Frenchgirl's Journal

[Chris]

I guess a lot of ERE/MMM people face the same thing : in real world you're kicking ass, in this world you're a regular joe. I don't know, it feels weird.

I actually think it feels good (-: You're right, a lot of ERE-minded people are in the same situation: at the far end of the money spectrum, with nicely-growing mustaches. But I like knowing that there are people more extreme than I, sporting even bigger and bushier mustaches. It's nice to have a goal to stretch for, and at the same time know that while other people may think you're extreme, you know that you are not the craziest (-:

...so I will have to watch my NW shrink for awhile

Net worth is overrated. Really! Your savings rate is much more important. Knowing how well you can convert income into savings is valuable information. You have empirical evidence of your power. Once money is coming in again, you know you have the skill to quickly start building your cash pile.

Enjoy the freedom that your lifestyle provides and look forward to your future of continued money wizardry.

[Open Space]

Thanks so much for sharing your journal. As another INTP type its wonderful to read about someone with a similar perspective. I think we approach some things differently than the INTJs.

The thing is, I did miss doing anything creative so I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to be back at it but I struggle. Nothing to solve or to understand, just to create.
I am such a rational/solver mind... I found that I need a very specific kind of focus (clear hard, no thoughts at all, not-on-earth sensation) to make something *good*. Not easy at all but I guess it's a process and I am enjoying the hardship!

This is a fear of mine...I want to spend more time doing creative work than my current career allows, but if I move to purely creative work where will I get to use my analytical problem solving skills?

I also did some graphic design type work as a side business a few years ago. I was creating Photoshop brushes and other tools for scrapbookers who create their pages completely digitally. It was fun but didn't scale well and took up too much of my limited time outside work. I'd be curious to know what you end up doing, especially if you can make a successful business out of it. Right now my artistic/creative outlet is all hobbies and house projects.

Oh, you also mentioned feeling compelled to be really good at whatever you are doing - oh yes, I can totally relate to that one!

[FrenchGirl]

@OpenSpace Actually, I took the test a few times and I score INTP or INTJ = I fall somewhere in the middle of the P/J scale. But yes, it definitely is a challenge to find balance between intellectual satisfaction and actually making money doing so.
As of now, during my graphic design training, I find intellectual/solving skill satisfaction by working on creating my company. I think/hope that in the long run, being an entrepreneur AND working first hand on everything creative within my company will profide a nice balance. Let's see if time confirms my view...

@Chris Thanks! And you're so right about the NW. It doesn't truly matter as long as I can provide for myself while living the life I want/design for myself.

[FrenchGirl]

#11# - November review - More reflexion of life/money/NetWorth


Financial update :
Total income after taxes (severance money) : 61104,82€
Total expenses : 1025,24€
Net Worth : 81589,36€
(there is possibly a 3000€ subvention, but I am waiting for an answer on that, so it's a december issue I guess)


November has been an interesting month, money wise : I was in a lot of stress, and in such situations I tend to indulge a hell lot on food. Food is definitely my weakness! But in the end, it "only" tallied up to about 160€ (I know, it IS still a lot, but it felt like I went crazy like never before, so I was expecting much more) I also gave 100€ in gifts and it was still not a catastrophic month.
I spent a total of 1025,24€ (Reminder : my goal is 1000€/month) including 332€ of what I call "luxuries" = everything that is not monthly necessities like rent, utilities, and grocery shopping. Which means that I also include in the luxuries category any other household supplies (like buying a broom, a sauce pan, etc...) so it's not perfectly accurate but it gives me a nice, quick and easy estimate. So I am happy that when I'm my most lazy/indulgent on money, I still don't spend that much.

-Travelling again! - thoughts on how I value money -

Now that being said, I am travelling again next month, so december will be sky high. It was not an easy decision, to spend another 1000€ (ish) for another travel in the same year. But the thing is, my sister and I live near Paris, far away from all of our family (back in the caribean). We haven't spent christmas with the whole family in many many years.
This year, my sister decided she would go. With that special event (my sister has a very very tight budget so this is huge) everyone in the family started to request that I come back (even if I was there in october) so that we can finally be all together again for the holidays. My first reaction was "heeeeell no! !! I just quit my job, I'm in a turning point in my life and I need to focus, and I need to watch my pennies! Of course I would love to come, but I just can't do that in a right mind!"

And then days pasts and I kept thinking. Thinking about why I quit an easy "high" paying job after only 3 years. Why I didn't just kept saving for ERE. I would have been FIRE in about 10 years, probably less. I did it because I want to live the life I want right now. And also because I thought that the good pay and the growing NW were not worth 10 years of my life not enjoying every minute of it. I did it because I decided that I'd rather have good times, good challenges, a great like, than have money.
So I just asked myself : if I had (for any reason) to go back to a regular job by this time next, what would I regret? Not enjoying my location free condition would definitely be one regret. Not participating in the only "family christmas" of the last 5 years and probably the next 10 years would be a regret.

