"Make Your Own [Social and Psychological] Bubble in 10 Easy Steps"

jzt83 · Post by **jzt83** » Sat May 25, 2013 9:37 am

Wow. This article about creating your own social bubble to insulate yourself from much of society really resonates with me in spite of the fact that it was written by an apparently staunch economic libertarian. I am in the process of creating my own social bubble, as I just can't stand most of society.
"Someone on Twitter asked for advice on how to create a Beautiful Bubble. Perhaps he was teasing me, but it's a good question. Here's my 10 Step Program:
1. Amicably divorce your society. Don't get angry at the strangers who surround you, just accept the fact that you're not right for each other.
2. Stop paying attention to things that aggravate you unless (a) they concretely affect your life AND (b) you can realistically do something about them. Start by ceasing to follow national and world news.
3. Pay less frequent attention to things that aggravate you even if they do concretely affect your life and you can realistically do something about them. For example, if you check your email twenty times a day and find the experience frustrating, try cutting back to two or three times a day. If you need to know about world politics, read history books, not newspaper articles.
4. Emotionally distance yourself from people you personally know who aggravate you. Don't purge anyone - that causes more trouble than it saves. Just accept the fact that you aren't going to change them.
5. Abandon your First World Problems mentality. Consciously compare your income to Haitian poverty, your health status to Locked-In Syndrome, your sorrow to that of parent who has lost a child. As Tsunami Bomb tells us, "Be grateful that you have a brain for thinking/

And legs to take you places." For guidance, repeatedly read Epicurus' Letter to Menoeceus and Julian Simon's Good Mood.
6. Now that you have emptied your life of frustration, you are ready to fill it with joy. Start doing things that make you happy even - nay, especially - if most people in your ex-society disrespect them. Spend $1 a day to filter out annoying advertising and intrusion.
7. Actively try to make more friends with people who share your likes. In the Internet age, this is shockingly easy. Don't try to make more friends who share your dislikes. You should build friendship on common passions, not joint contempt.
8. Find a career you really enjoy. Ask yourself, "Will I take daily pride in this work?" and "Are the kind of people I want to befriend statistically over-represented in this line of work?" If you have to signal for years to get this job, sigh, signal, and see Step 5.
9. If you're single, stop dating outside of your sub-sub-culture. Happy relationships are based on shared values and mutual admiration so intense that outsiders laugh. Let them laugh.
10. Now that your own life is in order, you are emotionally ready to quixotically visit your ex-society. Maybe you want to publicly argue for open borders, abolition of the minimum wage, or pacifism. Go for it. Bend over backwards to be friendly. Take pride in your quixotic quest. Then go home to your Beautiful Bubble and relax.
Coda: Many perpetually aggravated people tell me they "just can't" adopt my advice. Perhaps they're right to think that they can't follow my advice 100%. But so what? Anyone can adopt my advice at the margin. Why not spend one extra hour a day in your Bubble and see what happens?"

econlog.econlib.org/archives/2013/04/make_your_own_b.html#

jzt83 · Post by **jzt83** » Sat May 25, 2013 2:01 pm

Cliff notes version: Focus strongly on getting what you want, ignore most of the noise.

Post by **jacob** » Sat May 25, 2013 8:36 pm

I think those are all wise actions with the emphasis on wisdom. Item (2) is really the key to this list. I think the understanding of what can be changed and what can't, that is, knowing the exact boundaries of your locus of control, with the resulting appropriate personal behavior comes with maturity.

m741 · Post by **m741** » Sat May 25, 2013 11:19 pm

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Also, ignoring The News is key. You can get all the news you need by skimming 30 seconds of headlines every day.
I see so little news that I get a nagging feeling I've missed something huge. Sometimes I worry that there was another 9/11 a few days ago and I just haven't heard about it yet, and have to check CNN.com.

BeyondtheWrap · Post by **BeyondtheWrap** » Sun May 26, 2013 12:09 am

Wouldn't #5 work against the goal of keeping yourself in a bubble?

aussierogue · Post by **aussierogue** » Sun May 26, 2013 12:19 am

Most of the above come under a basic Buddhist idea of 'detachment'. Attachment to things, ideas, poeples = suffering. Doesn't mean living in a lonely bubble. On the contrary relationships become more powerful when they are based on healthy grounds.

jennypenny · Post by **jennypenny** » Sun May 26, 2013 3:04 am

I like number 7 and I'm trying to adopt that attitude. For a long time I defined myself by everything I wasn't. Now I try and focus on what I am and find people with similar goals. It feels much healthier.

Ego · Post by **Ego** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:01 am

That's a great list!
With regard to:

4. Emotionally distance yourself from people you personally know who aggravate you. Don't purge anyone - that causes more trouble than it saves. Just accept the fact that you aren't going to change them.
I have to disagree about the purge. It can be far more troublesome to keep certain people in ones life, even at a distance, than it is to endure the momentary discomfort of a purge. The purge itself can be freeing. That said, there are some who are just a PITA who do not justify the trouble of a purge.

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:15 pm

I like it!
The list has a Stoic feel to it, it could easily have come from a Stoic sage.
I'm not sure if I'm down with #8, though. You don't have to necessarily have to build a -career- to find meaning in the work you do, whatever that work may be. It's all the crap associated with building a career that can often bring unhappiness.

BPA · Post by **BPA** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:34 pm

I smiled at "perpetually aggravated." I guess that's me. I'm an activist and an extrovert, so I was finding that a lot of the advice would work great for me some of the time, but not most of it. In fact, being frugal and working part-time has allowed me to participate more fully in those activities. When I do FI, I will participate even more.
These are good things for me to keep in mind when I have down time though.
And I agree with Ego: sometimes it's best to purge depending on how serious the problems are with the person who is causing stress. I have a family member with what seems to be Borderline Personality Disorder. The over the top requiring law enforcement drama doesn't stop. Cutting her out of my life was one of the best things I could do for my own happiness.

djc · Post by **djc** » Sun May 26, 2013 6:23 pm

I forwarded a link to this page to family and friends. Wonderful.
djc