I'm gonna stay out of the "deficiency" realm. Mainly because everyone has strengths and weakness and I don't necessarily think all weakness should be defined as deficient. Although if a weakness is holding someone back from something they would otherwise like/want to accomplish, then I think it's fair to define it as deficient. However, this is very much a self diagnosis, so I leave that to the individual.
jacob wrote: ↑
Wed Sep 04, 2019 7:31 am
Huge compared to what?
I think this is important, so I'm going to address it using an analogy most will understand. The best description I can use for the advantages of strong social skills; it's similar to the type of advantages very physically attractive people seem to hold on the opposite sex. An extremely physically attractive person tends to hold peoples attention by simply being present. Most people tend to want to please them. They can literally hold a room captive. They are given more opportunities because people like to be in their presence. The advantage is small, but tangible and ever-present in interpersonal interactions. We've all noticed this at some point, no?
Now, high level social skills are not as immediate (people have to be given the chance to experience it from you), nor as quite as impactful. However, they are sort-of a low level of the same concept. I would guess this is because sex drive is a more base level phenomenon than social drive in our minds. Yet I think social, emotional, limbic, whatever, tends to trump the intellectual.
I think I may rile up some folks using this analogy. So, I'll quickly concede that extreme physical attractiveness also has drawbacks and takes a ton of work to achieve and maintain. So I'm not saying these people have the world on a platter. Just that they have an advantage in human interactions and that advantage is similar to folks who have very strong social skills. You almost have to experience it to understand it.
As far as what someone has to give up to focus on social skills... I can't answer that. I'm sure it takes much more energy from introverts. I tended to develop it naturally over time and actually made a career switch, partially to work on the parts I had neglected, see my comment to ego below. I do disagree that it requires regular maintenance/upkeep. Human relationships require this upkeep, although probably not as much as you may think, depending on the relationship. I have a ton of old friends I rarely see, but when we are together, it's like we were never apart. The social skills themselves are turned on at will once learned to a level unconscious competence, like any other skill.
wrt to a Wheaton scale, I could try my hand at it if it doesn't develop on it's own from @daylen and others. At the moment I'm pretty busy wrapping up this whole full time work thing, so I may not have much time for the next week. I will say they type of person an introvert would normally label as annoyingly extroverted is not an example of someone with high social skills. This is likely an extrovert with less than adequate social skills. Although I will admit to sometimes enjoying being the "life of the party", I also acknowledge/understand that overly boisterous behavior irritates many and try to avoid taking the stage for too long. A high Wheaton level person is the type of person most people would describe as having "an instant connection with".
Thanks for the compliment, it actually means alot you view me as kind. As an ENTJ, being empathetic, particulalry with certain types of people, was not an easy task to accomplish. I would say 25% of the reason I became a nurse was to work on this part of my personality.