ERE shaming

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
prognastat
Posts: 1000
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 8:30 pm
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Re: ERE shaming

Post by prognastat » Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:01 am

To admit that you would be able to do it is to admit that they woud be able to, but are choosing not to inadvertently through their daily choices. That's not something most want to accept. It's much easier to just tell yourself that someone else is delusional and that doing what everyone else does is the correct way.

classical_Liberal
Posts: 894
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: ERE shaming

Post by classical_Liberal » Tue Jul 23, 2019 12:24 am

prognastat wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:01 am
To admit that you would be able to do it is to admit that they woud be able to, but are choosing not to inadvertently through their daily choices. That's not something most want to accept.
This is why I've found, if the subject is broached, provide them an "out". Then they tend to be less confused and/or outright aggressively negative about your situation. Personally, my favorite is kids. Since most people my age (30-40's) have them at home and I do not. When someone wonders how it's possible to go for so long without income, I basically respond that I don't have many "bills" and "you have to remember, I dont have kids". This provides them the mental space to think that I'm somehow very different than them. ie they could be me, except kids are expensive. And to some degree there is truth to it.

Depending on personal situation, the "kids" excuse may not work. Still, you can find something that does. Then, only the most interested will inquire further, and those tend to be the folks that are more open minded. You've given the 99% of others an excuse to not hate you or blame themselves and life can move on.

horsewoman
Posts: 74
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 4:11 am

Re: ERE shaming

Post by horsewoman » Wed Jul 24, 2019 11:45 am

classical_Liberal wrote:
Tue Jul 23, 2019 12:24 am
This is why I've found, if the subject is broached, provide them an "out".
Absolutely! I do have a kid so that avenue does not work 100% for me, but I use our beater cars. I live in Bavaria (AKA The home of BMW), where driving a tiny old FIAT gets you sympathy points all the time. Poor me!

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