Here's the communications problem. I don't know what the name for this model is but it must have one since it seems trivial. Without loss of generality, a message is transmitted from one person to another like this:
What I think ------->How I speak my thought -----> How you listen to what I say -----> What you think about it.
Each arrow is a filter. Lets call them brain2voice, voice2ear, and ear2brain.
You can easily demonstrate how shitty these wetware filters are by playing a few rounds of Telephone
If you're talking to yourself, then the three filters are identical. Your biggest potential communications problem will be an inability to turn a thought into words (brain2voice). The art of writing or speaking is that skill. However, once you've done that you have no problems understanding the important part of the words (voice2ear) and putting them in their right context (ear2brain). That is because all these filters are the same one filter
and one you understand really well (you have a lifetime's worth of experience).
If you want to communicate a message to other people, you're dealing 2 different filters (voice2ear and ear2brain) for each and every single person you talk to. If you have perfect knowledge of all these filters you can communicate well with that person. This is probably the case with your spouse at least eventually. It's not the case if you find yourself complaining that "they just don't get me". In that case, you might try rephrasing (voice2ear). If that doesn't work either, the problem is in the ear2brain filter.
What ThisDinosaur is requesting is a complete set of filters that actually works reliably (100%?) with everybody.
We don't have that.
What we do have is a set of 16 ear2brain and 16 brain2voice filters called MBTI which you can try and tune on the fly once you get comfortable with them. Alternatively, we have 4 temperament ear2brain filters and 4 interaction style voice2ear styles like Clarice mentioned. This is WAY better than having nothing or just one. This is why I like typing. Having 90% transmission efficiency with an typed person is better than having 30%-50% efficiency with an untyped person.
Add: There are of course also other ways of communicating thoughts like art, music, math, charts, and diagrams. These are less common in the general population than the universal ability to comprehend language (at least as long as the sentences are not too long