Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Questions and comments
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plantingourpennies
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by plantingourpennies » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:42 am

IlliniDave wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:34 am
plantingourpennies wrote:
Fri Dec 22, 2017 10:34 pm

Looks like he hasn't posted since August, but still logs in regularly.

Ego has been gone since October as well.
A couple others too. In principle I enjoy talking about politics and related topics, but...<snip>I see a New Year's resolution opportunity.
Who else left?

I can't imagine the forum gained anything in the political threads that outweighs what Ego and Dragline brought over the years. I believe that Ego was doing ERE-style FI before he even found this site...not many here can say that.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:31 am

@IlliniDave:

It's also been hard for somebody like me, who is more all-over-the-field than moderate. I wouldn't say that I have fewer friends overall, but I literally have to transport myself from one city/neighborhood where I can talk with people who generally agree with me on Topics A and Z (maybe global climate change and legalization of marijuana) to a different city/neighborhood where I can talk with people who generally agree with me on Topics B and Q(maybe rent control and whether or not making personal choice to daily smoke legal marijuana will likely impact your mid-life sexual performance.) Of course, I could just choose to mostly keep my mouth shut, but....

Anyways, I sincerely hope that nothing unduly obnoxious that I wrote on this forum was in any way causative of loss of other members. I do fret a bit after the fact when I debate too hard and provocative. I do the same thing IRL, but it likely comes off a bit more benign, because my physical presentation/manner is more harmless and ridiculous. Thus,my new avatar.

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daylen
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by daylen » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:45 am

@ 7Wannabe5 I feel the same way.

Take what I say with a grain of salt. I tend to entertain multiple perspectives simultaneously while writing.

Language is an inconsistent, incomplete, and fuzzy cluster of interrelated concepts that exist as constructs in our minds. Sort of. :lol:

I would like to thank the forum members in general for their contributions.
Last edited by daylen on Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

jennypenny
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by jennypenny » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:47 am

Agreed plantingyourpennies.

What I find baffling is how the political threads struck such a nerve that some people left. We've talked about all kinds of personal subjects ... and by 'talked' I mean argued until our fingers were too tired to type. I can remember three separate go-rounds over religion that got really personal. And while feelings were sometimes hurt, no one left. I still don't understand why this topic is different, especially since none of us fit any mold but the ERE one, so I'd never assume that anyone here neatly fit into the red or blue mold either.

I found the sexual misconduct thread enlightening on several levels. I always thought that men who kept their head down to try to stay out of the fray were at fault too to some extent, which is why I made the plea for good guys taking the offenders out to the woodshed. I didn't realize that people like Scott employed the Pence rule and took other steps to avoid a potentially serious problem. I sensed some real fear in some of the guys. I haven't changed my mind, but I haven't lost respect for any of the men who challenged what I said just because they disagreed with me ... I can see their logic and why they've come to the conclusions they have. I wish people could treat others in the political threads the same way.

So cheers to everyone who's stayed. I know I'm better for it. And hopefully those that left will feel free to jump back in at some point. We're a small tribe so it hurts to lose members.

------------

Now to my best of ...

One of my favorite posts was a recent one of Scott's from the dating thread for being so ... ERE. :lol:
Scott 2 wrote:
Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:54 am
A big part of making a relationship successful is maximizing your variables in the context of the other person's algorithm.

I love everyone's journals. I don't always post but I always read them. They are my favorite part of the forum. Just don't post things like 'we're having a baby, trying to have a baby' etc and then not follow up and leave us in suspense. You know who you are. :P

I also love the gardening thread and seppia's cooking thread. And sclass's sewing thread. And ffj's rope thread. Basically any where I can learn something 'real' if that makes sense. I love when people take the time to post how they do something step by step. (apologies to anyone who's thread I've forgotten to mention)

Finally, a shout out to the new members and those who used to lurk but now post more often. I feel like we have a better mix of ages and situations, and that always makes the conversation more interesting.

Cheers and Happy Holidays!

