An ERE dating site

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
chenda
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by chenda »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sat Feb 06, 2021 2:46 pm
It has been argued that female orgasm is proof of God's existence.
And further suggests God is a girl : )

7Wannabe5
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@chenda:

Yup, I was going to type Goddess, but then I might semi-offend the Atheists, the Conventionally Religious, and the Gender-Neutralists.

I happened upon a bit in "Retrosuburbia" by Holmgren (one of the OGs of permaculture who wrote that he is a fan of Ivan Illich, the author of seminal works on gender) which although intended for quite different purpose, struck me as good answer to question above in this thread about how to describe "masculine" vs "feminine."
Mature and dominant males of most animal and many bird species tend to be strong tasting and tough due to hormone levels. Just as it isn't such a great idea to eat an old bull or billy goat, the king possum in the neighborhood might not be a culinary delight.
OTOH, an old plump female bird, roughly analogous to myself, if stewed in a simmering pot for several hours, might yield up good quantity of mild and quite tasty yellow fat, just perfect for addition of dumplings.

chenda
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by chenda »

@7wannabe5 - The Shatki tradition of Hinduism conceives ultimate reality as metaphorically a woman, and stages of Her menstrual cycle are celebrated. I genuinely think its great that ancient India did not find periods all icky and awkward that they would't incorporate them into their worship.
7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sun Feb 07, 2021 11:13 am
OTOH, an old plump female bird, roughly analogous to myself, if stewed in a simmering pot for several hours, might yield up good quantity of mild and quite tasty yellow fat, just perfect for addition of dumplings.
hehe, for some reason I'm thinking of Hansel and Gretal, which like a lot of those stories I'm sure had all sorts of psycho-sexual themes in it.

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Alphaville
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by Alphaville »

fwiw i've never seen this god you speak of, but i've worshipped many goddesses, and they're real.

and yeah, gallina vecchia fa buon frodo :lol:

chenda
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by chenda »

Alphaville wrote:
Sun Feb 07, 2021 12:24 pm
gallina vecchia fa buon frodo :lol:
I have to start using that phrase :lol:

7Wannabe5
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

“chenda” wrote: I genuinely think its great that ancient India did not find periods all icky and awkward that they would't incorporate them into their worship.
I agree. Another core dichotomy is cyclic/linear, especially as applied to “path.”
gallina vecchia fa buon frodo :lol:
I will have to embroider and frame to hang above my single burner induction plate :lol:

Humorous note would be that I opened a dormant online dating account just to take a look at it and for some reason the algorithm immediately started sending me slews of suggested matches with men in their 70s and nobody who was younger. Some of them actually looked pretty cute to me.

trfie
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by trfie »

I just read the thread about how to get a SO/friend/family on board and was going to jokingly suggest a dating sub-board to avoid having to convince someone. I dismissed it and then saw this thread. Maybe it's not a bad idea? I don't know what the successful marriage statistics are but dealing with money has to be high up.

Not sure how it would work exactly. Would ppl be willing to state their location, age, and gender? Maybe ppl could post from another account in the dating sub-board, but then would it make registrations difficult to moderate?

I didn't read all of the 15 pages and the last couple have gone off on a tangent, was there a consensus?

trfie
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Re:

Post by trfie »

jacob wrote:
Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:27 am
Please do let me know if anyone actually hook up through these forums. That would be kinda cool 8-)
If they do, they should give a donation to jacob.

white belt
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by white belt »

trfie wrote:
Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:37 pm
Not sure how it would work exactly. Would ppl be willing to state their location, age, and gender? Maybe ppl could post from another account in the dating sub-board, but then would it make registrations difficult to moderate?

I didn't read all of the 15 pages and the last couple have gone off on a tangent, was there a consensus?
Any time some kind of ERE/FIRE dating system comes up the consensus seems to be that there just isn’t high enough density of ERE people in an area to make it feasible. There is a FIRE dating app, but I know those who tried using it on the forum said that even in densely populated areas the options are severely limited.

The other issue with FI on FI dating is what 7WB5 and I talked about:
7Wannabe5 wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 4:23 pm
This brings up another reason why FI on FI dating is unlikely to be successful. For instance, if both of you don’t own cars, you are limited to biking distance dating pool. Same applies to “provision of private space for coupling” as you mentioned. Harder to get it on if you are both living in No Visitors Allowed Tube Hotels.

