Loneliness vs Freedom

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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fiby41
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Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by fiby41 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 8:01 am


7Wannabe5
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:01 am

I think it's more like "everybody decides when that is more like loneliness or freedom." Since I usually test close to neutral on the extroverted/introverted scale, I usually have made the decision that privacy is more expensive than sociability, so I generally find myself feeling lonely less often than I find myself feeling trapped/oppressed. IOW, I have never chosen to live by myself because I have always preferred to save money, share resources by living with other people and just tuning them out or creating other boundaries as best as I can. Therefore, I have only experienced the loneliness of living with somebody who does not want to interact with me which is easy to overcome if you are open to the possibility of divorce. Since it is easy to find people to share conversation with on the internet, and I have always been well able to substitute books and journal for conversation, I think (don't know) that I could last about 2 weeks on my own before seeking other human for sex and a cuddle. Obviously, a pet could also serve if my cuddle desire was foremost, but that has never been my experience.

I have experienced a wide range of variations in the forms of extroversion in my primary partners. In addition to overall level of extroversion, people can vary a lot in terms in the extent to which they seek other people with whom to share activities, conversation, affectionate interaction, food and/or sex. For instance, somebody could be quite conversationally introverted, but sexually extroverted or vice-versa. Also people can vary a lot in terms of whether they prefer to be in a group of people or with just one other person. For instance, I can find it very draining to just be in the company of one other person most of the time if they do not grant me the space/freedom to do a lot of reading, unless they are a highly interesting and entertaining conversationalist. A man better be prepared to provide me with at least 5 hours of highly engaging sexual entertainment for every hour he would like me to spend even pretending to watch a sporting event on TV with him, but if he is okay so long as I cuddle with him on the sofa and read a book, then that is service I am happy to provide at no charge.

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Dragline
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by Dragline » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:08 am

Yup -- life is not a static model, but a dynamic system. What could be perceived as freedom one day could be loneliness on another. And some people like their "alone time" more than others.

IlliniDave
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by IlliniDave » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:18 am

I find the difference between loneliness and solitude to be largely driven by how content/satisfied I am with what I have. I haven't really ever equated solitude with freedom, but I suppose I can see the connection.

Did
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by Did » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:28 am

@7w So your terms are one hour of man chosen TV in return for 5 hours of sex?

Sounds fair.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:02 am

@7w So your terms are one hour of man chosen TV in return for 5 hours of sex? Sounds fair.
You only say that because you are likely an EJ who is under the age of 40.

Just poking fun at myself for my predominant real-life traits which are not well revealed by my writing, which are extreme inattentiveness or absent-mindedness combined with extreme easy-going, imperturbability. So, for instance, if somebody wakes me up by grabbing me by one ankle and immediately proceeding to have sex with me, it either registers as mildly amusing or exciting enough to engage my full attention, but never bothersome. Or I might be wandering around the kitchen drinking coffee in my robe, thinking about systems theory, and somebody might say "Make me a sandwich.", and I am capable of performing the entire process of sandwich creation without even fully registering that a request was made. But, sometimes somebody might want me to put my full attention on some matter which I do not want to put my full attention on because it is boring or I don't care, and then I will have a problem in that relationship.

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C40
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by C40 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:40 am

7Wannabe5 wrote: A man better be prepared to provide me with at least 5 hours of highly engaging sexual entertainment for every hour he would like me to spend even pretending to watch a sporting event on TV with him.
Pretty darn good deal for the guy. Sports and sex.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:36 pm

C40 said:Pretty darn good deal for the guy. Sports and sex.
Yeah, for some guys sometimes. But, like Mick, some guys sometimes sing to some girls "Baby, I just don't have that much jam." Once again subject to all things in complex dynamic systems being relative and contextual.

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BRUTE
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Re: Loneliness vs Freedom

Post by BRUTE » Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:37 pm

Arthur wrote:A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.

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