May-December Relationships, In-Vitro Fertilization, Freezing Eggs, and Other Considerations
Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 11:47 am
I am 32 year old male and have never been really appreciated by women my own age or younger. I have always been greater than the sum of my superficial parts.
I am in conversation with a woman who is 45 years of age, never engaged, never married, no children. She is three inches taller than me (six feet tall!), beautiful, has a rocking body, is a PhD, and is gainfully employed. This as a package is extremely attractive to me because I crave the Alpha Female. Having the Alpha Female for its own sake, and also having her as the mother of my child.
She is African-American and those women have a way of aging most gracefully, at least in terms of looks. Grey hair won’t bother me because that’s hot in a Claire Huxtable kind of way. I understand that May-December relationships frequently fail because the younger partner becomes disinterested in the older partner sexually. She is absolutely stunning. In fact, I am honest with myself in that were she still only 32, I would be invisible to her. As Benjamin Franklin says, older women are so grateful. It also seems to be the case that she has been sufficiently burned and broken to the point that is open to a different type of man than the ones she is used to, and will be amenable to lifestyle design changes for the sake of achieving higher goals. Maybe not enough to live with me in an RV in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. But at least in a manner that is not anti-ERE and does not force me to live the horrors being endured by @Suo and @Augustus.
She tells me the women in her family are highly fertile and she has had to take caution not to have had any accidents to this point, although she tells me she has been mostly celibate as a prototypical church lady. And this is fine by me, because my experience with church ladies is that they make you work for it, but when they finally let loose they really let loose.
Despite her family history, her age means time is limited. I have had so much on my plate that I want to accomplish before starting a family. Financial independence, greater cultivation of the self, becoming a better, more capable, more powerful human being, climbing the Wheaton scale and gathering independence from the system. Wife and child tethers one to the system. It is all so terrifying to me as it is intensely erotic.
I am reading what standard materials are available from a Google search. Considerations:
-I want a strong, tall, healthy, intelligent child. Does her age compromise her ability to have such children, despite her array of above-average to far-above-average attributes? Can this risk be mitigated by utilizing in vitro fertilization instead of a natural conception?
-Would it be better to discuss the possibility of freezing her eggs, and starting pregnancy at a later date, when we both feel more ready? This would be an additional cost, and as I understand it, there is no guarantee of success. Parenthood is taxing and I don’t want to be less of the man I can become because I am unable to focus the requisite time and energy on non-parenthood related goals and systems.
-Am I being impatient? I understand if I am not ready, I can always just wait to meet a partner in several years. But I have been deferring gratification for so long now. I am very lonely, and by having something rock solid in my life, I can stop wasting time on bad dates. I am not one for polyamory either. On one hand I am not the Casanova I would like to be, and on the other hand I have too much pity for women to use them like objects. Breaking hearts just ain’t my game.
I have long thought that, as Aristotle instructed, no man should marry before 35. Of course, I won’t have 17-year-olds to get married to who will unquestionably obey the will of the paterfamilias. This is the world we live in now.
I have lain with older married women in the backseat of my car tucked away behind a Barnes and Noble. They tell me their husbands are monsters who purchased them and now they resent being trophy wives, or women who were forced to marry for a green card. I have experienced much, maybe too much, and am now like one of Guy de Maupassant’s cynical young Frenchmen. If I wait until I am older, and my wealth becomes a factor in attracting a mate, it will be as @Sclass says, my wife will cheat on me with younger men, and she will take the wealth I fought so hard for after growing up poor. And I am fearful of that bitch Karma.
Perhaps it is suboptimal that she is older. But as the younger man I will have the power, it is she that will be insecure. In my experience, it is only the man who can have the power and rule benevolently like a Nebuchadnezzar. When the woman takes power, she begins to have contempt for the man, and becomes sadistic. Just my experience. It is the man who must rule benevolently because he is capable of being magnanimous.
@Jennypenny, @Ego, @Seppia, what advice do you have as ones who have gone all-in? I am simultaneously afraid of prematurely committing, as I am of analysis paralysis to the point of not having anyone near me, living a life apart. So far choosing the latter has built a wall of sorrow and madness.