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C40
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by C40 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:37 pm

That Forum Posting Ethics thread had some unintended consequences. Some of the regular members who stopped posting (well, at least one that I know of for certain because they told me so) were influenced to stop posting by that thread, thinking that it applied to what they were posting (when, IMO, it definitely did not).

I was greatly disappointed by some of the political threads this year because it seems we've lost something I liked most about this forum - that people here can discuss issues from a observational perspective (objectively, discussing the actual truth, problems, causes, etc.)... instead I saw a way too much of people getting personally offended and far too many of the posts coming from a place of emotional turbulence and anger - a sort of childish loss of control. My conclusion from some of those threads is that the current culture fad of "The Offended" has bled into our little world too much.

Anyways, I found the sexual misconduct thread fascinating. Even with the issues stated above, and even within this topic (possibly the most volitile subject possible) there were still a lot great posts. We didn't seem to ever get on the same page, but there were good posts to learn from. I learn a lot from being able to gain some understanding of other peoples' perspectives, especially on a subject like this. So it was nice to read thoughts, particularly from the female members, from their own perspectives and not just reading regurgitations of the current 'party line' rhetoric.

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BRUTE
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by BRUTE » Sat Dec 23, 2017 1:49 pm

FBeyer wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2017 1:48 am
Not because bumming around the globe for a year somehow gave you a better perspective than before?
the whole Nihilism-Dog-Debate happened at the very end of brute's bumming phase.

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Fish
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by Fish » Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:15 pm

@C40 I feel bad about how "forum posting ethics" turned out. A few good posts and discussion resulted, but the collateral damage was too much. I figured that if the forum could withstand 2,000+ posts of Trump and several incarnations of climate discussion nonsense, we could have a constructive conversation on how to make the forum better. But meta-discussions are a completely different animal. Consider JD Roth at GRS, who puts up this standard disclaimer on guest posts:
Reminder: This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After more than a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn’t a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are. Henceforth, unduly nasty comments on readers stories will be removed or edited.
I think the reality of it is that most humans don't have a thick skin, even when they claim to. Egos are fragile. The threads in the PED subforum set a rather harsh standard for how ideas are discussed and disagreed upon. It's one thing to call someone out for being wrong on Trump or some other thing that we expected to disagree about a priori. But another thing completely to make that person the topic of discussion. There probably will be an "anti-meta discussion" rule added to the rules of conduct at the next flare-up.

Although I was a non-participant, I found the Trump and sexual misconduct threads highly informative for understanding how humans can hold consistent but vastly differing ideas on a subject. The discussion is much more insightful than the usual comments thread left open to the general public.

I'll second what jenny said about journals. It's my favorite sub-forum and I enjoy following the lives of many like-minded humans even if I can't find anything constructive to add most of the time. For example, I admire how @1taskaday has consistently posted in The Reluctant Journal even with minimal reader feedback, and I am eagerly reading every update hoping that she can finally start the job-share arrangement that has been sought for so long now. Looking forward to 2018.

halfmoon
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by halfmoon » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:36 pm

Fish wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:15 pm
I figured that if the forum could withstand 2,000+ posts of Trump and several incarnations of climate discussion nonsense, we could have a constructive conversation on how to make the forum better.
I had to smile at this, Fish. Granted: I mostly read the journals where people are baring their hearts about financial struggle, relationships, depression, addiction, past mistakes and future fears. You might just as well tell your lover how her well-meant technique is falling short of expectation and provide some performance parameters. Wait: are you an engineer? :lol:

I like the stories best. I mostly bypass political discussion because I have little desire to either preach to the choir or launch a hopeless attempt at conversion. I would have to list my personal 2017 highlights as:

1. FBeyer's posts about his struggle with depression.

2. Jason, who is so damn entertaining even when I want to smack him upside the head. Then, just when my baseball bat is poised to smack, he shows a thoughtful and caring side that makes me drop the bat.

