enigmaT120 said: Do I find it easy to depend on my partner? For what? It didn't say.
Probably doesn't specify because different people depend on their partners for many different things in relationship in accordance with their needs, wants, druthers,values, expectations, standards or situation. Could be "not to show up drunk" or "to always convey affection" or "to provide financial support for me and the kids" or "to rock my socks off" etc. etc. etc.
jennypenny said: I can imagine how bad I'd score if I was drowning in the dating pool instead of happily married.
When I was unhappily married, many a moon ago and prior to much reading, therapy, reflection and behavior modification, I would have scored much higher on the anxiety meter. Since I did have some solid bonding experiences in early childhood with my father and my maternal grandmother, I was able to work up from those through my unfortunate adult long-term-relationship with my marital ex and my not-so-well-bonded relationship with my mother. Self-aware self-care is key. If you are feeling anxiety in relationship as an adult, it is often a sign that you are not "mothering" yourself enough and you may need to work on learning some self-comforting behaviors. It can be as simple as performing behaviors for yourself that you believe a good mother would perform. For instance, sometimes when I am feeling a bit anxious in relationship, I very calmly brush my hair and then plait it back into a braid. There is a picture book entitled "I Like Me!" by Nancy Carlson which features a little pig who goes through her day engaged in simple self-care activities which I used to read to my kids. The trick is to not fall over the self-care line of "I do fun things with me. I draw a beautiful picture" to the self-indulgent realm of "I do fun things with me. I snort cocaine." I have a friend who, like me, had a cold distant mother, but also an absentee addicted father, and a sexually-abusive older brother. Her anxiety and abandonment fears were so huge, she could not be physically alone without alcohol, but she could not become emotionally engaged either. She would have fallen right off the edge of that test, but she is doing better now. I'm a big believer in accepting the past and then moving forward with positive behaviors. IOW, not languishing in victimhood or engaging in the sort of rigid bootstrapping that is equivalent to denial. Men in our culture are usually more inclined towards the second.