I am in conversation with a woman who is 45 years of age, never engaged, never married, no children. She is three inches taller than me (six feet tall!), beautiful, has a rocking body, is a PhD, and is gainfully employed. This as a package is extremely attractive to me because I crave the Alpha Female. Having the Alpha Female for its own sake, and also having her as the mother of my child.
She is African-American and those women have a way of aging most gracefully, at least in terms of looks. Grey hair won’t bother me because that’s hot in a Claire Huxtable kind of way. I understand that May-December relationships frequently fail because the younger partner becomes disinterested in the older partner sexually. She is absolutely stunning. In fact, I am honest with myself in that were she still only 32, I would be invisible to her. As Benjamin Franklin says, older women are so grateful. It also seems to be the case that she has been sufficiently burned and broken to the point that is open to a different type of man than the ones she is used to, and will be amenable to lifestyle design changes for the sake of achieving higher goals. Maybe not enough to live with me in an RV in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. But at least in a manner that is not anti-ERE and does not force me to live the horrors being endured by @Suo and @Augustus.
She tells me the women in her family are highly fertile and she has had to take caution not to have had any accidents to this point, although she tells me she has been mostly celibate as a prototypical church lady. And this is fine by me, because my experience with church ladies is that they make you work for it, but when they finally let loose they really let loose.
Despite her family history, her age means time is limited. I have had so much on my plate that I want to accomplish before starting a family. Financial independence, greater cultivation of the self, becoming a better, more capable, more powerful human being, climbing the Wheaton scale and gathering independence from the system. Wife and child tethers one to the system. It is all so terrifying to me as it is intensely erotic.
I am reading what standard materials are available from a Google search. Considerations:
-I want a strong, tall, healthy, intelligent child. Does her age compromise her ability to have such children, despite her array of above-average to far-above-average attributes? Can this risk be mitigated by utilizing in vitro fertilization instead of a natural conception?
-Would it be better to discuss the possibility of freezing her eggs, and starting pregnancy at a later date, when we both feel more ready? This would be an additional cost, and as I understand it, there is no guarantee of success. Parenthood is taxing and I don’t want to be less of the man I can become because I am unable to focus the requisite time and energy on non-parenthood related goals and systems.
-Am I being impatient? I understand if I am not ready, I can always just wait to meet a partner in several years. But I have been deferring gratification for so long now. I am very lonely, and by having something rock solid in my life, I can stop wasting time on bad dates. I am not one for polyamory either. On one hand I am not the Casanova I would like to be, and on the other hand I have too much pity for women to use them like objects. Breaking hearts just ain’t my game.
I have long thought that, as Aristotle instructed, no man should marry before 35. Of course, I won’t have 17-year-olds to get married to who will unquestionably obey the will of the paterfamilias. This is the world we live in now.
I have lain with older married women in the backseat of my car tucked away behind a Barnes and Noble. They tell me their husbands are monsters who purchased them and now they resent being trophy wives, or women who were forced to marry for a green card. I have experienced much, maybe too much, and am now like one of Guy de Maupassant’s cynical young Frenchmen. If I wait until I am older, and my wealth becomes a factor in attracting a mate, it will be as @Sclass says, my wife will cheat on me with younger men, and she will take the wealth I fought so hard for after growing up poor. And I am fearful of that bitch Karma.
Perhaps it is suboptimal that she is older. But as the younger man I will have the power, it is she that will be insecure. In my experience, it is only the man who can have the power and rule benevolently like a Nebuchadnezzar. When the woman takes power, she begins to have contempt for the man, and becomes sadistic. Just my experience. It is the man who must rule benevolently because he is capable of being magnanimous.
@Jennypenny, @Ego, @Seppia, what advice do you have as ones who have gone all-in? I am simultaneously afraid of prematurely committing, as I am of analysis paralysis to the point of not having anyone near me, living a life apart. So far choosing the latter has built a wall of sorrow and madness.