Early Retirement Extreme Forums (est. 2010)

How do you split the difference between booty call vs. date if your intention is non-monogamy? Accommodations, feelings, or FITB? I would say that any encounter, no matter how brief, with a man who had previously declared his affectionate attachment would not be a booty call. Otherwise, I might dra...

According to a book on attachment theory ("Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment"), roughly half of people are securely attached, 20% are anxious, and 25% are avoidant. The remaining 5% are mixed. The authors believe that the dating pool contains a disproportionate number of avoidants becaus...

How are everyone's relationships/love affairs going? The week after I cleaned out my harem, I met someone who was also kinky, poly (well, a relationship anarchist), and in an open marriage. Crackling chemistry and connection. (Warning sign!) For a couple months, we had a great time dating, going to ...

About 15 years ago, I bought a seven-piece set of Wusthof classic knives. I only use three -- chef's knife, paring knife, and utility knife. These are sturdy knives that come with a lifetime guarantee. I've actually tested this; a piece of a knife handle broke, and the company replaced it without qu...

I wouldn't be at all surprised if you find yourself once again responding to approach by one of these partners. It's very easy to become overwhelmed by practice of polyamory, but it also has a certain draw. No. Exes are exes for a reason. Once men cross a line with me, there is no redemption. Plus,...

@7WB5: Well, no. If humans were 100% transparent all the time, we would have killed each other off a long time ago. :D Guess I'm just feeling a little protective and upset on your behalf - not that you need it, because apparently you kicked ass in the renegotiation. I'm also possibly projecting a a ...

@7WB5: Still trying to wrap my head around the dynamic. But I wouldn't be inclined to think kindly of someone who was planning on replacing me, or splashed my headless photo around the internet. At a minimum, seems like communication and transparency are missing.

@WB5: Wait. What???

Get the tattoo.

You are intelligent. No doubt. It comes across in your writing. No answers for you, just want to offer solidarity in dealing with mental health issues and the losses that ensue, both from the condition itself and medication. I've been on antidepressants for 20 years for major depression; while the m...

Since I intend to start actively dating again at some juncture in the near future, I am also wondering about how to handle dating apps as polyamorous female. If I come right out with it on profile, I am pretty certain I will be bombarded with even more unwanted attention than usual, so I didn't do ...

As far as the kink community goes, what's the best way to get involved? I'm currently interested in more vanilla things, but they do seem like natural allies and I don't have much experience exploring the options they may have to offer. You might want to check out an app called Feeld. That's where ...

@WannaBe: Good thing you and I are too old for babies! (Sorry if that's a presumption on my part.) After extensive discussion, here are agreements that DH and I have reached: 1. DH moves much slower than me, like glacially so. Thus far he's only had flirtations. But yes, he can bring his paramours o...

This might not be a popular sentiment around here, but I think it's positive that you're loosening your belt a little. There's a psychological cost/toll that comes with being too frugal. Where that line falls is different for everyone -- for me, it was trying to sew my own underwear out of lace and ...

The issue I'm having are 1) I don't go to a lot of places where there are single available women and I'm not used to flirting with them when I do. I hear this a lot from guys who are poly. While it might be difficult meeting women out in the wild, are there polyamory meetups or Facebook groups in y...

FINANCES Net worth, including home equity, reached $1M in Q3 2018...then promptly took a plunge due to stock market fluctuations. Still tracking expenses but haven't calculated net worth since then. Spending is still pretty bare bones, but I've been splurging a bit on hosting dinner parties with fr...

Bmonkey is adorable. Congratulations!!

Ideas:
Kava kava
Yoga nidra
Heavy/weighted blanket
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Sunlight/sun lamp

This year I came up with the oh-so-brilliant idea to practice frugality by cooking, baking, or canning everyone's Christmas gifts. Spent the past several weekends in the kitchen making jam, knishes, hand pies, soup, etc. Uggh, so tired. Next year, everyone's getting gift cards, alcohol, or nothing a...

I, too, am interested in the toilet.

Hey there. Welcome to California! You're right about visiting attractions off-season. Weather here is pretty mild year-round so there's no particularly bad time to visit. Not sure what happened with your Golden Gate Bridge crossing, but you need a license plate account or FasTrak transponder to pay ...