Avoidant personality disorder

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Stahlmann
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Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Stahlmann »

It seems that proper ERE takes a lot of grit. However, even smarter group of more mature ERErs tend to avoid something.

So... Have you ever met somebody with such problem (ekm... this isn't gonna be difficult)? Do you consider yourself as person who suffer with this problem (with help of self arm chair psychology)?

ertyu
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by ertyu »

yep. i have totally met myself. i will do everything! ... later. Let's get some ice cream now, and we start being properly frugal with food "tomorrow." I'm an absolute idiot that way

Alphaville
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Alphaville »

i suspect a lot of people who pursue ERE are trying to avoid the social aspect of work.

i don’t mind work. i mind people... in groups. behaving normally. they irritate me.

daylen
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by daylen »

Avoid personality disorders :)

CS
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by CS »

Even being here shows a streak of willingness to buck the accepted average, which can be take by many as anti-social.

RooBadley
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by RooBadley »

Alphaville wrote:
Sun Sep 06, 2020 12:50 pm

i don’t mind work. i mind people... in groups. behaving normally. they irritate me.
Ha. That's one of my 'elevator thoughts'. How did you snatch that?

7Wannabe5
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I don’t mind work or people; it’s the routine and far too many rigidly assigned hours that kills me.

Alphaville
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Alphaville »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Mon Sep 07, 2020 9:52 am
I don’t mind work or people; it’s the routine and far too many rigidly assigned hours that kills me.
lucky! i can never bond via normal rituals (potlucks, office birthday cards, outings, etc.). i’m too weird for some people. at the same time, most people bore me fast.

anyway, re: avoiding routine: how is your search for a (virtual or otherwise) intern/assistant/automator/etc. proceeding?

7Wannabe5
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Alphaville:

I’m not in business creation mode at the moment.
I might have to start a new journal thread.

Alphaville
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Alphaville »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Mon Sep 07, 2020 10:19 am
I’m not in business creation mode at the moment.
I might have to start a new journal thread.
im getting my space ready for post-covid entrepreneurship (it’s been such a detour to reorganize everything). do you sense any trends/demand in some direction? i’m currently positioned well with demand for online stuff and have been making money off past investments, but i think that as soon as we have a vaccine, the floodgates will open in the opposite direction and run to “the real.” while we’re more used to online than ever, i think we’re also more fed up.

looking forward to reading your updates, they’re always interesting.

Tyler9000
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Tyler9000 »

Alphaville wrote:
Sun Sep 06, 2020 12:50 pm
i suspect a lot of people who pursue ERE are trying to avoid the social aspect of work.
I'm the opposite. I enjoy being around people, but have a very low tolerance for responsibilities that I don't enjoy. So I'm perfectly happy to avoid paid work but show up at happy hour.

Alphaville
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Alphaville »

Tyler9000 wrote:
Mon Sep 07, 2020 10:41 am
I'm the opposite. I enjoy being around people, but have a very low tolerance for responsibilities that I don't enjoy. So I'm perfectly happy to avoid paid work but show up at happy hour.
haha! nice

are you already retired? if so, do you do other socially engaged stuff like volunteering, etc?

Tyler9000
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Tyler9000 »

I re-retired in July, but Covid has effectively shut down any social plans I'd normally be looking at. It's tough, but I'm doing the best I can and looking forward to when things loosen up a bit.

wolf
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by wolf »

at work if I'm around people or work with them to a common goal, aka project, I don't mind them at all. But they must be competent, disciplined, effective, efficient, engaged, focused, creative, professional etc. What I mind though is small talking about minor issues, which could be solved instantly, if they just would do/solve it.

RooBadley
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by RooBadley »

My inner workings lean towards Schizoid and Avoidant, but there's also INTJ and close associations with what Aspies self-report.
Picking every little thing out of the rumination crockpot and holding it up to determine disordered or not.
They define things as disordered largely because it deviates from the expectations of the culture, but on the other hand it's no revelation among this crowd that our culture is laughably dysfunctional wrt ERE.
It's funny that putting together web of goals puzzle pieces and cultivating diligence that is naturally resulting in FI is, for me, kind of shaded or somehow intertwined with 'disordered'.

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Stahlmann
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Stahlmann »

In the world surrounding work I didn't like and avoided (up to the point of creating some problems in my life):
- responsibility → not knowing what exactly is needed for this moment/part of project
- I tend to ask many questions or not ask any
- I felt disliked among peers
- not being able to live with fellow extroverts
- don't like locker's atmosphere
- can't leave work in the workplace

If there's some work with established route of doing tasks and involving minimal number of people, please let me know.
Yea, I read that schizoid tends to not achieve much in life, but "muh ERE freedom" is so tempting

Alphaville
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Alphaville »

RooBadley wrote:
Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:49 am
They define things as disordered largely because it deviates from the expectations of the culture, but on the other hand it's no revelation among this crowd that our culture is laughably dysfunctional wrt ERE.
wrt all kinds of things, not just ERE. is it “the wisdom of crowds,” or is it lemming behavior? i can’t tell the difference :lol:

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Lemur
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by Lemur »

The 9-5 corporate office life is crucial for developing all sorts of personality disorders....I mean 'developing your character' :D .

jacob
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

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BookLoverL
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Re: Avoidant personality disorder

Post by BookLoverL »

Avoidant personality disorder is a diagnosable disorder, but not one that I think I have.

I do think that the current set-up of the world with 9-5 as the standard option makes a lot of people's mental health significantly worse. Still, there is also a distinction to be made between being neuroatypical (e.g. autism, ADHD) and being mentally ill (e.g. depression, anxiety). The first group mainly encounters the problems by means of society not being set up right for them, and can otherwise live a plenty satisfying life. The second group tends to actively make life worse even when everyone around you is understanding, and for those seeking treatment of some sort can be very helpful. There's some overlap between the two groups, of course.

I think I seem to have less need to be around people than average, but I'm not sure if this is just due to growing up in an isolated rural area with few friends. I definitely get lonely.

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