Deferral of Instant Gratification

jennypenny · Post by **jennypenny** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:10 pm

From Darwin's Money...

http://www.darwinsmoney.com/how-to-be-successful/
I would also add not buying something immediately to solve a problem.

Ego · Post by **Ego** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:29 pm

Obesity, indebtedness, violence, addiction, infidelity, greed... are all a failure to delay gratification (impulse control).
We were just talking about this regarding the Patreaus scandal. He is well know for his discipline and icy self-control. Ego depletion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion He used up so much of his willpower maintaining himself in his work that he depleted his ability to do so in his personal life.

Dragline · Post by **Dragline** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:43 am

The famous Stanford "marshmallow" experiment, which measured young children's abilities to delay gratification, was followed up by tracking the children as they grew up and became adults. The ones who were better able to delay gratification generally had more successful lives, at least in terms of academic achievement, economic livelihood and avoiding addictions.

mikeBOS · Post by **mikeBOS** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 6:34 am

I don't know if you caught the "update" to the marshmallow experiment that shows ability to delay gratification may have more to do with your environment than your internal impulse control. Being in a stable environment where expectations are met appears to lead to a greater ability to delay gratification than being in an unstable environment. Presumed lesson for parents; changing the rules on a kid mid-stream, or leaving an expectation or promise unfulfilled could have dire long-term consequences

It makes sense that if you don't trust that the future payback will actually come, then you may as well take what you can when you can.

DutchGirl · Post by **DutchGirl** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:14 am

Thanks, mikeBOS, that is really interesting! Of course you eat the one marshmallow NOW if you know that the promise of more marshmallows in the future is probably a fake promise. If the future's that insecure, of course you take what you can get, now.

jennypenny · Post by **jennypenny** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:13 pm

But doesn't that beg the question...if you believe your needs will always be met, don't you end up as an adult who's overly optimistic about the future? Isn't that the conundrum we're in now--that people assume something will come along to fix the big problems (peak oil, climate, taxes, pensions, etc.)?

Ego · Post by **Ego** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:28 pm

Is it optimism or is it fatalism? Do people assume others will come along to fix the problem for them or do they believe that no matter what THEY do, they have no influence over peak oil, climate change, tax policy, pensions, their personal finances, their personal health,...?
Big industries are the real polluters and they have political pull so why try to stop pollution? The Bilderburgs control the system so why worry about tax policy or pensions? The banks, credit card companies, and employers control my money so why worry about finances? My DNA determines my health so why try to eat healthy or exercise?
Most of the people I meet believe solutions to big problems - and even little ones - are beyond their control or influence.
Why is this? Why do most people believe they cannot control or influence things that they actually can control or influence? Have they been trained from childhood to think this way? Is it easier to throw up my hands in surrender if I believe an all-powerful being above me has a greater plan that I could not possibly control or understand?
To be safe I err on the side of believing I have control. Even for things that may seem absolutely absurd to others. I control me. Maybe I damage my ego every once in a while... but this default setting causes me to try when I'm unsure rather than giving up or giving in.