Mommy, my sister is teasing me!

[secretwealth]

Are there any joys greater than having "fuck-you" money?
I might add one of the great things about being a freelancer is that, if you have enough clients, you can similarly turn down work that's too much of a hassle.

[Stahlmann]

hmmm.

[TopHatFox]

I think I read somewhere that doctors and lawyers are among the two most regretted career paths

You really just want enough to pay for a small house in a (resilient) area you want to live, healthcare insurance, safe transport, healthy food, and reasonable hobbies. Most everything else is bullshit meant to keep people at their desks working 60 hour weeks.

If I earn 25k/yr working from home 20 hours/week, while enjoying a paid off 150k 750 sq foot house house in a western state with plenty of time to enjoy the outdoors, I am infinitely richer than the lawyer in NYC earning 250k/yr and working 80 hour weeks. In fact, I may very well literally be richer, because the lawyer is getting taxed three ways and may only be able to pay for the interest in their massive student, home, and auto loans.

[Sclass]

Uhh wow @Stahlmann where do you dig this stuff up and why?

Man, a lot has changed since I whined like a little kid about my siblings. Back in 2012 my siblings were attacking me because I was lazy and irresponsible. Four months into retirement (I’d retired in May and posted this in August) my family hadn’t really figured out I had a properly engineered retirement. It turned out all of their unpleasant behavior came out of sour grapes. Plain old garden variety jealously. And a dash of misunderstanding. Nothing exciting or new.

Fast forward seven years. Sister makes her way from a newer BMW to her same office with a walker at 59. She has a crippling disease disorder but cannot stop working...or so she says. Actually I believe her. She’s so messed up any logical person would take a leave of absence but she says her job will disappear.

Brother was laid off from his job a few quarters ago. He’s 60. I asked my dad what he’s doing and he apparently still shows up for work regular hours because they let him work for free till they get another round of VC. He hasn’t told me this in our conversations but it sounds sad. He likely has saved more money than my sister. Actually dad admitted he’s helping with some of bro’s bills. I’ve kept out of it.

Not quite the ending I predicted when I put down the first post here. Funny how things play out in this wonderful real time experiment we all live in. It’s actually a little unsettling to read my posts and see where I was back then. I was upset and it didn’t really matter in the big picture.

You really just want enough to pay for a small house in a (resilient) area you want to live, healthcare insurance, safe transport, healthy food, and reasonable hobbies. Most everything else is bullshit meant to keep people at their desks working 60 hour weeks.

You bet. It’s taken me seven years of retirement to figure this out. I was kind of lost in 2012. Now I just want the above. And a warm blanket.

[Stahlmann]

:--DDD

[Did]

10 years on from the original post. Is the sister still working with a walker? Is the brother still working for free @60 and asking family to pay his bills?

Does sclass have a warm blanket?

[Sclass]

My sister doesn’t tease me anymore. Yes, she still works with a walker. WFH has helped.

Same with my brother with the fake WFH job. Yes he’s still faking it.

I’ll never get what I want from my family. I’ve estranged them since the pandemic started.

[suomalainen]

I’ll never get what I want from my family.

This should be printed on every birth certificate.

[ertyu]

+ 1, I don't think I began to fully mature as a human until I realized this and I'm embarrassed to admit how old I was before it finally sunk in.

[Sclass]

Aww man. Exactly! I was so upset when I posted this thread a decade ago. Now I’m just upset I didn’t end my relationship with my family back in 2012. I had plenty of reasons. I just let it continue.

Oh well time to move on. Too bad I didn’t believe them when they showed me themselves the first time. But who can?

[fiby41]

I think I read somewhere that doctors and lawyers are among the two most regretted career paths

I think the transition cost has something to do with it. Everyone gets bored of the grind once a while, but when someone gets saturated in job A can dabble in job B, it reduces the feeling of being locked in. Example: if a programmer / language learner/translator/interpreter, gets bored with a certain language A, they can look into/ study something else over the weekend and be fresh / grateful on Monday morning that they already know something about A and could make the transition to B in a few months.

But after investing 6 years into studying dentistry one can hardly become a orthopedic. They are stuck for the next 30 years with a choice they made when they were 18-20.

[Frita]

Just an observation that lawyers seem to be more able or willing to leave that profession behind than doctors. I wonder if the public perception has something to do with it (i.e., lack of trust and respect) or something about personality.

[Henry]

My sister doesn’t tease me anymore. Yes, she still works with a walker.

If she talks shit again, hide her walker.

[suomalainen]

They are stuck for the next 30 years with a choice they made when they were 18-20.

You could be talking about marriage.

[Lemur]

From what I remember reading in "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" by Harry Browne, the author brings this sunk cost topic up quite a bit. And he relates it not only to finance but to relationships and other life conditions.

I'm rephrasing, but he stated something to the effect of there isn't really such a thing as being stuck. Its just that people are (1) unable to overcome / let go of the sunk costs and (2) unwilling to pay the exit fee. Something to think about.

[Sclass]

Exit tax is a really cool concept. I’ve never looked at things this way but somebody recently explained the concept to me. Made a lot of sense. You can get out of all kinds of things if you’re willing to pay a one time penalty fee.

The latest chapter of this story is my sister retired. Dad passed a few months ago and left her a big enough inheritance to cancel out her debts and leave her with a good monthly income. She’s nice now.

A lot of her meanness was just good old fashioned sibling rivalry. I can forgive her for that.

[loutfard]

Family scan:
- sibling 1: ERE-compatible spending, permanently low income due to health damage, nice and respectful, significant other: good life style , nice and respectful
- sibling 2: scrooge mcduck focused on getting rich above literally anything else; aggressivity softened into refusing to communicate; respectful more ERE compatible significant other
- sibling 3: good life and decent income; softening aggressive; significant other: good life low income due to health damage, respectful attitude
- parents: modest ERE compatible; ever supporting without any judging at all; aging will soon push them out of this role