Flatmate hanging around the house

All the different ways of solving the shelter problem. To be static or mobile? Roots, legs, or wheels?
thrifty++
Posts: 1171
Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 3:46 pm

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by thrifty++ »

.
Last edited by thrifty++ on Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jacob
Site Admin
Posts: 15908
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:38 pm
Location: USA, Zone 5b, Koppen Dfa, Elev. 620ft, Walkscore 77
Contact:

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by jacob »

It's hard to comment without knowing all the details. "Busy and active" means different things to different people and may not necessarily mean leaving the house. What you're describing sounds like a typical homebody and presuming that "busy and active" (see #9) implies leaving the house might be perceived as slightly insulting. At this point, I have no solutions other than taking [this life lesson] into account when vetting the next flatmate. Seek long haul truck drivers, oil rig workers, pilots, traveling salesmen, etc. OTOH, I also understand an introvert's need for some alone-time.

Your sanitizing schedule is a bit on the vigorous side of things, meaning I wouldn't naturally expect the random person to fall in sync with it. To put in other words, if you were paying someone else to scrub a 2-person house on a weekly basis, you'd be a really good customer :mrgreen: (I have a couple of family members in the business so I know what's "average"). When I've lived with others, the system that worked best used a sheet of paper (displayed in a prominent place) that had a list of EXACTLY what needed to be done at the top (e.g. scrub sink with bleach, windex on windows, wipe down counters 1 and 2, ...) followed by a list with dates (week ..., 25, 26, 27, ...) and a place for people to sign their name. One rotten apple spoils the bunch meaning as soon as anyone starts slipping, many will use it as an excuse not to put in effort either.

BeyondtheWrap
Posts: 598
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:38 pm
Location: NYC

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by BeyondtheWrap »

CS wrote:If I paid money to share a place, my expectation would be that I could stay 24/7/52 weeks a year if I felt like it.
Agreed, the flatmate is not doing anything wrong by being there.
thrifty++ wrote:I am a little surprised a few people have expressed a view that it is expected to occupy a place 24/7 for days on end without leaving for so much as ten minutes. Would you really be ok with it if someone was doing this in your place? What would make this behaviour more acceptable and more of a personal preference and requiring of pre-move in discussion than other typical flatmate annoyances?
This is not a behavior; she is not actually doing anything other than existing in the space. If that's your problem, it sounds like you shouldn't have flatmates. The thing is, if she's paying rent then it's her place too.

Annemarie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:16 am

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by Annemarie »

I can understand the need for being alone in the apartment but simply staying in your own home (and it is her home) can never be an invasion of someone else's privacy. So of course it is not something you can take up with her, as it is absolutely none of your business.

Wrt cleaning I suggest you try to bring it up, but be aware that your cleaning routines probably aren't considered standard by very many people. Being part of a cleaning schedule is of course expected when you share an apartment, but people have very different ideas of what "normal cleaning" is (not to mention the frequency!), so it really should be discussed upfront before agreeing on sharing a apartment.

JamesR
Posts: 947
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 9:08 pm

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by JamesR »

@thrifty++

I guess now that you've discovered your roommate is a homebody you can just change your perception of that.. Just act as if she wasn't home, and be true to your normal at-home behaviour.

henrik
Posts: 757
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: EE

Re: Flatmate hanging around the house

Post by henrik »

How did you end up working out the situation with your flatmate?

Post Reply