How to maintain friendships frugally?

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
Jason
Posts: 2758
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by Jason »

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Tue Jun 23, 2020 12:00 am
I think about how the people who were supposed to be my best friends abandoned me at my time of greatest need. In that context it seems silly for having agonized (with assistance from their verbal abuse) over having not spent $100-$500 on {insert extravagant social activity} in hindsight.
You are better off losing friends because you would not partake in their demeaning and despicable misongystic behavior than succumbing to their vial indulgences. You are not only the better man, but one whom I would be proud to call a friend. I hope you continue to remain steadfast in your straight and narrow path. You are a shining example to us all.

Workingsucks
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:43 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by Workingsucks »

I just tried to have another small get together with friends and all but one bailed on me to go out to the bars which have just reopened a few weeks ago. I guess it's over for some friendships. But I can always find other things that make me happy. I've been thinking of doing my crafts more often and opening up an etsy shop.

I'm sure I'll feel some FOMO in the future but I'm really okay being alone most of the time. I'm not afraid to be a cat lady when I'm FIRE. :)

Workingsucks
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:43 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by Workingsucks »

I suppose I was just trying to keep this group because it's mostly ladies like myself. Whenever I try to make friends I usually end up with guy friends who have secret ulterior motives. What's a girl to do? Oh well.

Arpe
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2020 11:45 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by Arpe »

An example could be inviting your friends over for beers and play some board games at your place instead of going out at a bar. I genuinely think that it's a lot more fun, as you don't have to behave in a certain way when you are not out in public. The beers are cheaper and you'll have the fun of playing board games as a bonus activity.

Also, activities such as playing basketball, football, etc. on public places are cheap, fun, and healthy.

If you want to be frugal, you will have to be creative in your way of approaching friendships - what is the point of FI if you are relatively friendless?

All the best on your journey :D

ertyu
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by ertyu »

Workingsucks wrote:
Tue Jun 23, 2020 1:37 pm
What's a girl to do?
Hm, seems like the bars are this group's "group thing." But that doesn't necessarily mean you'll need to throw the whole group out. Are there people you'd like to invite one-on-one, in environments where you'd actually have chance to talk and develop deeper friendships? Over coffee, or for long nature walks, or idk.

If you're into crafts, I'd say look for meet-ups in your area around that. In general, I second seeing if you can join a group that already does activities you like. Or start one? Call it Frugal Fabulous Females or some such to keep them pesky dick-havers away :lol:?

Workingsucks
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:43 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by Workingsucks »

ertyu wrote:
Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:48 pm


If you're into crafts, I'd say look for meet-ups in your area around that. In general, I second seeing if you can join a group that already does activities you like. Or start one? Call it Frugal Fabulous Females or some such to keep them pesky dick-havers away :lol:?
I love this idea! :)

nomadscientist
Posts: 174
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:54 am

Re: How to maintain friendships frugally?

Post by nomadscientist »

I find I do not regret money spent on friends; it needs to be put in perspective. Handful of $50 gifts a year does not break my budget. People remember this stuff, especially if tailored to them and your relationship with them, much more than they remember you not joining for some bar outing. Especially as most of their friends will not do this stuff.

However, if bar outings is basically what they like most of the time, and you basically do not like bar outings ever, then you why are you friends with them at all? The lack of social context for a friendship is the real problem with guy who has organised his life around not spending money wanting to be friends with bar person.

BTW, I am not going to lecture any otherwise isolated person about not trying to hang on to an acquaintance so as to not feel alone. I've moved around a lot, so I know that feeling. But learn to separate this kind of relationship from an actual friendship in your mind.

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