Suicide

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tzxn3
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Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:35 pm

Re: Suicide

Post by tzxn3 »

I'm actually younger than most of the people here.
The pressure to do things doesn't only come from myself.

Dragline
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:50 am

Re: Suicide

Post by Dragline »

jennypenny wrote:You don't have to put pressure on yourself to 'do' anything. I'm starting to think we focus on that a bit too much around here. Everyone seems to have grand plans--which is all well and good--but I don't think they're necessary. They are also an affliction of the young, which age does cure.
My Back Pages becomes everybody's theme song eventually. We never have everything figured out -- and that's ok. Grand plans aside, you can't ever really know what the future may bring until you get there.

"Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr1bz877zE0

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jennypenny
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Location: Stepford USA

Re: Suicide

Post by jennypenny »

tzxn3 wrote:I'm actually younger than most of the people here.The pressure to do things doesn't only come from myself.
That's what I was getting at. Sometimes, there can be so much pressure put on younger people. It can come from seemingly innocuous statements like "What do you want to be when you grow up?", but it can also be more direct with questions like "What are you going to do with your life?", as if your life was a commodity to be optimized and spent judiciously.

I cringe when I hear people telling high school and college kids to "Make your mark!" I understand the idea that they are trying to convey, but I think it puts unrealistic expectations on people (and might nudge people to make their mark in a negative way if they fail to accomplish it in a positive way). It also sets up a society where someone who goes the ERE route might be accused to wasting their life or education.

I guess my point is that you shouldn't feel compelled to have plans or goals right now, or that you're somehow lacking if you don't. It's not a flaw! Talk to someone who can help you change your expectations and compartmentalize others' expectations of you.
Last edited by jennypenny on Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Seneca
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Re: Suicide

Post by Seneca »

You need to get checked out by a good doctor. This site/lifestyle tends to really bash modern medicine, but something as simple as a screwed up thyroid can make a person talk like you are.

On the level with what Jenny is discussing, there can be a lot of stress with the lifestyle this site promotes. Are there things you want to do but won't due to worries over saving, the environment, your political philosophy whatever? (No need to answer us) Life doesn't have to have "meaning" to be valuable and great.

If you are self medicating with drugs like booze or pot please stop, it only makes things worse.

Scott 2
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Re: Suicide

Post by Scott 2 »

From what I've seen, people considering suicide typically have a lot more going for them than they realize, but are temporarily blind to it. This can be the result of a self-reinforcing chemical imbalance. Medication can help break the cycle. Once broken, lifestyle changes can prevent it from re-appearing and enable weaning off of the medication.

The feeling is much more common than I ever expected as a young adult. I'd say I know more people that have medicated for it, than not. I don't think any of them regret the choice to work through it.

I've been told by one of them that this piece of art captures the feeling well:

http://robtpatrick.wordpress.com/2010/0 ... ord-still/

Ego is right - the act itself is devastating to those who are left behind.

lilacorchid
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Location: Canada

Re: Suicide

Post by lilacorchid »

jennypenny wrote:
tzxn3 wrote:I'm actually younger than most of the people here.The pressure to do things doesn't only come from myself.
That's what I was getting at. Sometimes, there can be so much pressure put on younger people. It can come from seemingly innocuous statements like "What do you want to be when you grow up?", but it can also be more direct with questions like "What are you going to do with your life?", as if your life was a commodity to be optimized and spent judiciously.
Too true. I picked my highschool major at 14 and took that career path right through college. I was the first to go to college in my family and I still remember my uncle telling me I better not fail! And yet, by the time I was 25 I was not using my education anymore.

I'm not sure why you are thinking about suicide. I thought about it a lot during my teens and early twenties and I nearly gave in a few times. There are people out there who will help you if you ask and you are worthy of asking for it, even if you don't believe it right now. There is nothing wrong with taking medication if you need it, be it for depression or an underlying condition like hypothyroidism that can make you feel depressed if that is why you feel this way. Also, if it's mild depression, therapy has been shown to be just as good as medication.

