Wait. What? I thought we were talking about Fish's preferences (and to a lesser extent, Jacob's)My comments aren't aimed at you in particular and I’m not trying to change rules or guidelines that are welcome and accepted by most forum members.
This comes up every once in a while, Jacob being nostalgic for a lost internet I never knew...
This is the only place I am "social" online. Not because I am particularly ERE, but because this is the only place people put the effort forth to sincerely disagree. By that I mean we are willing to put our thoughts into words, and challenge preconceived notions.
I score very solidly INTJ, and even I find some of Fish's posts... Information dense, it think is the right term. As though what he is writing has been kicked around in his head for a while, written down, edited, re-edited, then edited for length, by eliminating all but the most necessary words.
But I LOVE that! Where else can you find such depth of thought on display in an interactive place?
By contrast, you are so foreign to me I sometimes need to reread your posts, to make sure I hadn't misread you. Which is again awesome, and also rare and valuable.
Myself, I kick ideas around for too long, unless I have someone to bounce them off of. So, in real life, I say some very outrageous things. Not because I believe them, but because I have been kicking it around, and am hoping someone can poke a hole in it. Popping one of these thought bubbles is the best, and usually requires an looking at the problem from an angle I would never find on my own. As I tried to explain to my best friend's fiance, I need to be right, I don't need you to believe that I am right. Showing me where I am not right is the sincerest form of flattery.
Over the years, you have forced me to re-examine a few things, thank you.
Watching my brother in law trying to get his PhD, has made it very clear how little that has to do with personal development, even when it is a psychiatry doctorate. You have to know by now that most people value consensus. It sounds to me as though you found one of those. And you weren't building consensus, so the reaction seems predictable.
CS, this is going to be a long post, so bear with me.In the interest of being direct (channeling INTJ), and since it is the topic of this board, I must tell you that your posts are the only ones in this forum that I have found offensive to the point of having a reaction every time I see your name. "Chicks" this and "chicks" that, generally in terms of their sexual usefulness to you or others. The word for this is misogyny. (Being partnered doesn't mean this isn't a thing. Calling it 'humor' does not make it funny.)
About 20 years ago, my sister and I shared a house. Her boyfriend, "BS" for short, was an obnoxious, wannabe overwhelming guy. You know him, not too smart, very loud, enormously proud of himself when he said something vaguely witty, desperately wanting to project intimating, but really just a loser.
One day, my good friend D and I come home from a construction site, and are having a few beers. BS comes in, says something stupid, I don't remember what. D looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes, and in a drole voice feeds BS a line. BS jumps on it. D smiles, and does it again. Again, BS jumps on it. Soon, I jump in. I think that was the most fun BS ever had, he was killing it. It was shooting fish in a barrel, BS finally was the smartest guy in the room. D and I had a great time too, because we had made a game of controlling BS's side of the conversation. If you looked at a transcript of the conversation, it was clear the BS was quick and witty. If you listened to a recording, it was clear he was an idiot.
There was a meta conversation going on, at a level BS was completely unaware of. I find this as a useful reminder that I don't always know what is going on, even when I am there, participating. While I have never been on the receiving end of this bit, there have been conversations I have been a part of, where unsaid things were communicated, that had to be pointed out to me later.
I have been here a while, and I have read some mysogynist posts (the men's rights thread comes to mind), but I have never seen one go unchallenged.
Jason on the other hand, writes what he writes, and while it raises a few questions, it doesn't raise challenges. In this group, it doesn't raise challenges.
Now, you need to ask yourself, is that because we are all mysogynists, or is there meta content you are missing?