3. Literally everyone who comments on the journals. I'm guilty of not doing this enough because I feel inadequate (and especially have trouble with posts in other currencies or scant punctuation), but feedback is what drives a journal. If someone doesn't want feedback, they'll keep a personal journal and not post it online. FEEDBACK IS CRACK. Again: kudos to Jason, because he's generous that way.

ffj
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by ffj » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:40 pm

I've always enjoyed everyone here that takes the time to comment or share their lives. They don't have to do it and for those that do, thank you. I can't think of anybody that isn't interesting to me here, and some of the most interesting ones I've had several disagreements with. Speaking of which...

This place is a gem, where even when we strongly disagree with each other it's still pretty tame compared to other sites. I don't see how you can understand any subject without hashing out points of friction so I think we should celebrate the capability to discuss ideas, even difficult ones. So thank you everyone who dared to contribute to controversial subjects, or any other thread for that matter.

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Sclass
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by Sclass » Sun Dec 24, 2017 1:14 pm

Thanks to everyone for making my life more interesting in 2017. A lot of very interesting minds have come and gone over the years. We need our lurkers to step up and fill in the gaps. Share your intellects.

Happy holidays and best wishes for a great 2018.

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The_Bowme
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by The_Bowme » Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:41 pm

I really enjoyed the Fish's Enlightenment post from Fish. Helpful ways to think alternatively about progress on the journey, and good links to other threads that contributed tot the ideas therein.

CS
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by CS » Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:45 pm

On a lighter note, I just saw this

"I found ERE Googling "INTJ" during my discovery of the Myers Briggs test"

(from viewtopic.php?f=9&t=9266)

and thought it belonged here.

wolf
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by wolf » Mon Dec 25, 2017 1:28 am

I liked very much:

Fish's Enlightment, because it was and still is inspirational.

Myers-Briggs Pseudoscience?, because it has an alternative view on personality types.

“Money is a solved problem”, because it challenges someone to think about his/her own FI mindset.

Indications that you waited too long to retire, because it is based on experiences and I had learned some lessons from it.

Living Off Your Money , because it gave me the hint to a great book about money and investment management in retirement which I finally used to create a "retirement withdrawal strategy".

What is your ERE housing score?, because it is a method to verify the housing situation.

And I like all ERE Journals, because of the experiences we share along the ERE journey !!!
Thank you very much everybody for posting and discussing!!!

Jason
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by Jason » Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:31 am

(1) My intermittent PM exchange with JLF - It started with a PM of his musings on how vast and variegated the internet landscape is, segueing into a semi-rebuke/semi-suggestive "this might not be the best place for you" type of message. It followed with a "listen, people are complaining and if you don't stop I'm going to have to put you in the cooler" (his word which made me think of Steve McQueen bouncing a baseball against the wall in "The Great Escape"). It soon moved to "there is a nuclear football, and only one of us has the code." It ultimately came to a head with "the majority of people hate you and are threatening a mass exodus so don't be emboldened by the two people who claim to like you. This a final warning." Of course these are paraphrases and his actual PM's included footnotes, small x's and y's, theories and references I never heard of and cause and effect connections that I couldn't understand if he taught a class on them. What made it even more amusing to me was he would always link the ERE policies in each PM' which made me think of him as Paul Ryan handing drafts of the tax bill to Donald Trump knowing there's no fucking chance in hell he's actually going to read any version of it before signing the official one. It made me realize just how fair he plays, as well as good natured he is and that he really rules without consideration of personality or public opinion. I don't see this as some type of betrayal of a confidential thing or any surprise to anyone who pays any attention, it's just that his patience and his committment to be inclusive was kind of touching in a way that both made we want to be respectful and tweak the shit out of him.

(2) The Animal - Courage of conviction? Stupidity? Insanity? Who gives a shit. The guy makes actual animals look like elderly sisters fighting over a worthless heirloom. And on the spectrum of what is extreme, I kind of see us as bookends.

