Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

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davtheram12
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by davtheram12 »

C40 wrote:
Wed Feb 19, 2020 12:09 am
In a small number of cases, some friction has come up, though for me it has always been good (a sign that I should not hang out with them).
I can definitely resonate with this! I've learned to stay away from people from similar experiences. I had an acquaintance who always seemed nice and approachable. Any time he drank, particularly at parties or gatherings, he would always get extremely confrontational. He'd be willing to fight anyone who didn't agree with him (for any reason). Well he was eventually convicted for stabbing his mother and grandmother to death.

The guy obviously had issues that would seep through any time he drank. Alcohol was definitely not the only culprit but a person can learn a lot from someone when alcohol is introduced :|

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

@davetheram whoa! That is intense.

Not to turn this into an alcohol bashing thread, but I found this this article from Slate Star Codex really interesting. It explores why certain areas have high suicide rates. Alcohol does not come out looking great.

These are the concluding lines:

"While genetics or culture may matter a little, overall I am just going to end with a blanket recommendation to avoid being part of any small circumpolar ethnic group that has just discovered alcohol."

bryan
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by bryan »

Guess I'll just throw my hat in and say alcohol (for me) is great!

I don't see many drawbacks to drinking, "a lot" or a little. I pretty much decide up front if I want to not drink, have just a single drink, or to hit and ride the buzz/intox. Even the potential bad/wasted day after is more due to staying out late/until early than the alcohol, I think. One drawback I definitely note would be getting a surplus of calories for the day(s) and the potential for getting a beer belly. I've curtailed that a bit in the last year by switching to mostly club soda drinks in indulgence scenarios.

Granted, I have strong willpower in everything I do. There was a point last year where I thought my drinking was beginning to be a problem (month or so after a long-term relationship ending, drinking a lot every day) so I decided to be sober for a month.. no problem. After that period ended, I've mostly decided to not drink if I'm at home and by myself.

The city I'm at now is fairly small so I've actually become a regular at an all-night dive bar here; two or three nights a week, same nights, going through a shift change or two.. Kind of nice being a regular so far. People that I talk to here smoke a fair bit so I've actually taken that up to be able to join on the smoking patio (the indoor smoking places are too much..) without being a non-smoker and looking desperate to just keep talking or something. So far I don't see any signs of addiction (probably thanks to only smoking while drinking, at certain bars) there either.

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

@bryan
bryan wrote:
Thu Feb 20, 2020 1:25 pm
Even the potential bad/wasted day after is more due to staying out late/until early than the alcohol, I think.
That's great! It also exemplifies why people like you should carry on having fun and people like me should probably not.

I've never woken up after a night of drinking, wasted the day vomiting and moaning and holding my head and feeling tremendous shame for once again blacking out way too early in the night, and then thought to myself, "You know what? I'm probably just feeling bad because I stayed out too late."

sid3
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by sid3 »

One 'frame' one could use would be to view alcohol as a performance enhancing drug. It is up to the individual to choose the place, time, and quantity to use alcohol for performance enhancement. The same can be said for caffeine, I used to joke when making coffee before a test that I was doing performance enhancing drugs.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by AxelHeyst »

I drank moderately since college, something like 1-3 drinks/night on average, 4-6 nights/week, with a couple nights a month of getting good n hammered. I hate hangovers, I get nauseous all day after.

Five years ago I took a month off. Every year since then I take one month totally off alcohol. I like it because it a) convinces me I can quit if I want to, and b) resets my tolerance to low levels.

At the beginning of this year I decided to take 2020 99% off of alcohol, with 2-3 pre-planned minor exceptions. I feel awesome. I just hung out with all my friends over the weekend, and everyone else was drinking, and I had a blast and it was zero problems.

I have no idea how I could maintain an ERE lifestyle and regular drinking habits. At a very conservative estimate, I spent $2k/yr on alcohol. But in my experiments with taking a month off, when I don't drink, I spend less money than the amount of money I don't spend on alcohol. Meaning, when I drink, I spend more on food out, on dumb internet purchases, etc.

I used to use alcohol as a way to increase social performance/lower inhibitions. I think I just masked problems [edit: I think I was masking low social competence/skill]. Now I focus on actually being better in social situations. Similarly, I think I used alcohol to numb negative emotions. Now I try to feel them, get through them, sort them out, and not need to blow $3k/yr and my health on avoiding negative emotions. Bonus: more space for positive experiences and emotions!
Last edited by AxelHeyst on Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

@axel, nice work! And very well said. It's huge when you can make the shift from "I gotta somehow get through this social situation without drinking, and it's gonna suck" to "there might be a couple awkward moments during this social situation but I can still have a great time."

Peanut
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Peanut »

Recommend Ben Affleck's interview in the NYT about his struggle with alcoholism. I think the thing with alcohol is when it's fine, it's fine, but when it starts to go bad it can quite subtly turn into a complete disaster before you know it. IOW the risk is always there of getting out of control. People who keep it in the 'beneficial' category their whole life are really aware and disciplined about how much they're drinking. (My grandfather was in this category. Small glass of cognac every day in his 90s.) If you're not someone who wants to maintain a high level of vigilance at all times, it's just an inherently risky activity. And yes, an added expense to boot.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by AxelHeyst »

I thought of another way to phrase my relationship with alcohol: when I drink, I mostly enjoy it, but it costs (money, health, time). When I don't drink, I don't miss it. That's become a criteria for me as I consider habits and choices within an ERE framework: do I miss X if I don't have it, after I've gotten through the expected adjustment/craving/detox phase? No? It's out. Easy choice.

