My Experience in Vipassana
Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:29 am
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=8734
In the above topic, I was asked to elaborate on my experience in Vipassana and how it changed my life so this is my post about that.
I heard about Vipassana through an ex-girlfriend. Shortly before she left to Vipassana for a 10 day meditation, she told me about an act of betrayal that she had done. I told her we might break up over this. Her finding peace with our potential break up was her Vipassana journey. She came back and I almost immediately told her I was breaking up with her, I couldn't be monogamous with her since we had different definitions of what's okay in monogamy, and I'd begun having sex with someone else. She, normally emotionally reactive, had so much peace and love in her eyes- I felt she was either in heaven or had totally broken. A little scared for her, I checked in a few hours later and she still sounded so serene. I was curious.
About a year later, I managed to make an opportunity to go. I went to North Fork, near Yosemite. Once we park, we hand over our keys and cell phones, read the agreement to stay for 10 days and sign it. It's 9 days of noble silence (no talking/eye contact) and 1 last day of some communicating allowed. There's a manager and volunteer staff to get help from that we can talk to about logistical issues. Aside from that, there's no communication. Wake up at 430, meditate for an hour or 2. Eat, meditate, eat, meditate, short break to walk, meditate. It's 10-12 hours a day of meditating.
My own experience inside the camp was stressful, boring, exhausting. I wanted to quit on all but days 4 and 10. But I saw my own mind more and more clearly. I occasionally forgot I was meditating during the sessions and thought I was hanging out with friends. I remember thinking about my lover at the time, then forgetting about her and thinking about an ex, seeing this attachment switching more readily than I previously realized. My greatest accomplishment was sitting completely still for a whole hour-no itching, no eye opening, nothing.
I met some really cool people from across the state here. I asked one hippyish dude who had hitchhiked from Colorado how he dealt with the isolation: "I see it as solituude." Hmm... Maybe being alone isn't as bad or socially shamed as I thought.
After it was over, I felt more loving, more at peace. I began meditating daily. I accepted and processed emotions more readily, I learned how to feel and simply accept, how to let go of my story. But the biggest change was that I no longer needed to be with people to feel okay.
Whereas before, I'd force myself to be around the wrong crowd just to have company, I now am okay being alone. I spent alot more of the following years cultivating peace than obssessing about having more friends and being engaged in social activities every moment of the day. I enjoy 1 on 1 time, not parties much. I spend time with friends/lovers 2 or 3 times a week and family about as much. This feels good for me and once I saw people less often, I became more grateful for and warm towards them.
I ultimately convinced my mom to go and she hated the experience but loved the results- she began meditating after and it helped her sleep easier for the following year, she became more peaceful for a time.
tldr: Difficult but helped me cultivate peace, enjoy alone time, and treat people better.
In the above topic, I was asked to elaborate on my experience in Vipassana and how it changed my life so this is my post about that.
I heard about Vipassana through an ex-girlfriend. Shortly before she left to Vipassana for a 10 day meditation, she told me about an act of betrayal that she had done. I told her we might break up over this. Her finding peace with our potential break up was her Vipassana journey. She came back and I almost immediately told her I was breaking up with her, I couldn't be monogamous with her since we had different definitions of what's okay in monogamy, and I'd begun having sex with someone else. She, normally emotionally reactive, had so much peace and love in her eyes- I felt she was either in heaven or had totally broken. A little scared for her, I checked in a few hours later and she still sounded so serene. I was curious.
About a year later, I managed to make an opportunity to go. I went to North Fork, near Yosemite. Once we park, we hand over our keys and cell phones, read the agreement to stay for 10 days and sign it. It's 9 days of noble silence (no talking/eye contact) and 1 last day of some communicating allowed. There's a manager and volunteer staff to get help from that we can talk to about logistical issues. Aside from that, there's no communication. Wake up at 430, meditate for an hour or 2. Eat, meditate, eat, meditate, short break to walk, meditate. It's 10-12 hours a day of meditating.
My own experience inside the camp was stressful, boring, exhausting. I wanted to quit on all but days 4 and 10. But I saw my own mind more and more clearly. I occasionally forgot I was meditating during the sessions and thought I was hanging out with friends. I remember thinking about my lover at the time, then forgetting about her and thinking about an ex, seeing this attachment switching more readily than I previously realized. My greatest accomplishment was sitting completely still for a whole hour-no itching, no eye opening, nothing.
I met some really cool people from across the state here. I asked one hippyish dude who had hitchhiked from Colorado how he dealt with the isolation: "I see it as solituude." Hmm... Maybe being alone isn't as bad or socially shamed as I thought.
After it was over, I felt more loving, more at peace. I began meditating daily. I accepted and processed emotions more readily, I learned how to feel and simply accept, how to let go of my story. But the biggest change was that I no longer needed to be with people to feel okay.
Whereas before, I'd force myself to be around the wrong crowd just to have company, I now am okay being alone. I spent alot more of the following years cultivating peace than obssessing about having more friends and being engaged in social activities every moment of the day. I enjoy 1 on 1 time, not parties much. I spend time with friends/lovers 2 or 3 times a week and family about as much. This feels good for me and once I saw people less often, I became more grateful for and warm towards them.
I ultimately convinced my mom to go and she hated the experience but loved the results- she began meditating after and it helped her sleep easier for the following year, she became more peaceful for a time.
tldr: Difficult but helped me cultivate peace, enjoy alone time, and treat people better.