This too will pass. Storms do not last forever. You just have to hang on.

jacob
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Re: Suicide

Post by jacob »

viewtopic.php?t=1222

Have you read this thread? Maybe it's relevant?

leeholsen
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Re: Suicide

Post by leeholsen »

tzxn3 wrote:
llorona wrote:Why are you asking? What's the context?
I sometimes consider whether it would be a good idea. Much of my existence up to this point has been an unpleasant experience and I have little reason to believe things will improve.
my suggestion would be to find people or an organization that you can contribute time or money that would give you a feeling of accomplishment and seek out all sorts of things until you find something or somethings that you find you'd like to do all day, every day.

for instance, i give to a bunch of vet organizations; but one; homes for our troops; builds handicapped houses for vets that lost their legs; but you can also volunteer your time to help the initial build of the house and/or go to the key ceremony when the vet is given his house or you might start giving to the 700 club and watching that show; your problems will seem like nothing after seeing that vet or some 3rd world family being help by the 700 club.

eventually, you'll find what you like to do.

theanimal
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Re: Suicide

Post by theanimal »

Jack Kerouac had a different view on the topic of death and life than most. I encourage you to read this: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/ ... -eternity/

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Ego
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Re: Suicide

Post by Ego »

tzxn3 wrote:I'm actually younger than most of the people here.
The pressure to do things doesn't only come from myself.
What are you pressured to do and who is applying the pressure?

leeholsen
Posts: 325
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:38 pm

Re: Suicide

Post by leeholsen »

from another blog i visit often: "before you commit suicide"

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2 ... icide.html

he gives a little bit of a satirical edge, but his logic is sound.

Riggerjack
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Re: Suicide

Post by Riggerjack »

This got me thinking, not always a good thing ;-). Jacob, if I'm overly offensive feel free to delete this. This is in no way an endorsement of suicide, I'm simply looking at the practical details.

I've known half a dozen drug related suicides/overdoses, several high speed single vehicle collisions, and 2 with firearms. One "successful", one not.

Suicide seems simple, but trust me, this is something you DO NOT want to fcuk up.

"Means matter" is an anti-gun group that interviewed suicide survivors, and on average, these folks spent less than 5 minutes contemplating suicide before attempting it. Firearms suicide rates have a high fatality rate. From this, they conclude that a world without guns would be safer (fewer suicides) . From the same data, I conclude that anyone impulsive enough to attempt suicide with less than 5 minutes planning is likely to fail.

Think about that for a minute. Whatever your reasons for thinking of suicide, a failed attempt will not make anything better.

Drug overdoses, despite the Marilyn Monroe Mythology, are not pretty. It is intentionally poisoning yourself, hoping that you'll be high enough not to care. From external appearances, this is not the case. Unsuccessful attempts can lead to a host of problems from brain damage to organ failure.

Firearms. Randal used a rifle, in a moving car. There was nothing good to say about that. David used a .45 under the chin, with too vertical a trajectory. Lots of facial damage, one eye gone, and a lot of regret.

Hanging, when done right, involves breaking neck vertebrae, done wrong is a slow strangulation. From my own experiences with beheading chickens, I'd say that a severe spinal injury is not as quick and painless as it is portrayed.

High speed impact. Whether with a vehicle or a fall. I've never seen either, but heard too many stories of people changing their minds, and miraculous impact survival stories. I just shudder thinking that this is the best plan someone can come up with.

When I was a teen, I gave suicide some serious thought. Most folks I know did as well, at one point or another. Having these thoughts is not abnormal, acting on them is. Unfortunately, acting unsuccessfully isn't as abnormal as is commonly thought.

If you haven't found a painless method with contingencies for the unexpected, you haven't thought this through enough.

Tyler9000
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Re: Suicide

Post by Tyler9000 »

tzxn3 wrote: I sometimes consider whether it would be a good idea. Much of my existence up to this point has been an unpleasant experience and I have little reason to believe things will improve.
Hi tzxn3.

