Being a good uncle

How to pass, fit in, eventually set an example, and ultimately lead the way.
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thrifty++
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Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 3:46 pm

Being a good uncle

Post by thrifty++ »

This is not necessarily overly ERE but this seems to have become my go to forum for everything.

Im heading to stay with my sister for a few days and to see my nephews. They are little, like 8 months and 4 1/2. I am mainly interested in seeing my sister but want to engage with her kids as that will make her happy.

However, I dont really know how to interact with little kids. Does anyone have tips as to how to make things more fun for kids? I am a little unskilled in this area. Am so used to interacting with adults that I dont know how to relate to kids so well.

GardenDee
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2016 6:57 am

Re: Being a good uncle

Post by GardenDee »

The 8 month old might not be mobile, so peek a boo, blow bubbles, sit on the floor and roll a ball to him or her. Bring them to a park and do the swings, small slides, etc. Very low key, not too draining. The 4.5 year old, if it's a boy, probably likes balls, trucks, running, maybe a trip to a local playground? If it's a girl, probably likes the same things, ball, running, skipping, bubbles, etc. Kids just like attention, they don't always need to be 'entertained'- just relax, be yourself and have a little fun with them. Your sister will guide you. Bubbles, which are super cheap, were always a hit with my kids...just don't let the 8 month old grab the bottle- blow bubbles for him / her!!

Dragline
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:50 am

Re: Being a good uncle

Post by Dragline »

Small children like silly and soothing things. Stick your tongue out and make silly faces at the baby. Sing to him if he likes to be held. Don't worry if he doesn't -- they frequently just want/like mama.

The older one will find you more interesting if you can make the baby laugh. At that age they can be very different depending on level of introversion/extroversion and gender. Reading a children's book to them in dramatic fashion is often the best choice. Make sure you screw up the words. And crawling around on all fours usually makes them happy. After they get a little comfortable, poke them in the belly and encourage them to poke you back. But say "You know, I might have to poke you" in a playful voice before you actually poke them. They will run away and come back out of curiosity to see what happens next.

Don't do any of this until they have seen you interact comfortably with your sister for a bit. They will take their emotional cues that you are "ok" from her. When you first meet them a wave or hug and a smile is enough.

Very extroverted boys sometimes need to be wrastled with. I ask my nephews if they would like to be dragged around by one leg. Usually in a deep pirate voice "Don't make me have to drag you upstairs by one leg." (These are advanced techniques, though, and you probably should not try them at home.)

I always do quite well with small children and animals. But I am a large adult who acts like a child.

rref
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Joined: Mon May 29, 2017 12:24 pm

Re: Being a good uncle

Post by rref »

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Last edited by rref on Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

IlliniDave
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm

Re: Being a good uncle

Post by IlliniDave »

I agree with Dragline to start slow, you'll be a stranger at first. In my experience the 4 year old is likely to furnish you with ideas once comfortable around you, sometimes an exhausting superabundance of them. Your sister is also a great source of ideas wrt his interests. Express interest in what he says, does, and be willing to get down on the floor/ground with him and you'll soon be a hero.

The baby, well, just say nice and cutesy things to it--with him it's mostly about making your sister happy. There's a chance he'll just look at you like you're some sort of freak/monster, start crying, and want mamma. Until I had kids I was extremely uncomfortable holding babies, but at 8 mos they are a little less fragile. Just be a sport about it and don't take it personally if you're not a huge hit from the get-go.

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C40
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Re: Being a good uncle

Post by C40 »

Just smile at the baby for a while or whatever... be willing to watch it for a while so your sister can do something. Little kids like that are exhausting because you have to sort of watch them continually. Otherwise, an 8 month old is just a little ball of organs, poop, tears, smiles, and gibberish so it doesn't really matter.

For the 4 1/2 year old, if you want to know how to interact well with them, just ask your sister. A kid at that age will now be able to have an actual conversation. Talk to them. See what kind of a person they are. Teach them something. (one example that has worked out with my nephew pretty well was starting to teach him chess. Every once in a while when he hears me talking to his mom on the phone, he'll ask her to ask me if we can play chess again the next time I visit them. And if he keeps playing me, it will be interesting to see him get better over the years.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Being a good uncle

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Some excellent suggestions above. One additional thing you might want to bear in mind is that 4 1/2 can be an age of very uneven development. So, your nephew might be able to converse with you at length about the proper classification of dinosaurs, but may also need some pretty direct assistance if you have to accompany him to the bathroom on an outing to the museum.

Children that age are generally not yet coordinated enough to truly play at sports. For instance, maybe 2 out of 24 will be able to jump rope properly at that age, and some will not yet be able to walk down a staircase one foot at a time. Their imaginations are highly active, so if you ask a child that age what they had for dinner last night, expect an answer detailing what he wishes he had for dinner. So, any variety of play that combines their urge to develop large muscles and their overly active imaginations will likely be a success with the majority. For instance, they love dancing the "Hokey-Pokey" or playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" and will be amazed and intrigued by anything resembling a magic trick or a box of costuming props.

They can also become over-excited very easily, so if you find yourself in need of a quick calm down trick, one I have used with good success is to suggest sticking tongue out like a puppy dog and quickly panting out the bad air, slowly breathing in the good air. Any variation on simple yoga relaxation pose with accompanying imaginative suggestion can work.

thrifty++
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Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 3:46 pm

Re: Being a good uncle

Post by thrifty++ »

Thanks for the ideas guys. Some great tips here.

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