Search found 28 matches

by Cats_and_tats
Sun Mar 24, 2019 7:43 am
Forum: Health Questions
Topic: Sleeping problems
Replies: 21
Views: 1466

Re: Sleeping problems

Something no one had mentioned is - what are you waking up to? If you are not looking forward to what you are waking up to, your body won't want to go to sleep. I know I've struggled with this when I didn't like my job. My body didn't want to go to sleep because I would have to wake up to go somewhe...
by Cats_and_tats
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:25 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

It's not my forum. Why don't you ask Jacob about the rules on when you should and shouldn't threaten revenge porn? He is probably the best one to guide you there.
by Cats_and_tats
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:51 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

So, I stopped responding after Jacob posted because honestly I feel tired of this thread. I stopped defending the author a long time ago and instead was focusing on general sexism issues on the board. Then Jacob posted and I was like, okay, like C40 (I think) said, silence is respect. Now Jason post...
by Cats_and_tats
Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:04 am
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I remember reading that thread specifically as well. It was a contributor to making me not want to sign up at the time, even though there was a specific thing I wanted to post about.

This is in response to Fish's post, which I am not seeing now, although it was a very thoughtful post
by Cats_and_tats
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:53 am
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

That wasn't my point. All *of* the men who are acting this way. Not all the men that exist. It isn't that women are responsible, I'm saying people can only think of a few women, and there are many many men in the group. Why is it we can only think of 6 if people really think that there isn't a good ...
by Cats_and_tats
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:44 am
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I remember the first time I really read books on real significant money-saving, and how I felt surprised there was another way than how I grew up. I remember the first time I read The Frugal Gazette, or The Millionaire Next Door, or ERE, or the MMM blog posts. Now there are communities on the intern...
by Cats_and_tats
Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:44 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I was actually copying my wife. She uses bitch all the time. I suspect all these words have become much like the n word, where black people can say it but no one else can or they're racist, sexist, or ableist. Did... Did you just respond to someone calmly saying that you might want to re-think your...
by Cats_and_tats
Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:59 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I don't actually know Jacob. I did read his book a long time ago, and I follow the forum, but I don't know him as a person. So he may personally be not sexist at all. I do know more about MMM though, and of the things listed in the article - that he doesn't shower often, that he re-wears clothes, th...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:37 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I don't really think it's a nerve or not nerve specifically. I don't really care about the guy who wrote that post, or the girl that did. As a person who has read the forums for awhile, however, there is a lot of sexist language and tropes that make it a less friendly place for female people. This t...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:49 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

https://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=10500&p=185482&hilit=vice#p185482 Here's a guy criticising FIRE and forum members calling in to question his motives and a few ad hominems and no-one is in a hurry to defend the guy. This is actually a great example in that all the commen...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:23 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

@ Cats_and_tats https://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=10493&start=80#p185975 I think I made at least some points regarding the issues with the blogpost even if you don't agree with all my disagreements. I saw that and whether those are comments I disagree with or not, they a...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:40 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I'm glad you posted your opinion on the article even if we don't agree on it. Good in the call-out, I remembered someone was like, really? And it was you. I decided not to engage about it. My comments weren't actually really only about the article. I read it quickly, and the overall feeling matched...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:15 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Agree @crazylemon I actually am active in several other frugality forums and spaces, but tend not to be here because it isn't welcoming to women. I follow and interact in spaces where the majority of people are nothing like me - they have kids, they are religious, whatever - but we put those things ...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:57 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Okay, we can be more pedantic, if you want. "You didn't say she was {ONLY} wrong, you said she hates men and has bad relationships, neither of which you have proof of, and is not actually addressing any of her arguments." But if you agree it is a cult, how do cults treat non-members? Not well, yeah?...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:41 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

You didn't say she was wrong, you said she hates men and has bad relationships, neither of which you have proof of, and is not actually addressing any of her arguments. She said the space is sexist, and you said she hates men and has bad relationships, which are sexist assumptions which prove her po...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:14 pm
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I don't think she does hate men, and pointing out issues in a community isn't the same thing. Saying her viewpoint is stupid and incorrect and she hates men and her relationships are bad - you are just reinforcing what she is saying. There was a recent thread of someone saying how they have more suc...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:43 am
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

I think there's a more overarching point. Many men are bad at relationships. Many women are bad at relationships. ... The lady who wrote the article is obviously bad with relationships IMO, that's why she hates men and writes ridiculous things, it's a defense mechanism, otherwise she would feel shi...
by Cats_and_tats
Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:55 am
Forum: Friends & Family Questions
Topic: Random Relationship Derailment Thread
Replies: 273
Views: 22807

Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

That was an interesting article, and while the author was clearly exaggerating some things for comic effect, I don't really think she's wrong. Overall the community can be incredibly sexist, where pussy is seen as a commodity and women aren't treated as people. I did have to laugh at the pick-up-art...
by Cats_and_tats
Tue Feb 26, 2019 4:30 pm
Forum: Housing Questions
Topic: Commune/Intentional Community
Replies: 44
Views: 4858

Re: Commune/Intentional Community

Augustus wrote:
Tue Feb 26, 2019 3:35 pm
Man, you are a ray of sunshine aren't you?
For wondering about medical care in a commune / planned community? People need medical care, it's a valid concern.