I don't think it is wise to limit your dating pool to only those who are familiar with FI/ERE. It is still such a fringe idea that the vast majority of the population has never heard of it. However, a person may still grok some ERE ideas due to previous exposure to overlapping ideas like DIY, ecology, anti-consumerism, permaculture, minimalism, etc. At the same time, a FI salary(wo)man who is a devoted follower of the 4% rule may not grok systems thinking nor have the skills needed for true ERE as opposed to just FIRE.

Edit: These forums have many happily married members who managed to make things work without a specific dating app that screens for some sort of frugality.

trfie
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by trfie »

That's not really what I meant, eg if there was another sub-board for dating, it wouldn't cost anything. I am not referring to a full-blown, commercial, dating website.

I did not mean for anyone to limit their dating pool to only those familiar with FI/ERE. It's not as if anyone limits themselves to 1 particular physical location either, why would anyone hypothetically limit themselves to only using the ERE dating site and nowhere else!?

If someone is already married, of course they don't need a dating site.

I also think it's overestimated how many ppl on these boards do not have a car, as well as all the lurkers.

trfie
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by trfie »

white belt wrote:
Sun Mar 14, 2021 7:07 pm
There is a FIRE dating app, but I know those who tried using it on the forum said that even in densely populated areas the options are severely limited.
I totally missed that there is already an app, I'm guessing it was probably made well after this thread was started.

white belt
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by white belt »

trfie wrote:
Thu Mar 18, 2021 11:11 am
I totally missed that there is already an app, I'm guessing it was probably made well after this thread was started.
Here you go: https://firedating.me/

I’m not sure when the app was launched but the statistics page says that the gender ratio is 70% male to 30% female, which is around the same gender ratio as other dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. 1729 verified users in the USA.

neenqqqr
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by neenqqqr »

Crusader wrote:
Tue Jan 12, 2021 1:42 pm
Why did it go downhill? I still use it and really like the match algorithm and the questions.
Got bought by Internet Advertising Corporation (or is it Brands?), which owns virtually all the other dating sites with the notable exceptions on jdate, eharmony and bumble) and they got rid of the blog and made it into a tinder clone. The eccentric userbase disappeared and became much more mainstream.
I was on it from the very beginning (I knew the cofounders when we were PhD students together), it is a shame, because OKC used to be something very special.

Crusader
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by Crusader »

neenqqqr wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:41 pm
Yeah, I do remember the user base being much much better, but the website and the algorithms have only been improving over the years, I think. I am not really sure what happened. I attributed it to the shift in people's preferences to not put in a lot of effort into the initial selection process (which I prefer) due to the fast digital age etc, so everyone prefers sites like Bumble as Tinder. But maybe this change of ownership has something to do with it as well. It is a shame.

ertyu
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Re: An ERE dating site

Post by ertyu »

bots happened. right now, these apps aim to keep men on the app for as long as possible and to keep them paying for premium etc subscription. had a friend 7-8 years ago who was employed by one such app though her nda forbade her from discussing which. her job was to string men along as long as possible then ghost them when it came time to meet. she "manned" multiple bot profiles - once the bot had clicked on the guy and liked him or whatever, she took over. she had been unemployed for a long time (this was after 2008) and was desperate for any job. i have heard that similar operations exist in the philippines as well - actual office-fulls of workers.

neenqqqr
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Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 11:15 am

Re: An ERE dating site

Post by neenqqqr »

ertyu wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 8:50 am
bots happened. right now, these apps aim to keep men on the app for as long as possible and to keep them paying for premium etc subscription. had a friend 7-8 years ago who was employed by one such app though her nda forbade her from discussing which. her job was to string men along as long as possible then ghost them when it came time to meet. she "manned" multiple bot profiles - once the bot had clicked on the guy and liked him or whatever, she took over. she had been unemployed for a long time (this was after 2008) and was desperate for any job. i have heard that similar operations exist in the philippines as well - actual office-fulls of workers.
match dot com was finally sued over this bullshit. amazing how they got away with it for so long.

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