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

I'm officially 8 months no booze. I have also officially stopped having dreams where I am at a party and drinking alcohol. I'd always have this moment in the dreams where I realized I'd broken my streak and feel really bad about it. I guess one thing I've learned through this process is that I'm capable of having stress dreams about pretty much anything :lol:

I barely think about alcohol anymore.

Less in person socialization due to covid has helped reduce tempting situations, but overall I feel a lot more comfortable hanging with friends sober than I did when I quit.

I definitely want to do a year at this point, and I'll reassess from there.

Quinn123
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Quinn123 »

After I stopped drinking alcohol, I began to feel much better and I no longer spend money on it

enigmaT120
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by enigmaT120 »

I don't see the point.

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

Smashter wrote:
Wed Jun 03, 2020 3:20 pm
I definitely want to do a year at this point, and I'll reassess from there.
Dang, time flies. This month marked 4 years without alcohol.

I still have dreams where I drink. At some point in every dream I realize what's happening and go, "Nooo, the streak is over, why did I do that, it wasn't worth it!!"

Though in one dream recently, dream me didn't beat himself up. After having one drink and acting like a responsible adult dream me was like, "Oh, I guess that's possible. That was pretty fun!"

Not beating myself up, even if just in dreams, feels like some kind of progress. Not that I'm about to have a drink anytime soon.

I hope anyone who is struggling keeps on fighting the good fight.

theanimal
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by theanimal »

Smashter wrote:
Wed Oct 11, 2023 9:58 pm
Dang, time flies. This month marked 4 years without alcohol.

I still have dreams where I drink. At some point in every dream I realize what's happening and go, "Nooo, the streak is over, why did I do that, it wasn't worth it!!"
Nice!

That's funny, I have the same exact style of dreams a few times a year. I'm at about the same time period removed as well (4.5 years). I find it kind of peculiar as in the 2 or 3 years before I stopped drinking, I was only consuming a handful of drinks per year.

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Seppia
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Seppia »

Huge congrats!
I would love to quit completely but I am in the wine and spirits business so it’s close to impossible (and it looks bad: the only people in the business who never drink are all people who have a history of abuse)

Smashter
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Smashter »

Thanks guys!

@theanimal that is odd indeed. Dreams are so fascinating.

@Seppia I totally get that. I would have stuck out like a sore thumb if I didn't drink when I was doing much more hands on sales that involved a lot of literal wining and dining.

Salathor
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Salathor »

Smashter wrote:
Wed Oct 11, 2023 9:58 pm
Dang, time flies. This month marked 4 years without alcohol.
Four years. That's amazing. Today is actually 10 months for me. I never was a "get-really-drunk" or blackout level of drinker, and I think there are probably posts from me on this forum saying I'd never quit drinking. Eventually though it was definitely taking up too much brain space and really impacting my sleep. I'm way better off without it.

Dave
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Dave »

Smashter wrote:
Wed Oct 11, 2023 9:58 pm
Dang, time flies. This month marked 4 years without alcohol.
Congrats, that's really great!

My brief history is I was a heavy binge drinker in college and then drank less frequently (but still heavily when doing so) as the years went by. I had 2 alcohol free years in my 20s, found it net positive. Didn't have the drive to maintain total abstinence, but each time I drank I found the rewards less and less and the downsides more and more.

The last time I was drunk was during 2020 lockdowns...a local brewery was selling growlers of assorted beer for something like $3. My wife and I loaded up and got smashed while watching Tiger King and playing Team Fortress 2 to pass the time. It was actually a blast and a good distraction.

So I've been back and forth on this. All of the things I am most embarrassed of occurred under the influence, but to be honest a good portion of my most fun times did, too. All in all, the last few years I have been preferring my life without it. I haven't had a drink in about a year, and plan to keep this streak going.

Bicycle7
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by Bicycle7 »

@theanimal and Smashter, I've had those dreams this year too!

I'm pretty sure I was inspired by this thread to go 2023 without a drink, so it has been at least 10 plus months for me. This hasn't been difficult as I've never drank much. Like some others have said, I don't see much of an upside to it and I have a lot of negative associations (some helpful, some not) that were ingrained from my parents with drinking.

It's cool to see others have streaks longer than a year, the original plan was to go only a year, though I might just keep the streak going. The biggest positive that I've noticed is reducing decision making. In general, I've been trying to reduce the amount of decisions I need to make. I don't have to decide whether or not I want a drink when people offer it, the answer is just no. This decision used to bring some anxiety and decision fatigue for me.

Reflecting on this, I think there's inner work to be done too around why I have the associations I do with alcohol.

ertyu
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Re: Quitting Alcohol Pros and Cons

Post by ertyu »

I also had one of those dreams tonight where I had "just one" and then contemplated my life like, woe i failed again :lol:
These do seem to be a thing

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