I took some time to read many of your previous posts on the forum, and I can tell you've been struggling for a while. However, you're clearly not broken -- you just haven't yet found the right stopgaps to get back on the right track. Whatever stressful combination of school, debt, parents, and everything else life may be throwing at you, I am confident you have the ability to overcome it.

If I were to recommend a personal short list to try to help, it would be: 1) treat the body and mind by finding a doctor who knows how to help you; 2) treat the soul by seeking religion that speaks to you; and 3) treat the heart with drastic, positive action to reclaim control of your own life from anyone or anything you feel stands in your way. And don't give up - when any of those steps doesn't help, find a new doctor/church/action until it does. Life is your greatest gift -- never relinquish it without a serious fight.

The strongest people I know were not born that way -- overcoming great adversity ultimately made them what they are today. Think of how many people your story will inspire in the future, and get started today on the next chapter.

(Edited for brevity)

Felix
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Re: Suicide

Post by Felix »

If you think about suicide, call a local suicide hotline before you do something irreversible. Musing about these things philosophically is one thing, it's another when you are affected personally and consider it. Usually ideas of escape from suffering come into this and it is usually a sign of severe depression - which can be treated. In these cases, suicide is not a reasonable consideration, but actually a symptom of the disease and a sign to seek help. It's part of the disease to believe that there is no help possible and no way out. Don't be fooled.

You feel down and think there is no way out, you see nothing for you in the future, but that is the depression talking. Your judgement is clouded by a negative perspective and you have little access to positive feelings at the moment. You are simply looking at the world through an overly narrow lens in that state of mind, naturally, and that made you overemphasize bad things and doesn't let you see good things, yet, which is normal in a depressive state.

The world is filled with people who led great lives after very long (but still temporary) bouts of severe depression. They would have had problems believing it in that negative state, either. Don't cut yourself short. Sometimes the best thing about the past is that it is over and the future, thankfully in that case, is not the past.

Since a state of depression also makes one refrain from seeking help, getting a copy of a good practical book on the subject like "Feeling good" by David Burns is often a good low-stress start in the right direction.

EdithKeeler
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Re: Suicide

Post by EdithKeeler »

tzxn3 wrote:I'm actually younger than most of the people here.
The pressure to do things doesn't only come from myself.
I hope you have someone to talk to.

I half-assedly tried to commit suicide a couple of years ago, during a time when I was physically and mentally worn down to a nub. I put my dogs in the kennel (because I didn't want anything bad to happen to them), came home and cleaned the house (because, you know, even though I'd be dead, I didn't want anyone commenting on my poor housekeeping), and then went into the garage, sealed everything up, started the car and prepared to go.

For about a minute and a half.

Then I was like "What the fuck am I doing?" and went in looked up the nearest boobyhatch, and checked in for week, where I slept about 15 hours a day, met some interesting people and some really scary people, and got my stuff in perspective a little bit.

I also talked to a lot of people in there who had tried to or come close to trying to commit suicide. We were sitting around one day, telling our suicide stories, and I've never laughed so hard in my life. One guy was going to throw himself in front of a train... but then he realized the train was probably going too slowly. One woman booked herself on a cruise intending to throw herself off, but she ended up having hot sex with a fellow passenger the first night and decided against it.

I think a person has the right to kill themself if they want to. But I think you have an obligation to yourself to make sure you're actually in your right mind when you do it, if that makes sense. I have a strong suspicion that most people who kill themselves (absent a terminal disease) would probably actually regret it the next day. because the people who are unsuccessful seem genuinely happy they didn't die.

Depression SUCKS. I am still depressed, and i'm certain that to some extent I always will be. It's a chemical imbalance, and I don't like the meds. But consciously knowing I'm depressed helps, because for years I denied it. But I figured out that there is no harm in asking for help. If you broke your leg you'd go to the ER and no one would judge you. Getting some help with your mental health is exactly the same.

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