(3) 7Wannabe5 - On a board full of people who make over-analysis an Olympic event, this woman is Michael Phelps. It's like every post is good night story from your Aunt who you later learned was still suffering the effects of eating the brown acid at Woodstock. She's like the girl at school who tied her shoelaces into different types of sailor's knots each day and spent her recess alone crouched down on the playground making a sun dial or some other type of stupid shit. Part non-fiction, part theory, part utter bullshit, her posts are an intoxicating blend of sheer fucking confusion which she churns out at a Sartrean pace. I honestly can't figure out if the woman is a genius or a complete fucking quack. That being said, my dream retirement would be driving her around in her camper, stopping in order that she could give relationship seminars to Seventh Day Adventists, doomsday cults and armed government standoffs.

(4) Half-moon - I like narrative accounts and her's is hand's down the best. That picture of her DW on his tower is sheer fucking lunacy. Plus her understated resolve in the face of challenges is a example to be emulated. A life well lived.

(5) Slow Traveler - We share the same pathology, I just didn't have the guts to do what he's doing when I was at that age. Plus, out of the two people who say that they like me, he's the one I'm more inclined to believe. What can I say, I'm superficial that way.

(6) Seppia - Blew the doors off my living in Italy question. Understands that despite his countrymen's unparalleled contributions to culture throughout the ages, they are singularly deficient in creating any pop music that doesn't compel you to drive your car into a brick wall. Wrote recipes before anything about himself. Is the epitome of what it means to be a contributing member to a community, virtual or otherwise;

(7) CS - I know she's too busy picketing her local Chick-Fil-A's to read this, but I just wanted to acknowledge her courage in stepping out as ERE's own Rose McGowan;

saving-10-years
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by saving-10-years » Mon Dec 25, 2017 10:37 am

I don't spend as much time on the forums to keep up consistently. I enjoyed many of the discussions this year and agree with lots of the nominations for best of. And also agree with what @Jason has to say about @Jacob's commitment to this forum and fairness throughout. (Not that I have had PMs from @Jacob and feel this is probably a good thing).

I would like to nominate a thread which came at the end of the year but which is one of many threads started by @THF (formerly know as @Zalo or @Olaz). Its the one titled 'Inspire me please? Feeling down' viewtopic.php?f=18&t=9494#p156718

Often @THF asks for advice, but the advice in this thread shows how caring and understanding, experienced and knowledgeable this ERE community is. And @THF seems to be following the advice and getting benefit. Hope his next year is smoother running and same to all of you. You often brighten my day or cause me to laugh aloud, or re-think and many many times you leave me discussing what has been said here with my DH. Thanks everyone for being part of what has been one of the most educational experiences of my (over-educated) life.

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Seppia
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by Seppia » Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:01 pm

Jason wrote:
Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:31 am
(6) Seppia - Blew the doors off my living in Italy question. Understands that despite his countrymen's unparalleled contributions to culture throughout the ages, they are singularly deficient in creating any pop music that doesn't compel you to drive your car into a brick wall. Wrote recipes before anything about himself. Is the epitome of what it means to be a contributing member to a community, virtual or otherwise
Thank you so much Jason for the kind words.
If I make a balance, I still owe a tremendous amount to the ERE world, I'll continue to do my best to help as much as I can, in the few fields where I think I can help.

Edit: I just decided to actually do something viewtopic.php?t=9534

EdithKeeler
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Re: Best of the ERE Forum 2017

Post by EdithKeeler » Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:35 am

I’m not sure I could pick a “best” or favorite, but reading some of the above makes me really really glad I stay away from the political discussions.

I enjoy the heck out of this board and always learn something or find something that makes me think and usually question my assumptions.

Jason makes me laugh out loud. 7wannabe, next time I have to come up to Detroit for work, I’d love to meet you for coffee. Ego’s “Something for nothing” thread inspires me to check dumpsters regularly (haven’t found anything yet), and I sincerely wish TopHatFox some calm and satisfaction and success.

Thanks to everyone who posts here, because you all enrich my life, and thanks especially to Jacob.

Here’s to a great 2018. With less crazy politics!

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