My guesstimate of the cost of the trip is about 1000€.
- 1000€ is one month of living expenses.
- 0,012% of my total net worth.
- About 14000€ in ten years (using compound interests at 7% yearly return.
It's a lot, but it's definitely worth it!

So I'm going!! But will also defenitely try to make it cost less than that. That's my little december challenge!

[FrenchGirl]

#12# December review - 2014 Review - 2015 Goals

Well well well, it's been a little while!
December was a very busy month with my 2 weeks travel and some of my boyfriend's family members visiting too until the first week of january.

I spent christmas with my whole family for the first time in 7 years. It was amazing, everyone was so happy to be together I feel joyful just to think about it. The overall coast was 1063,56€. I failed at keeping it below 1000€ but it's fine, it really feels like money well spent.

Financial Update :


*The income category is made of interests only.

Nothing much to say except that I finally opened a brokerage account and started investing money in stocks. I have a few guidelines that I will try to stick to :
- Solid dividend growth companies
- Fully diversified portfolio : currencies/industries/countries/Timing*
- Buy and hold
- Reinvest all dividends

*So I don't get impacted too much by timing, I invest slowly = Fixed monthly amount. No matter how long it takes to have a solid portlofio. I'm here for the long run.

2014 Summary :

Total income after taxes : 92202 €
Total spent : 23088 €
NW progression : + 69492 €
Saving rate = 75%

2014 was an amazing year for me! The year I finally got my sh** together and found the courage to take the leap, quit my job and become an entrepreneur. It was 6 month of stress, sleepless nights, doubts and fears but in the end I overcame all of that and did what I did. It made me realise that I am actually a brave person and it was a very nice discovery! (I have always been a very fearful person, and was called a "coward" so much as a child that I thought that being brave was not being afraid. While actually bravery is being afraid, but doing it anyway).

I learned a lot about myself, and as I pursue my journey, I bet I will keep learning a lot!

2015 will be all about getting things done. I have a few milestone ahead of me and I am ready for them!

Financially :
* Remerging finances with my boyfriend (since we will be full time entrepreneurs together, it makes sense)
* Have 20K invested in Stocks and REITs by the end of the year

Business :
* Launch and grow to be able to pay at least one salary

Budget : (for the both of us)
* Estimated income : 25K€ (unemployment, business, subventions, interests...)
* Estimated expenses : 22K€
* The goal will be just to stick to those numbers. Or actually just keep the balance out of the negative. That's just it. The main focus of this year will be business business business. NW should be ignored completely! (especially since in the long run, having a solid business will be the greatest adition to our NW)

And that's is. I actually shouldn't have written anything else in the 2015 theme than BUSINESS BUSINESS BUSINESS. It's the ultimate priority for the year. Nothing will come before that : if investing distracts us too much then we'll stop, if eating fresh fruits and vegetables distracts us too much then we'll eat frozen store food. In 2015 I am a revenue building robot!

I wanted challenges in my life, I am very well served!

[Chris]

Congratulations on shedding your job, your student loan, and everything else that brought you stress in the past year. If 2014 was a year of shedding, 2015 will be a year of growth!

[FrenchGirl]

Thank you very much Chris! Your last sentence is absolute perfection, thanks for this very nice anthem! (Yes, it's now my catch phrase for the year :p)

[julien]

Hola Frenchgirl,
Any update on your journey towards growth and abundance?

[singvestor]

I would also love an update. Just read through past entries and am really curious how things worked out.

[FrenchGirl]

Well, yes I have been MIA for quite some time now. It's kind of my thing to go off the grid when things get tough or hectic. When life is all over the place I just don't know how to talk about it (to friends, to myself in my head, in wirting, in this forum... you get the jist) which can sound weird but that's just me. Plus, I have kind of a weird reaction to stress (even positive stress)(assuming there is such a thing as good stress) and I get all jumpy and excited and then depressed and then euphoric and then anxious and then beating myself down for every single mistake and then being overly proud and happy... and again and again and again. It's tiring to myself and I know it can be tiring to anybody exposed to it, weather it's just in writing or in discussions.
Although to be quite honest it's also because I'm terrified of failure, and most specifically failure in the public eye.
So I just tend to refrain myself from talking about my projects and my life; and since that's super hard to do, I just try to avoid social interractions altogether! Ah!

But you know what I want to break that habit. If I fail, I fail (at least I tried, right?). So I'm gonna change my original plan which was to come back to this forum only in 2016 when everything in my life has settled down, and just pop back right now, briging my chaos with me

So what have I been up to ?

- Started from scratch the business project : ditched the former plan and started over from observation to research to idea (to deep though about my true purpose in life, ya know). Builded a new plan and opening new business in november this year if everything goes as plan.

