Ways of improving your social capital?

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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Re: Ways of improving your social capital?

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:49 am

Campitor wrote: Neutrals are supposedly the ambassadors between introverts and extroverts - we facilitate the communications between both sides which allows organizations to function but we also pay a penalty for this - we tend to get overworked, over utilized, and burnt out at higher rates than pure extroverts/introverts.
Amen. Classic example being the Art Gallery Owner who has to simultaneously attempt to sell/explain work from an Artist's black period to affluent extroverted Businessman and advise/explain to the Artist why the general public isn't "like"-ing on her black period pieces. The Scientist is right down there in the Introverted Disciplined Innovator-Technician Abyss with the Artist, so same rule of thumb applies to their "black" works such as global warming models.

OTOH, I am currently more cheerful about my data science studies, because I recently read that a human who possesses all of the qualities theoretically needed by a data scientist is known as a "unicorn", so it's more sensible to put together a team, and at least one of the people on the team needs to be able create and present a results-based narrative for intended audience of stake-holders, and that's something that I can do fairly easily compared to coding for 12 hours straight.

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Re: Ways of improving your social capital?

Post by subgard » Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:49 am

1) approaching people you don't know yet and talking to them without somebody you already know introducing you
Ask questions. The blander, more boring, and non-intrusive, the better. Bland statements about the weather are good. Don't try to be funny, interesting or witty. The vibe you're going for is "I say bland pleasantries to strangers all the time, and it doesn't matter to me whether they engage me or not."

2) making a good first impression that causes people to think of you roughly the way you want them to think of you
Don't try to do this. Focus on making the other person comfortable. It was a big paradigm shift for me when I stopped worrying what people thought of me and started focusing my attention on them. I realized how insecure most people are. I realized just how much they were concerned with making a good impression on me. If you practice not worrying about yourself, and focusing all your attention on others, you will give off a kind of "dominant" vibe. People will be worried about what you think of them, they will try to please you.

3) small talk
Don't worry about having an interesting conversation. For most humans, conversation is not about content. It's about the good feelings they get from interacting with another human. Just accept it, and roll with it.

4) how to move on from small talk to bigger talk
Be accepting and nonjudgmental. Create a comfortable conversational environment where the other person is not afraid to be vulnerable.

5) following up on your conversation so they become a friendly acquaintance instead of just someone you met once
Be pleasant to be around, and they will want to follow up with you. This is kind of zen - Just focus on other people, paying attention to their emotional vibe, facilitating them being themselves (if that makes sense?), and they will want to be around you.

6) staying in touch with them regularly enough that they become a casual friend that invites you places and sends you opportunities
Make people feel good, and they'll want to stay in touch with you.

7) how to deepen the relationship to become a close friend that you can go to for emotional support if desired
karma. Be the emotionally supportive person you want others to be.

8) how to manage conflicts in the friendship
Hand grenades and baseball bats. Nah, if you pay attention to the other person and behave like an adult, you can head off conflict before it gets to that stage.

On the other hand, there are a lot of emotionally needy, manipulative, unpleasant assholes out there. You got to know when to cut people off.

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