Early Retirement Extreme Forums

A major hole in my financial bucket is alcohol. Around this time of year especially, I feel the pain of repeated cycles of hangover, feeling better the next day, then another social obligation where I invariably drink to excess and beyond what I intended, followed by the hangover and remorse at spending.

In terms of wasted days and wasted money, alcohol is truly a terrible beast. I have had successful periods of abstinence for, say, 6 weeks which have saved me impressive sums of money. Yet, the pressure to drink on certain occasions, with certain people or at certain times of the year is massive and so the cycle soon begins again.

I'm interested in whether other people battle this, and how they've managed to improve things. It seems like a major potential slayer of timely ERE.

Well, is there a pressure to get drunk as well? If not, can you switch to something lighter? Wine instead of beer? Drink less, like one, when everybody else gets two? Take a break via some social engineering (e.g. make sure to "have another appointment" well in advance). If nothing else, telling people that you're not drinking tonight because you need to "detox from all the xmas parties last week" usually works.

Hangovers can't be cured, but they can be prevented by drinking half a gallon (in general more than you think) of water before you go to bed. I believe hangovers are caused by the dehydration followed by the processing of alcohol. Having enough water in the system prevents this. My understanding might be incorrect, but it works. I haven't had a hangover since I was 21 or so.

In terms of wasted money, it's possible to make wine for about $2-3 gallon.

You can always drink something that looks like booze, but isn't. Or you can just stop drinking. Once you get used to it, you find different kinds of fun to have a party. Drunk people can be amusing.

(Also, my grandma's advice was that once the party gets into swing, no one will notice if you are drunk if you just act out a little like the rest of them!)

Tipically, the completly stop drinking strategy never worked for me.
After a few month you remember that's it's nice to be slightly drunk, you start drinking a little bit for a while, and after a few week, you're back to the ammount you considered too much when you stoped the first time.
Drinking reasonably is a not so expensive form of socialisation (about 10$ a night). What I recomend is to get the feeling of alcool satiety. I managed to find it back, I don't really know how I did, but since, my alcohol consumption never seemed to be a problem to me anymore. You drink a few drink, and you just stop wanting more.

Does it come down to what you truly desire more? ERE like tendencies or socializing with alcohol? ~ If you want to drink socially, do it ere-style.

Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and listen to your conscious on these matters, but don't be overly critical of yourself if you make one decision or the other..

Over time you'll learn from the decisions which have proved less desirable and your habits and behaviours will change accordingly.

@OP--Do you feel pressure to drink to comform? Or do you feel pressure to socialize and comform, and you drink to deal with that? I was the second. I didn't like socializing so I drank. A lot. You could try and avoid the situations that make you want to over-comsume as much as possible, or drink at home before you go.

You might find that the situations aren't all the same. (you drink a lot when out, but don't overindulge when at a friend's house, for example)

Socialising with alcohol is an expensive hobby both in regard to energy and finances.

Just change away from this hobby to a cheaper one. Take a look at My brain gets itchy's journal (on this forum)-he managed to do it.
I would have used alcohol in much the same way he did and changed also the way he tells his story.

It is your own choice, you decide on the quality of your life - just make the decision how do you want to live?

Every time I think I'll have a glass of beer or wine now, I just think how it will slow me down the next day and I won't feel 100%.
I love and am addicted to feeling 100%-energy wise and also alcohol induced anxiety-free-wise.
In the Winter I'm always delighted to be cold/flu free, the last thing I will consciously do is self-inflict lethargy and anxiety.

In the Summer I may have a beer or two but again after being mainly alcohol free for a time, I keep thinking how it will affect my activities the next day. Just not worth it.

Best of luck with your decision on this issue, time is so precious and that's why it's so important to "live deliberately"

Thank you for the helpful replies.

I certainly do drink to help cope with social situations which I generally find slightly awkward. This is exacerbated by having some social circles of people who aren't really like me (via gf). However, on other occasions it is for the pleasure of drinking whilst enjoying the company of some close friends.

I think EREifying my drinking is a good idea - maybe developing skills in homebrew/wine making and inviting people over for dinner etc.

@1taskaday - an inspiring post, thank you.

Ginger1 wrote:I'm interested in whether other people battle this, and how they've managed to improve things. It seems like a major potential slayer of timely ERE.

Alcohol is a hell of a drug. I really like a drink but prefer to drink once per week and have a bottle of wine. I can get a bottle of wine for the same price as a cup of coffee at a cafe. So if you are only worried about cost there are options available.

If you go out drinking and socialising which I do as well I think you have to do it in moderation. It costs a lot of money going out and drinking. I do it very rarely and try to only have a couple of drinks tops.

If you are worried about your health which I am as well I think the best option is to accept that at this time of year we drink more often however I think the trick is to also spend any time or day where the option of not drinking is possible not drinking.

This is all assuming you aren't an alcoholic. If you are an alcoholic go and get help.

I also struggle to socialise without alcohol. A cheaper way is to tank up before you go out; get a cheap bottle of vodka and mixer, or do a few shots, and get yourself into a good place. I find I'll drink much less when out as I'll hit diminishing returns on drinks much earlier and tend to sober up somewhat towards the end of the evening, which helps to minimise hangovers.

I don't get it - I like to be 100% with it when socializing like 95% of the time.

I'm almost always the driver, so I typically only drink for social events at the house. That keeps things cheap.

not to pry, but are you 25 or younger ginger ?

if so, as you get older; you'll find your amounts drunk drop like a rock. i've got bottle of liquor, wine and champage that just sit; they wouldnt last a year 10 years ago.

you might also try wine, all the time.

Tip while in a social situation: just sip on a drink. Specifically a good one you really like and can savor as that will generally last you longer. And watch actively as others will tend to always reach for their glass at the same time -- it's a subtle subconscious cue that makes people drink more in groups than on their own. If you're aware of it, you can avoid it yourself.

For me, I also enjoy an occasional glass of whiskey at home on my own. It's interesting that this "practice" has also helped me learn to pace myself in social settings. I know more precisely how much is too much and objectively when I should stop.

I managed to stop for two entire months and i became a rich mofo. There was so much money left that i couldn't believe.
Now i'm back on the old habits and trying to find the right balance.

hey ginger, just become a baptist !

that'll solve all your problems.

I get this round, you get the next one.... that drove me nuts. Everyone ends up drinking as fast as the fastest drinker. That sucks. You might try being honest from the start tell everyone you are not going to be drinking and buying a round. Just drink water. Tell the bartender you're the designated driver then nurse a water or club soda.

Alcohol is a complex multi pronged gift/curse. I Have only recently learned to abstain from overindulgence. I often used it as medicine to allow socialization that I did not enjoy. Changing my life to abstain from the majority of those interactions is much less destructive physically and financially than previous.

Now, making, sharing, and consuming high quality booze of all sorts in small amounts with people I care about is great fun.