Ending Relationships with Persistent Humans

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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7Wannabe5
Posts: 3897
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Ending Relationships with Persistent Humans

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:37 pm

@jacob@Jason: Thanks : ) Sometimes I type okay with my "clammy little baby hands" (disrespectful phrase applied to my person recently; causative of minor empathy with slow-traveler's cuckoo-bananas girl :lol: )

@Ego: No, because you do not appreciate sugar AT ALL, but you do think Mrs.Ego is adorable.

slowtraveler
Posts: 637
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: Ending Relationships with Persistent Humans

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:50 am

Update a week later:
Following day she contacted me dozens of times before I angrily said something along the lines of stop contacting me, I don't trust you. She eventually convinced me to meet for a hug, which spiraled into me coming right back in. I re added her phone back in as her name with the town name instead of as her name with girlfriend.

My heart was more guarded now and she felt it. She complained I did not trust her fully or care about her the same way. I spent more nights with her than without her that week. She wants to move in together.

Fast forward to yesterday, she gets mad at me for getting foot massages and saying hi back to her friends when they say hi to me. She is infuriated at me for even looking at other girls, even though this is a huge double standard. She says she is tired, hurt, and scared. She wants to start over and me to forget everything from before. I say those emotions can be worked through but there are more fundamental conflicts at play that lead to patterns of pain and I don't think either of us are willing to budge on those so we should finish due to those. I spend the night one last time but we don't kiss much, more talking.

She contacts her ex out of fear hat night but tells me about it. The next day, we are in the car together on the way to her work before a bite and me heading home as a last good bye. She sees her name on my phone missing the girlfriend title. I explain that is a week old from when I deleted and re upped her number and she has seen my phone many times so why the anger? Then she texts 2 other guys in front of me, she had previously promised to not do that. Last strike, I'm out. I leave the car during a red light, find my way home, and she does not stop contacting me. She ditches work to come to my house even though I repeatedly say do not come, good bye. Thanks for making the last bye easy. Go to work like you promised your boss.

She manipulates me into actually coming out for just a quick bite. She then doesn't want to get a bite but come inside for a quick 1 hour talk. I refuse. She wants to cook for me one more time, talk one more time, blah blah blah. I catch a few more lies in the conversation. I don't think she can stop them. She eventually leaves angrily after she gets that I genuinely do not want her there and will not let her see my new apartment. I block her number for a while. I think it is finally over.

It feels clearer this time than last. We both know this situation has added far more stress than joy and it is more work than it is worth.

Tldr: block a phone number instead of using willpower. Do not respond. Even a "stop contacting, go away" response often leads to an opening that can domino one to right back to what was left. This goes double for really pretty girls.

As Charlie Munger said in "Poor Charlie's Almanac", "Avoid evil, particularly, if they are attractive members of the opposite sex."

Avoid means to give no attention to.

Sandi_k
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 7:14 pm

Re: Ending Relationships with Persistent Humans

Post by Sandi_k » Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:07 am

What are you, a 12 year old? Block her number and be done with her.

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