My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

How to avoid signing your life over to a mortgage
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Johnny
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:00 am

My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Johnny »

I presently live at my mother-in-law's house with my wife and we're both paying rent for a room in the house; however my mother-in-law is now selling the house and we need to relocate and we have under three months.

We live in Ontario, Canada. Given this, what would be our best course of action for housing?

Neither of us know much about mortgages though we're considering getting our own home. I specifically wanted to ask online on this forum before possibly signing ourselves up for a 30-year mistake.

Should we just find another room to rent somewhere else? Go for a triplex and househack? Get a 30-year mortgage on "some type of loan" and rent out one of the spare bedrooms and pay virtually nothing?

How can we walk out of this scathe free? We'd eventually like to own our own home but I'm not entirely sure if this is the best time for it.

I'm 23. She's 21. We both work minimum wage jobs at 25 - 38 hours a week.

Advice?

Alphaville
Posts: 2466
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:50 am
Location: Quarantined

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Alphaville »

NEVER buy a house in a hurry


go find some caretaking situation and save your money and think it through?

i went to look on craigslist but “ontario” search throws something like 20 cities

ertyu
Posts: 1520
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by ertyu »

If you can househack, do. It's the best of all worlds, though not always possible. Second best option is renting a room. You guys seem comfortable staying in a room and sharing it, so i'd go with that. the only drawback to "rent a room together" is if it puts unnecessary pressure on your relationship, but it seems that for you guys this is not an issue.

Alphaville
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Location: Quarantined

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Alphaville »

ertyu wrote:
Tue Sep 08, 2020 12:07 am
If you can househack, do. [...]Second best option is renting a room.
and basically that’s it. they both work minimum wage less than full time. fortunately in canada where their healthcare is covered.

but you can’t ere with no assets. living on very little a year is predicated on owning a home free and clear, and you can’t own a home without a way to pay for it. right now housing would be op’s biggest expense.

i recall @johnny’s thread about wanting to buy a supercheap house that is also walkable to work so they wouldn’t have to buy a car. not sure how that was resolved.

all of these things pull in opposite directions, and eventually something’s gotta give.

for canadians, there’s a very funny reality tv show by gail vaz-oxlade called “till debt do us part.” low production values, but oh so addictive hahaha. she goes to visit couples who are in financial trouble and puts them on a strict regime. it’s not ere, she expects them to work till retirement, but oh it’s a great start. and yeah, funny.

Johnny
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:00 am

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Johnny »

We're thinking of getting a Conventional Loan or an FHA Loan for a mortgage on a house under $200k. We'd have her grandfather co-sign for the loan. We also wouldn't mind renting out one of the spare bedrooms if we truly needed the additional income (or could househack our mortgage through that method).

Not even sure if we can do this yet as we haven't:
- Asked her grandfather yet
- Don't have much saved for a down-payment (about $5000)
- Not very high-paying of jobs to begin with


Thoughts on this?

Alphaville
Posts: 2466
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:50 am
Location: Quarantined

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Alphaville »

once when i was traveling through the middle east i met this bedouin dude, and while chatting about this and that he told me that when he got married his relatives got together and built his wife and him a house. so they had their start in life.

that system works well because the next time someone gets married he'd help them build, and so forth. "social capital" is real.

but the burden is shared by the whole community, in the present. no single person is on the hook for this, and not for the foreseeable future. their involvement ends when the construction is finished. sure, there will be other weddings. so eventually you put back into the system what you got from it.

here, on the other hand, you'd be asking a lone old man to assume the whole debt for which you can't qualify on your own, potentially ruining his retirement, and at the risk of souring what seems like an important family relationship. it’s a huge ask, risky as fuck, 10 kinds of wrong, and should be a hard nope in my eyes.

now, if you got the relatives together and throw a party and feed them ribs and a keg of beer and pass the hat asking for help with the down payment--that would be fine. a wedding is exactly that: you throw a party, they give you gifts to help get you set up.

so this is a long way to say: gifts from family are fine, but debts are a different story. don't get other people involved in your debts, especially huge long-term debts, especially if you're not prepared to afford them on your own. the potential for disaster is huge.

at your age you should probably focus on your skills/education and increasing your income. the longer you do minimum wage work the longer you're stuck in it, till they replace you with a new high school graduate or a robot. the economy needs skilled labor; if you can provide it you will earn well.

Johnny
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:00 am

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Johnny »

Was my wife's idea. Her grandfather signed for her mothers mortgage when she got it (and she's now selling the house). So my wife came up with the idea to ask if he'd sign for our mortgage.

Secondly, yes I'd love to make more. Easier said than done. So much is a hassle financially right now for reason beyond what I've explained in this particular thread.

Anyhow... we don't know what we're going to do... weighing our options... would love to start a mortgage and our own home but we haven't decided on anything yet...

Alphaville
Posts: 2466
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:50 am
Location: Quarantined

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by Alphaville »

i’m sorry i don’t know your full situation because on the internet we suffer from “what you see is all there is.” so all i have to form an opinion is what you state here. but the numbers show categorically that you can’t afford a mortgage that size.

your real problem is not that you need a place to move, but that you don’t make enough money to buy a home for that price. and i see no plan to make more and pay off the massive loan.

your job situation seems precarious too, which increases your risk of default. in other words it seems to me you’re putting the cart before the horse: buy first, earn later.

from the info you present here you need to increase your income firsr, to at least double, consistently. then save your down payment, then you can take on such an obligation.

the problem at your stage in life should be not what house to buy, but how to earn a better living. part time minimum wage with no assets is a very insecure place.

again, i only know what you tell us, but the foremost question in your mind right now should be how to increase your earnings, not how to hack your way into a mountain of debt.

live cheaply, stay mobile. be free to go where you can find jobs/education/a career.

yes things are difficult with covid right now, but i play online games (lol, guilty as charged) with a group of canadians who work in the trades, and they all make a solid living in various industries (oil, mining, paper, construction, etc.). some got furloughed temporarily with the pandemic, but eventually all went back to work, with good pay. their skills are in demand.

i don’t know what industry you work in, or what opportunities for advancement they have in it, but unless you’re independently wealthy already, you need a better situation before you can think of getting chained to a massive loan and a stupid building with no clear plan for repayment.

and that’s not even ere— that’s just mainstream personal finance, still too risky for this forum.

read this for more:
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/h/housepoor.asp

best wishes and don’t fuck it up.

ertyu
Posts: 1520
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: My Wife And I Are Being Forced To Move, What Housing Situation Should We Choose?

Post by ertyu »

info: do you guys have college degrees? I'm asking bc that would determine if a piece of income-generating advice i have would work for the 2 of you.

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