An ERE dating site

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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jacob
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Post by jacob »

Yes? No? How?


JohnnyH
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Post by JohnnyH »

Boy I don't know... How would would we trick the women into coming?
Seems like niche dating sites (religion, politics) never seem to do well in competition with the big ones... It would be cool and it would be an efficient way to narrow the pool.
I'm kind of attracted to woman that are opposite of myself anyway... But that probably excludes matters financial. Being wasteful isn't attractive.


jacob
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Post by jacob »

According to alexa, the women are already here:
"Compared with internet averages, the site appeals more to users who are higher-income; its audience also tends to consist of childless college graduates and women between the ages of 25 and 35 who browse from home."
Methinks, for those who are interested is just to get an account on a major site and list ERE as an interest. That would be the more effective approach. Only reason I mention it, is that the suggestion seems to come up often.


Q
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Post by Q »

No - just more meet-ups. Even Couchsurfing encourages meet-ups which lead eventually to "romance"


JohnnyH
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Post by JohnnyH »

OMG, women are here?! I better quit being such an ass.


ScottfromMenominee
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Post by ScottfromMenominee »

I'd better make sure my hair is combed...


Maus
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Post by Maus »

Will this ERE dating site lead to a host of social lies like those common to most sites, e.g. instead of a 10-year-old flattering photo people will post stock statements from before 2008 that showed AWESOME (Jacob's favorite word), though now vanished, assets? Claims of attractive ERE skill sets like gardening or bike repair that are based on sprouting a potato in kindergarten and fixing a flat in sixth grade?
I jest. The truth of the matter is that I find the dating sites to be a huge frustration because they perpetuate the illusion that there is a vast number of eligible partners. I've returned to living my principles and hoping the integrity between my walk and my talk will attract someone with similar values.


Matthew
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Post by Matthew »

Let's face it, as long as there are histronic narcissists there will always be fake information posted. However, I would think this site would not attract many dishonest gold diggers or liars based on how most of us have no interest in a new BMW and happily admit that we spend time trying to figure out how to eliminate a 50 cent charge from our bills just shy of living in a cave somewhere that doesn't have property taxes (mainly because I can't find the cave!):) I believe that it is hard to find incentive to bother lying on this site. To brag you have to find a cheaper/more frugal ways to live! It's kind of hard to boast that I sold my house so I could pay rent to my parents and meet an ERE goal. Even frugal women just don't find it HOT when you live with your parents! That said, I think a dating section would be a great idea, but it should be seperate from the Forums section with its own tab. Nobody wants to see all the chat regarding relationships that is unrelated to ERE and it would be good if messages between people stayed between the two people. I like the idea of adding ERE to date sites, but not many people on here (myself included) are going to pay to be on the dating sites hoping to find ERE. I think it would be good if we could choose to post additional info about ourselves that could be searched on the dating section of the site. Thinks like (I don't want pets, I don't want kids, I don't want to buy you a new Audi, I don't care what other people think is normal except for when it becomes a law which limits my freedom or requires me to make more money just to live, I do love the outdoors, etc.):)


ScottfromMenominee
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Post by ScottfromMenominee »

I think having a dating section on this site would be a good idea. Attraction through mutual interests and lifestyle choices such as ERE does half the filtering work already. There's no fumbling on about frugality or minimalist living on a first date to some ill-informed prospect whose initial judgement about you might include that you're cheap, living with the folks, or on a government check. There's nothing like finding somebody who not only shares your "fringe" interests, but is just as enthusiastic, if not more. I wonder if these meet-ups will lead to some romances? (Sorry ladies, I'm taken!)


AnneBentham
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Post by AnneBentham »

For anyone interested in dating sites, OkCupid might be a good place to start. It's free and you get matched up with people based on how you answer questions, and you can write your own and explain all your answers. Here are some examples relevant to ERE:
What do you think about people who retire extremely early (before age 35)?
Do you keep a budget (of your finances)?
Do you spend money on a partner, buying gifts, paying for events and the like?
Do you usually get more satisfaction from spending money on objects or experiences?
Which best describes your method for paying off financial debt?
What do you do with your money?
Would you ever date someone who depended on their parents' money?
How important is money/wealth for you in a match?
Do you believe that money can buy happiness?
Which is more valuable to you, time or money?
Are you careful with your money?
Would you rather have more money or more freedom?
Do you spend more money on clothes or food?


Beaudacious
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Post by Beaudacious »

I'll second the OkCupid suggestion. I've met some pretty interesting people through that site (even one on the opposite coast... long story), and the matching system they use has worked for me. They've all been at least fun dates.
Misrepresentation is cut down by being able to keep certain answered questions hidden without affecting the potential match percentage.


Beaudacious
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Post by Beaudacious »

Another suggestion if you're looking for a potential mate would be to find meet-up groups that involve the frugal hobbies that you participate in. *cough* ERE *cough* ahem... I've met most of the girls I've ended up successfully dating through groups I was involved in.


jacob
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Post by jacob »

Please do let me know if anyone actually hook up through these forums. That would be kinda cool 8-)


Freedom_2018
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Post by Freedom_2018 »

Attention ERE women:
One smart, successful, good looking heterosexual male available for ERE type hookups and now taking applications.
In addition to ERE type questions noted earlier in this thread, I have one additional very important question: Toilet Paper or Washcloth? Ha..ha..ha..
From my experience...meetup.com offers a more 'natural' meeting venue (meeting people with somewhat similar values, interests) versus OK Cupid which can be too narcissistic. However all those pictures and 'interesting' self descriptions do offer the illusion of choice ;-)


Mike B
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Post by Mike B »

If only there were a place where I could meet a woman who cuts her own hair but doesn't wash it, lives in a van but doesn't drive it (bicycle only!), eats only rice and beans but doesn't use toilet paper...


B
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Post by B »

@jacob
I'd also be curious if anyone broke up due to these forums/the blog/the book. ;)


Maus
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Post by Maus »

I've found that the oblique approach is sometimes helpful. Just the other day I was chatting with a woman who sews her own outfits and cans her own fruit and vegetables. At first, it would have seemed I was simply exploring what her hobbies were and sussing out mutual interests. But it was easy to move from this context to questions about saving money and the pressures of consumer society.
I also find that if I am upfront about my clothing (very unfashionable, no wristwatch, etc.) and my car (a 16 y.o. beater pickup) this fairly quickly prunes out the status-conscious gals who might associate (unjustifiably) being an attorney with an affluent lifestyle.
This basic triage makes it possible to avoid pursuing clearly incompatible relationships. The real fun begins when you start to run up against the deal-breaker despite obvious chemistry and other shared values. It's enought to make you want to be a monk. Oh, wait...I tried that.<grin>


jacob
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Post by jacob »

@B - Ha! :-D


dragoncar
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Post by dragoncar »

Mike B: I'm pretty sure you can find that kind of woman living in a van down by the river.


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