Random Relationship Derailment Thread

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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Augustus
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Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

For when threads are derailed by relationship discussions...

Jean
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jean »

I didn't mean that those options are good or Bad. I just mean that they don't existe for men in their 20's, which makes ere the most attractive path for more m'en than women.

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

I think it's probably the more attractive path regardless.

Jean
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jean »

To my (and apparently your) values, yes. People have different values and might rank options differently.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I would like to suggest that it is important to differentiate between two very different modes of functioning which might be referred to as Sugar Baby vs Lentil Baby. A Sugar Baby would be the stereotypical individual who trades youth, beauty, charm, and other associated skills for the posh lifestyle provided by the significant financial resources of another individual. OTOH, a Lentil Baby is the extremely rare individual who consequent to much study in the realms of home economics, perma-culture, finance, modern relationship and systems theory, is able to readily help another individual to reduce personal resource waste and improve over all quality of lifestyle through intelligent process resembling beneficial symbiosis, such as occurs in the fixing of nitrogen by bacteria in the soil gathering near the root nodules of leguminous plants.

For example, in our affluent culture it is highly unlikely to encounter a heterosexual man over the age of 40 who is sharing a bed or a bedroom with another individual in order to save on housing costs. So, from the perspective of a Lentil Baby this is as obviously a situation indicative of resource waste as recyclable beer cans left littered about a walking trail. If this open loop were to be closed by inserting her warm body into this cold wasted bed space, then the thermostat might even be set down by approximately 4 degrees! Even greater resource savings may accrue due to savings on electricity necessary to broadcast internet porn, heart and prostate healthy workout provided reducing future need for expensive pharmaceuticals and surgeries, and expenses related to ownership of non-human pet to provide affectionate touch.

Obviously, when an individual gives fair consideration to the value of all these benefits accrued in relationship to Lentil Baby, it is highly possible he will insist on, at the very least, taking her out for pancakes at some nearby diner the following morning. However, the amazing skill set of a Lentil Baby is such that it is very much within the realm of possibility that she could even cook breakfast for both of them making use of whatever happens to be in his kitchen at the moment!!!! Etc. etc. etc. ...the part where she convinces him that he could retire early and live on his blueberry covered acreage in the shed built for $3500 by some Amish guys.

bigato
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by bigato »

Where can I find them? Hahahaha

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@bigato:

You could try buying a wholesale lot of good quality woman's overalls and offer them up for sale on Craigslist with only slim profit margin.

bigato
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by bigato »

Hahahaha awesome

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

lolz Lentil Babies, I love it

Jean
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jean »

The lentilles baby trade is isually more like : warmth produced by extra muscular mass during thé night against additional ingrédients in thé lentils making lentils great again day After day.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Jean:

Do you mean you can only afford plain lentils if you share them with your lentil baby, but your budget will allow for a couple vegetables otherwise? If that is the case, then you just need to buy your lentil baby a good book on wild foraging and/or dumpster diving. However, it isn't recommended practice to send your lentil baby out dumpster diving on her own. Unfortunately, I have not yet found a Lentil Daddy who is willing to eat anything I might scavenge from a dumpster.

Jean
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jean »

She occasionaly goes dumpster diving on her own. What i mean is that without our agrément, she would be cold at night, and i wouldn't vary my recipes very much despite it getting boring.

Jean
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jean »

Or less metaphorically, you don't reduce your expense level, but you make life much nicer at such an expense level.

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C40
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by C40 »

I'm actually thinking about going to be, I guess, a Lentil Baby for my friends. I want to live with them. They want me to live with them. I don't want to pay rent. They don't really care about rent. I do want to make sure I'm contributing in some way, maybe mostly for my own mental acceptance of not paying rent. So I've discussed/asked/suggested some things I will do for them in exchange for living there. Things like making great coffee most days, personal training and dietary advice for one, fixing an old motorcycle for the other, gardening (which could actually save them a substantial amount of money), obedience training for their dog, and helping with a house project here and there.

Nearly all of these are things I enjoy doing and would do for fun even if I was paying rent.

CS
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by CS »

@c40 It is amazing what people will pay for companionship. Most people are so rigid/have so many personal plans/etc that when one is flexible and can go along with others, it is as valuable as a gold mine.

Get some ballroom dancing training and you are set for life apparently, lol!

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Jean: Gotcha :)

@C40:

Sounds great. I hoped once I described the concept, the young men on this forum would recognize their own potential for achieving Lentil Baby, if not Sugar Baby status. As CS noted, flexibility is very important, and also being unencumbered of your own "babies." For instance, even owning a dog might tip the balance. My permaculture project and adult children keep me tethered to the extent that I still sometimes function more as Lentil Mama than Lentil Baby. Also, throwing sexuality into the mix is also not required except to the extent that your presence is not a limitation on the sexuality of your host(s.)