- Continued my training as a graphic designer. (Love love love it)

- Tried not to bleed to much money

- Made some decisions about how I want to handle my relationships (with financial consequences)

- Got back into shape

Overall I'm loving this year! I started doing fitness at home about 6 months ago and by now I got my high school shape back which is totally cool! Everyday I am amazed at what I can do now, and shocked that I got so out of shaped those past few years. Trivial everyday example : running to catch a train (5 to 10 minutes sprint). I used to get SO out of breath, huffing and puffing and feeling like my heart and lungs were gonna pop out of my body (shame). Now not only do I barely feel my heart rate speed, but just starting to run feels completely different (it's like I just lift off the floor, like my body is always on the starting bloc! I love it!). There is so much hapiness in experiencing a strong body : I will never go back I swear it to myself. Only little "issue" : people around me have been commenting that I'm too thin now and "shapeless" (=curveless) : I have always been thin, but when I got out of shape, I gained some curves (that I never thought I would have!!)(I'm caribean so curves are a big deal), now I lost most of it (but not all of it) and my body is just a lot firmer and more muscular (ever though the muscles don't show that much). At first the remarks got to me and I felt a bit... I don't know sad ? Anyway, I decided not to care. I feel way to good in this new body to let anyone's opinion on how I look interfere.

Businesswise it's been hard. Challenging. Scary. Amazing.
We are getting office spaces next month (OMG!), the stock should arrive about 2 weeks after that. I am stress and excited (though 2 months ago I was just dying to make things move forward and felt stagnant and horrible about myself). Keeping an eye on everything, trying not to lose focus... The next 6 weeks are going to be crucial. But I also try not to put too much pressure on the launch. A small company is a work in progress and everything will NOT be perfect and just like I want right away and it's fine. A year from now it's gonna be better and even better in 2 years, etc.

Money wise, my goal is still to finish this year with the same net worth I started with. Right now I'm about 3000€ behind but it *should* all even out by the end of the year (well at least if I trust my excel file, and I do)

But more détails on finance later. I just wanted to check in and say hi. Hi!

[DutchGirl]

Hi, back! Good to read that you're still there and still working on things. Impressive improvement on your physical health. And good luck with the business!

[FrenchGirl]

@Dutchgirl Hi! Thanks for the kind words and encouragement it's so nice \o/

[Dave]

I just finished reading through your journal and really enjoyed it, thanks for sharing. I have some of the same personality traits as you - I was smiling as I read your description of how you behave under stress.

It sounds like 2015 has been a very exciting year for you. Good job on your health especially!

[FrenchGirl]

@Great to know that I am not alone out there!
*Pause to go read your journal*

Wow this is uncanny! This is exactly me. I am here writing after reating your explanation about "chasing you tail around in circle" and I do the exact same thing. With the same result of desapointment and frustration with failure. You say that you managed to have it under control and so did I : llast year, upon quiting my job I found great clarity, understood the process in place and with time, I got to a point where I could feel myself sliding into and obsession and then restrain myself for going to "deep" and stay calm. Unfortunately, lately I kinda lost control and felt back into it (during the summer) and it was a huge set back in my entrepreneurial venture. Now we are in a rush because we "lost" 2 months worth of work in July/august. Mind you, you can't be a good entrepreneur if you loose sigh of the big picture (like getting obsessed with the design of the website and droping everything else). But hey, it's a process

[Dave]

Haha, you are absolutely right, it is a process and it takes time. We are going to have relapses regarding those behavior patterns, but through conscious observation the frequency and intensity of them should decrease over time.

In the meantime, it is nice to know we are not the only ones who experience such things .

[FrenchGirl]

- September update-

Beware, all numbers are for me and my boyfriend combined. We are in the middle of building a business together, I quit my job a little more than a year ago and our only income for now is unemployment. With our business, the first goal is to generate an income that covers our base expenses (that would be about 1500€ most months). TThe second goal is to also replace the unemplyoyment income when it runs out (about a year from now). And then of course, increase income, invest, reach FI.


----------FINANCIAL UPDATE-----------

Total income 2115,3€

Expenses
Rent 617,56
Health insurance 2,68
Transportation 26,60
Utilities 112,06
Cells 28,13
Internet 34,18
Banking fees 3,87
Groceries 406,15
Travel 0
Eating out 192,1
Shopping/Stuff 118,79
School/Work/House 143,85
Gift 0

Total expenses 1685,97€

Net worth : 77821,45€
Net Worth Progression (from end of 2014) -2139,25€

If everything goes as planned, we *should* catch us and finish this years as we started it regarding the NW.
Eating out has been out of control this month!! Stress, mostly, but that's no excuse.

