and her belly was flat, like a boy's, under her skirt, and her hips swung boldly because she was a dancer and also because she knew Michael was looking at her. She smiled a little to herself as she went past and Michael noticed all these things before he looked back at his wife. "Sure," he said, "we're going to watch the Giants and we're going to eat steak and we're going to see a French picture. How do you like that?"
-"The Girls in Their Summer Dresses"- Irwin Shaw (1939)

The internet is the city.