Adjusting to the Suburban Wasteland.

[Slevin]

Due to needing to be close to my work, I have found myself living in the suburbs . The society around here is focused mostly on shopping malls, and large chain stores/restaurants. In fact, to buy anything I need from a small or local business usually involves 30+ minutes of car travel . Coming from a town with beautiful trees, a thriving cultural/social scene, plenty of local businesses, and an overall more relaxed and comfortable focus and feel, this is a veritable shock to my system. Especially the social aspect.

So far I have been trying to meet others with the same sort of interests and values via sites like meetup.com, but it seems that the close homesteading and sustainable gardening/permaculture groups only offer expensive paid classes as their meetup opportunities. I'm not sure its worth $15-30 an hour to join one of these just in the interest of making friends!

Has anyone else gone through this transformation before? What are the best ways to live and cope with the suburban wasteland? Is the best course of action the direct route of finding a different job and moving to a non-suburban atmosphere?

[wood]

I have never been in your situation, but have you considered trying to start a meetup yourself? Maybe other people would be interested in that.

Otherwise, adapt or move on.

[Cerberusss]

Is biking doable? You say 30+ minutes but a long driving time doesn't always match a large distance.

[sky]

How close do you live to work? Is your workplace in a suburban area?

[vexed87]

As wood says, just start your own alternative meetups that a free, I'm sure there will be lots of takers!

[GandK]

Has anyone else gone through this transformation before? What are the best ways to live and cope with the suburban wasteland? Is the best course of action the direct route of finding a different job and moving to a non-suburban atmosphere?

I feel your pain. DAILY. Every miserable twinge.

The first step is acceptance. This is what hell looks like. Maybe hell has a little more disco music, but otherwise, you're in it.

Second is more acceptance. The citizens of hell believe they've found utopia. Expensive entertainment items, homes the size of museums and food with no nutritional value is plentiful there. They've found the mythical Trough of Plenty! They will not engage on the topics you're interested in. They're afraid you want to redecorate hell, and you will have a very serious fight on your hands if they think you have a chance at actually doing it. BEST case scenario is that they think you're a kook and you are socially marginalized.

One does not adjust to hell. One makes a plan to get oneself out of it.

If you must stay put for a while, you're doing the right thing socially already: joining groups, both online and off. In an area like you're describing, I think you'd have better luck joining outdoor groups (hiking, biking, etc.) or volunteering for something like Habitat for Humanity. If there's an REI near you, get a schedule of their free courses and go to a few of those. Find people interested in permaculture that way, instead of looking for something so granular initially.

[Scott 2]

The people who share your interests are still out there, it's just harder to find them. The person running a class or meetup is a good place to tap into that community. Online forums might point you in the right direction as well.

In my experience, pretty much forget about anyone raising kids. If you aren't going to help raise the kids, or get them money for their kids, they don't have time for you.

[cmonkey]

This is what hell looks like. Maybe hell has a little more disco music, but otherwise, you're in it.

Second is more acceptance. The citizens of hell believe they've found utopia. Expensive entertainment items, homes the size of museums and food with no nutritional value is plentiful there. They've found the mythical Trough of Plenty!

This gave me a good laugh.

Agreed. We are simply walling ourselves in (literally, with hedges and fencing). When your neighbor is constantly having his lawn sprayed for crabgrass/charlie and its upwind of your organic homestead, its a necessity. Although it does nothing about the road noise and lawn mowers.

[Slevin]

@Cerberusss : Unfortunately here it is mainly a problem of distance, not one of traffic yet. Good small businesses are all 15+ miles away. I haven't looked thoroughly, but it may be possible to take public transport to these places too. I'm not sure how constructive this would be in the end due to the very suboptimal public transport system in the area.

@sky : I currently live about 12-13 miles from my workplace. I have biked to work and back a few times per week, but right at the moment my bike is out of commission. Unfortunately the workplace is out of the way of almost everything else around here by around 10 miles. There is one close-by housing area to it, and I can consider moving to it but it would probably double my current rent cost . For now my car ownership costs is probably $130 with insurance, gas, and repairs, while moving closer to work would probably end up increasing my rent by about $400. It also has only one services store, a Safeway...

@vexed87, wood : These are good ideas, I will look into it! I probably need to get more knowledgeable about these subjects before starting full blown classes, but I can always just try and get a meet up going.

@GandK : Thanks for the ideas as well. I'll check out the local REI classes and see what I can get from there. I also agree with you about the people having very different values. They see the houses and cars and 50+ hour workweeks to earn them as a blessing, and that is a view I will never share. I can't change them, and its not constructive to either party involved to try and change their views either. I just need to find others around that hold the same values as mine. It may be a little more constructive to look on the MMM forums as well (as I was just reminded yesterday that these exist) since his audience is more focused on the suburban consumer than ERE is.

[Cerberusss]

@Cerberusss : Unfortunately here it is mainly a problem of distance, not one of traffic yet. Good small businesses are all 15+ miles away.

Ah yes. And you could get used to that distance, but man, it takes so much time.

[George the original one]

Amazingly, through the wonderful tool called the internet, I've managed to meet a couple people out here in the boonies that share my interests. There are only about 15000 people within 15 miles of this retirement residence in country and it was the internet which helped me find the right locals.

[dot_com_vet]

I've been there! The suburbs had no town square, the restaurants were franchises, and adding variety required lots of driving. It was an adjustment at first. I questioned my decision, as I moved from a "top ten" small town to one of the regions fastest growing suburbs.

I remember spending a week in Naperville, realizing it was exactly the same as the suburb I lived in. They are all the same!

On the plus side, the suburbs were affluent, lots of trails, and beautiful landscapes. I could walk to work. Online shopping let me avoid driving everywhere eventually. And I met a ton of people and adopted a dog.

I eventually moved an older part of town and bought a house that is more traditional. Otherwise I'd be a slave to a McMansion and ERE would never be possible.

[Solvent]

I don't know. How hard have you tried to get to know your neighbors?

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/08/19/urban-tribe/

You could be surprised and find interesting people all around you who don't necessarily frequent the same online spaces you've been looking in. Although I'm sure there are a few suburbs out there that are horrible through-and-through, I also think it's slim odds that wherever you've found yourself, you couldn't at least find a couple of interesting people.