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Tue Feb 26, 2019 11:26 pm
Taking a community college course to meet women seems like a fun idea to gather more materials for short stories. Not sure how it would work for a 32-year-old.

I agree that dating immigrants is much more viable for an American ERE male. Particularly when I was in my twenties, buried in $1xx,xxx of student debt and living with my parents. The pretty blue-eyed girl next door didn’t care for me much if I couldn’t buy her things and give her a landing pad away from her own parents’ house. Immigrants are much more forgiving of these things.
Older dudes with resources marrying younger girls in asia is so common it's a cliche, the asian girls I've met at very practical in this regard, and since I'm married to one that means I know a ton of them by default and my wife regales me with their relationship sagas, from which I have learned there are a lot of useless assholes in the world. The community college course might be hit or miss just because of the environment, but worth a shot, at least you walk away with a fun experience for low cost and a new skill. Weight will reduce efficiency a little, but I was fat when I bagged mine, wife actually said she liked it because I resembled a bear, now she complains I am too skinny and thinks I am dying of cancer. The mexican muscle preference thing never stopped me, I was never muscly.

I think most of it's just in your head dude. You need to realize how many douche bag men there are out there, and realize that you have high intrinsic worth if you are not a douche bag. Throw in things like money and you can command a high valuation.

CS
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by CS »

@augustus

Your post about your perspective for your daughter on the negative Wheaton levels was a breath of fresh air. You get it exactly. Actually, you sound like my mom - and that is a compliment. She was the one that pushed me to get a Ph.D. (no discussion wanted on ERE usefulness, lol). How it HAS been useful is having some leverage. It almost makes up for not being a man in this society. Combining that with a breadth of experience, several hard to earn degrees, passing difficult certifications, and obtaining hard to get state licenses allows me to charge excellent rates for my time, if I choose to make that trade.

It is a shot of mental health to have safety and security (as much as possible consider black swans, guns in the US and all that.), especially when combined with other ERE elements.

It's a wonderful gift for your daughter.

I will say though, having to have a separate area for this sort of talk reminds me of Bernie BS Sanders. "Stop distracting us with your irrelevant Wymin issues!" complete with a waggin' old white man finger. :lol: :lol: :lol: Nope. They ARE the relevant issues... get with the program. But I'll post here just the same because frankly, it is more interesting to me and I've not the time nor the energy to explain it the unenlightened. :P

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Stahlmann
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Stahlmann »

@cs
You seem to have some kind unrealistic expectations what it means to be man (for most men on this planet).
As living in neocolonized banana republic I don't see many privileges of such situation.

Iirc in usa senate half of the people are millionaires. (In reference to disappointment with old so called socialist. He doesnt support ubi or ubs so aint the real for me :lol: ) Hmmm.

It worth noting that almost everybody who found their safe place will say that the other part of the population is unenlightened. :?

You seem like one lady who I met during my German course, same vibe. Are you medical doctor?

This how ends unlocking browsing on the phone...
Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Feb 27, 2019 5:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

CS wrote:
Wed Feb 27, 2019 1:43 pm
Your post about your perspective for your daughter on the negative Wheaton levels was a breath of fresh air. You get it exactly. Actually, you sound like my mom - and that is a compliment.
Ha! Thanks! A smart skilled empowered and wealthy girl has a better life and more power than most men in the world. The thread switch was more because of off topic responses. Quite a few threads start out with questions like: is this stock a good investment? Then halfway through turn into dating advice. Really what we're doing it making a master thread where that stuff is actually on topic, since it is the same topic running in several threads.
Augustus wrote:
Wed Feb 27, 2019 1:41 pm
I think most of it's just in your head dude. You need to realize how many douche bag men there are out there, and realize that you have high intrinsic worth if you are not a douche bag. Throw in things like money and you can command a high valuation.
Oh and one last thing, for every dumb ass guy you know in the guy population there is his counter part dumb ass girl in the girl population. If you're just aiming at random women for dates you're probably dating in the "below average" section of the gene pool. You ought to be looking for girls that have more in common with you, which is why I mention the hard working want to succeed and improve their lives types, who coincidentally often go to college and are immigrants (why migrate if you aren't looking to improve your life?). Those ones are good matches for some kind of FIRE. My wife told me she was very impressed with my plans for FI when we were dating. I did not detail any specifics like bank account balances until we were a year in though, I don't like gold diggers. Basically you ought to be thinking of what you would think of a girl if she was a dude, and subtract sex from the equation. If you think she's a dumb ass as a dude, you're in the wrong section of the gene pool.

@EdithKeeler had a good quote to the effect of she wasn't about to just hop on any train, she wanted to make sure before she hopped on the train that she wanted to go where it was going. Makes sense right? I have a feeling that if you learn to keep your mouth shut when you're about to say something offensive, listen respectfully, give a shit about their needs, paint a bright picture of where your train is headed, and date girls who want to go to that destination, you'll be beating them off with a stick.

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