Well, I should note for the record that I have never entered into an intimate arrangement with financial profit as my motive. It just started happening that after my divorce I was usually dating men who were much more affluent than me, and because I have always been a frugal penny tracker, I felt compelled to document the transfers that resulted. For instance, I couldn't pat myself on the back for only spending $20/week on groceries if I was taken out for dinner three times. My primary motive for entering into intimate arrangements has almost always been sex. I am never alone long enough to feel lonely, and I usually only develop romantic feelings for men after we have sex. However, now that I am a year out of menopause, I think my baseline sexual motivation is way down, so it is very possible that I will not seek any sort of arrangements at all after I part ways with current BF/Covid-Buddy.Alphaville wrote:this is my problem also with entering intimate arrangements for profit
Well, whether or not an American can survive on 1 Jacob per year given cut-throat deductibles etc. is always up for debate, but I would note that my health care expenses for the last 5 years have averaged less than $20/month. However, I don't choose to do every rip-off thing they suggest. I had a primary care doctor who was very helpful in that regard, but unfortunately she retired last year. I also find that not having to report to 40 hour/week job provides you with more options for self-care.good savers still need to pay copays and deductibles, in merciless cutthroat america. maybe i’m misreading your posts because the information is not in one place, but it reads to me like lentil baby is your primary plan at the moment. which, i understand the current situation, but i’m not seeing a non-lentil way forward.
As far as non-lentil way forward is concerned, I always have several pots (more or less cracked )on the fire. In fact, I have a video job interview on Monday, even though my rational calculations inform me that it is way too risky to consider in time of Covid. In terms of pure actuarial expectation with all mortal fear removed, I figure keeping holed up until vaccine is worth at least $60,000 net for me. If I break with my BF, I'll just have to spend down some savings after unemployment runs out if I can't get remote work. I should also note that I am desperately trying to avoid being the sister stuck taking care of my mother after she is released from the hospital, and staying holed up with my BF helps with that too.
I think there is something to your suggestion, however my tendency is to take on partners after I already have a project up and running. I was running my business for two years solo before I took on my sister as partner, and I was working on my permaculture project for at least a year before my Permaculture Partner became involved on any level (at first he was just helping me for fun.) I usually (when not suffering from asphalt etc.) have a lot of initiative or Visionary energy, but I run out of Technician and/or Manager energy at some what-should-be-predictable juncture. My sister was an excellent partner for around 10 years until she suffered personal natural disaster of mental health functioning, and same goes for my collaboration with the Permaculture Partner. It's more down to my inability to maintain that sort of combo Technician/Manager energy I think of as being "walking the fence." I don't think this is unusual since many entrepreneurial guides suggest taking on partners as a good idea. Still, since things have not worked out as I would have preferred, I should give the matter further thought.i guess the conclusion that i’m drawing from this online brainstorm i’m doing right now, is that maybe you need to make something of your own with no partners or supporters so that you can develop material and psychological boundaries simultaneously? i mean, doing on purpose, for that purpose.
Very true, and primary reason why I broke up with my "ex", but he definitely would have felt free to dump stuff even on land I owned if we were in relationship based on some argument of mutuality and bulldozer personality type logic. I know this is true, because he did do this with more affluent women he dated before me. Also, I was practicing polyamory while I was working on my permaculture project, and every man I dated, not just my Permaculture Partner, had very decided opinions on what I should or shouldn't be doing with it. So, it's not just having ownership, or avoiding partnership, I have to strictly keep all men off of my turf and not even let them visit. It would still be okay for me to visit them on their turf, because I know how to behave in the gracious follow or co-operate. I did not have problems like this in partnership with my sister, because she does know how to co-operate.im guessing if the sculptor had owned the garden and the gardener was just borrowing the land, the sculptor might have showed up midweek with a truck full of junk cuz he didn’t have a place to store it, so can you please move those beds over there? sorry, it will be just that corner.... (then returns next month with another load).