I'm increasingly finding myself in positions where people suggest to eat out at a restaurant, ice cream shop, breakfast house, restaurant, dancing out, etc etc. I find eating out at a restaurant time consuming, expensive, usually unhealthful, so I'd prefer to simply cook at a person's house, explore nature, dance in a free, community-like setting, etc.
I'm wondering how to handle social pressure to eat out or socialize in a paid, commercial space. Thus far what I've done is switch friend groups or reach out to individual people with non-commercial dates or outings.
How do you deal with social pressure to eat out or socialize in commercial spaces? I'm sure this pressure only exacerbates in cities and as college students actually have income to throw around from post-grad jobs.
Dealing with social pressure to eat out/socialize out?
Re: Dealing with social pressure to eat out/socialize out?
While you're in college "I don't have money for that" should be accepted immediately. If it's a sizable group, you won't be too out of place going along with them to the restaurant and not buying any food.
If it's out dancing and there is no cover, no problem at all. Bring a flask if you want to drink.
If it's out dancing and there is no cover, no problem at all. Bring a flask if you want to drink.
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Re: Dealing with social pressure to eat out/socialize out?
Ex-college - Invite them to your house and cook for them. Should cost substantially less.
If they invite you, I've found that either outright lying or simply arranging a sufficiently busy schedule to provide excuses prevent us from spending 20% of our (when I say our, I really mean DW) superior home-cooked food budget on a single meal (not unusual) works well enough. Of course eventaully, you won't be invited anymore.
If you do want to be invited, consider this the cost of your "socializing"-hobby.
Fact is, that there's a substantial fraction, especially in the 20-something demographics, who have zero cooking skills (I mean, bordering on ridiculous, like these guys couldn't fry an egg to save their life... well okay ... they could save their life (by eating the resulting randomly raw/carbonized egg material) but they wouldn't enjoy that at all) and who eat out every single day all the time because they're 100% incompetent. These guys actually think they're eating better food at restaurants. In my experience, the only way to reach these guys is for you to cook something better at home and have them eat it. If you're a decent cook, this shouldn't be hard if you ask them what they like and involve them somewhat in the process.
E.g. by showing them how to easily make something that they just paid $20 for in some restaurant.
If they invite you, I've found that either outright lying or simply arranging a sufficiently busy schedule to provide excuses prevent us from spending 20% of our (when I say our, I really mean DW) superior home-cooked food budget on a single meal (not unusual) works well enough. Of course eventaully, you won't be invited anymore.
If you do want to be invited, consider this the cost of your "socializing"-hobby.
Fact is, that there's a substantial fraction, especially in the 20-something demographics, who have zero cooking skills (I mean, bordering on ridiculous, like these guys couldn't fry an egg to save their life... well okay ... they could save their life (by eating the resulting randomly raw/carbonized egg material) but they wouldn't enjoy that at all) and who eat out every single day all the time because they're 100% incompetent. These guys actually think they're eating better food at restaurants. In my experience, the only way to reach these guys is for you to cook something better at home and have them eat it. If you're a decent cook, this shouldn't be hard if you ask them what they like and involve them somewhat in the process.
E.g. by showing them how to easily make something that they just paid $20 for in some restaurant.
Re: Dealing with social pressure to eat out/socialize out?
Be the friend who sets things up, then you're in control. If you see these people often enough, they might get bored of you and quit inviting you out (-:
Re: Dealing with social pressure to eat out/socialize out?
I have this issue as well from time to time. I see it as a cost of friendships and I weight it up to determine how worthwhile those relationships are each time. I think the only way to beat it is to be the person who organises first and makes the suggestions. Being creative. Often people are stoked with your own innovative ideas and will come along and are pleased they get to save money. I often suggest things like watching the sun set with fish and chips and wine on one of the many volcanoes in our city, going for a picnic where everyone brings something in one of the beautiful parks, or having a pot luck dinner at my place.