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Motorized Horse

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 10:52 am
by Jason
This guy is driving around a neighboring town on a motorized horse. Seems the town is letting him have a go, maybe because it does leave horse shit all over the streets. Public seems to enjoy it.

https://www.nj.com/entertainment/index. ... e_sco.html

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:07 pm
by ffj
The first thing I noticed was the wheelie bar, haha. I get the impression you have to be a certain age to pull this off to be viewed in the eccentric old hoot category and not weird and to be avoided.

There was once an old woman where I live that would invite herself to private social events and claim she was a member of the press, she carried an old camera with her, and everybody would just ignore her and play along. Usually after she had eaten she would be on her way.

I'd like to think when I go crazy everybody will just continue to let me believe I'm not, that would be nice.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:22 pm
by Jason
Good point - the benefits of old man amnesty. Whether it be Santa Claus or George H. Bush, it's like carte blanche to do fuck all. Especially if you're in the chair. I'm getting close to getting my card and believe you me, there will be serious hooting.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 4:26 am
by Jin+Guice
Do you feel responsible for H.W.'s demise now?

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:16 am
by Jason
They'll talk about H.W. statesman, H.W. war hero, H.W. last of The Great Men, H.W. Vice-President, H.W. President, H.W. Father of President, H.W. father of not-President. But me, I'll remember H.W. old man, sitting in his chair with a huge smile and an unseen arm lurking behind an angry intern while his wife pretends to look the other way, the capstone picture of a great American life.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 7:37 am
by OTCW
ffj wrote:
Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:07 pm
I'd like to think when I go crazy everybody will just continue to let me believe I'm not, that would be nice.
We do.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:38 am
by 7Wannabe5
Jason wrote: the capstone picture of a great American life.
Might have to throw "20th Century" in there.
“Momentarily drained of lust, he stares at the remembered contortions to which it has driven him. His life seems a sequence of grotesque poses assumed to no purpose, a magic dance empty of belief. There is no God; Janice can die: the two thoughts come at once, in one slow wave. He feels underwater, caught in chains of transparent slime, ghosts of the urgent ejaculations he has spat into the mild bodies of women. His fingers on his knees pick at persistent threads.”
― John Updike, Rabbit, Run

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:58 am
by Jason
Updike and his white, sex obsessed, aging, disillusioned male protagonists who contemplate every epoch of their life with overwrought discussions revolving around the female genatalia. How can anyone stand reading him? Please, let this generation of great, white narcissists1 finally pass from this earth.

Now, can we please circle back to the motorized horse before I get me tood and JLF shuts this important thread down. I was hoping this would be the one that gets me stickied.

1 David Foster Wallace

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:43 am
by 7Wannabe5
jason wrote:before I get me tood
Used as a verb it kind of evokes a faux Irish accent combined with dentures.

Due to overlapping realms of precocity, I started reading the great white male 20th century narcissists at around the age of 12. So, I was rather surprised when I heard tell that they were misogynists. Of course, it is true that the phrase "into the mild bodies of women" seems a bit dated in the era of Ed Sheeran videos.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:51 am
by Jason
"Just a penis with a thesaurus." - DWF on JU.

But what about the old cowboy with a metal plate in his head riding around on a homemade motorized horse? I'm thinking Elon Musk for the Alzheimers set.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 11:41 am
by ffj
OTCW wrote:
Sat Dec 01, 2018 7:37 am
We do.
All good humor hurts a little, :D.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 11:39 pm
by Jin+Guice
"He authored several books."

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:47 am
by Jason
From all accounts, H.W. can also be termed a gracious loser which makes me think of the moment he lost:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ffbFvKlWqE

It's probably best not to look at your watch during a nationally televised debate.

I guess we're officially done with the motorized horse.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:33 pm
by Jin+Guice
No, dude, the overweight cowboy who chose to live in New Jersey and build a mechanical horse, he authored several books, according to the article.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 8:38 am
by Jason
So he did. So now along with Philip Roth and Bruce Springsteen, we can add "overweight cowboy who built mechanical horse" to our literary pantheon.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 7:01 pm
by Jin+Guice
@Jason: I read your journal and realized that you live in New Jersey. I'm sorry. Perhaps the only upside is that the Cranford Cowboy is within striking distance. You could either A) befriend him and slowly unwind him psychologically or B) build a faster and bigger motorized horse. I'm guessing the end result would be about the same.

Re: Motorized Horse

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:03 pm
by Jason
(c) With the recent legalization of both medical marijuana and sports betting, the NJ version of the Kentucky Derby - motorized horses jockeyed by chemo patients racing down the streets with a classic Bon Jovi's faux cowboy song blasting out of some dirtbag's GTO. People can bet on both which horse wins the race and which jockeys cross the finish line still alive.