------INVESTING------------

I am still buying some stocks with the 18K€ I set aside for it. I buy about 500€-1000€ worth of stock every month. The entire 18K€ whould be fully invested by the end of the year.
Invested : 15645,31€
Deposit : 2925,8€
Annual dividend : 1000,93€

--------BUSINESS-----------

Thinks are moving along forward quite well. I can't wait for the launch, and just see what happens. Spreadsheets and projections are great but after a while they drive you insane (have I under estimated ? Over estimated ?)
Anyway, that's is for this month.

[FrenchGirl]

Yesterday, I felt a little bummed out, so I did what I always do in this case : open an excel file and pounder about the future in numbers!
I foud something awesome!! Our forecast for our little shop show that after 2-3 years, we would be able to draw 20-25K€ in dividend quite confortably. If it does happen this way, I can see us being FI un 6 years! I say 6 years because I don't think we will want/be able to go lower that 2000K€/month in expenses once we both have salaries. That put our annual ERE expenses at 24K€. Even if we can drow that in dividend, I would feel unconfortable not to have a nest egg. In 3 years, with reasonable income projections and reasonable market return, we would be standing on 120-125k€. At 4% withdrawal rate, that not much.
But by adding 3 years to that, we would have 320-350K€. That's much better!

So that would be :
6 years
350K€ nest egg
25000 €/year in dividend from our business.

Of course, it's all very hypothetical and it can all easily go down the drain if the company fails, or if it doesn't completely fail but doesn't generate enough revenue to pay us what we're confortable with. But it's a huge motivation : If we bust our asses (and brains) and make it work, we can be free in 6 years in our early 30s. And doing it without crushing our souls in depressive jobs.
It 9:17 AM, and I have a damn good reason to get back to work!

Have a nice day!

[cmonkey]

I decided to return the favor and read through your journal. You are much braver than I am for quitting your job starting your own business! I don't think I could do it, I much prefer the sloth of employment if only for a few years. Perhaps if I worked in marketing it would be easier, though, I would hate that type of work! Ugh!

I am looking forward to hearing about how things go for you. What area of business are you entering into?

[FrenchGirl]

October update

Financial review
(All the numbers are combined with my BF)
Spending wise, it was best our month ever except maybe when we were students and had so many things for free.

Total income after taxes 898,84 € (income is low because we had a huge tax bill of 1361€)

Rent 617,56
Transportation 42,00
Utilities 11,40
Cells 23,22
Internet 34,38
Banking fees 17,22
Groceries 357,9
Travel 0
Eating out 245,69
Shopping/Stuff 0,00
School/Work/House 21,50
Gift 0
Total expenses 1370,87 €

We still need to work on the "eating out" category which is definitely our weakness. YNAB tells me that the monthly average of 2015 in this category is just over 100€. I won't try anything while we're in the "company building" storm, but in 2016 it will definitely be something to work on.

Net Worth 77518,92 € (technically, we are still on track to finish the year above dec2014 level =79960,70€)

Entrepreneurship

Well, we are still on the rollercoaster! As it appeared, we were on track to launch on November 1st but we overestimated the fluidity of our financers process. They take forever to review our application, which would be fine if we were allowed to keep on going with everything else (pay with our own money and then use the 15K fund to reimburse ourselves) but it's unfortunately impossible. So we are stuck in one place until at least the 25th of this month. By then, we hope to be able to open on December 1st, a month late.

Adrenaline and stress

From my *conscious* perspective, I'm on an excited and amazing aventure. I am so happy with the work I do everyday I sometime have to stop, look around and almost pinch myself as I can't believe my luck. On the other end, those past few days I had nightmares which I did not have for many many years (probably high school). One night I even woke up screaming (it was some scary sh*t).
The only possible explanation I have for this is that my body is under a terrible amount of stress mixed with adrenaline that somehow I don't feel on a day to day basis. Weird.

Making my dreams come true

The other day I was reading at some old notes from 2013 in which I dreamed of working in the most pleasant and effective manner with my BF toward our common goal : creating a great brand. I dreamed of having offices in Paris (totally in the dream category in my mind because Paris is so expensive), I also dreamed of reaching a point in simplicity, minimalism and frugality where it's not painful for us to spend less the 1500€ a month.

I read those notes and then I looked around : Paris offices, brand building, amazing work with my BF, low spending even when I feel over indulgent. On the personal side, my relationship with the BF has never been better (we're going on 10 years) : we had a "dream relationship" in mind that is so much more than what people traditionally expect from relationships (especially nowadays) and it was hard to get. Those past 2 years I really feel like we are harvesting the hard work we "planted" in our first 5 years living together.
I make a point on not taking any of this for granted. I am extremely grateful.
Now I hope to visualize the sucess of my company as strongly as I visualize all of the above so I can find myself writing something similar then. *fingers crossed*

[DutchGirl]

Hi Frenchgirl, you're okay, I assume? Terrible stuff happening in Paris, sigh.