Friday/Saturday evening activities

[Jpsilver]

What are your preferences?

I'm still trying to figure out what I really like. As a teenager I used to go to bars/clubs mostly due to social acceptance, I think. Right now (25) I really don't feel the urge to do such things, and I wonder if this comes with age or if I've just always prefered other kinds of "fun".

I'd much rather go to a good friend's place, have some beers, and talk about interesting stuff, than to noisy places where you can hardly make yourself heard and where I consider most people not worth knowing. I'm an easy-going guy and I can strike up conversation fairly easily, so I don't think it's because of shyness or anything... I used to be a shy kid but I've made massive progress over the years to become more socially compliant. Now it's like, I go, I'm there and I feel good most of the time. But I kinda have to force myself to go, because I usually never want to go in the first place. lol

I'm just trying to figure out if I should fight it or embrace it. Lots of my friends, my age, still hang out at night mostly like we did in student years, which makes me think if maybe I'm still not fully fixed from my shyness and will only be once I finally want to openly go with them.

Also, I've been conditioned, especially during my teenage years, to be very ashamed of myself and to consider myself abnormal if I preferred to stay at home reading some book or learning some subject. I enjoy socializing, it's just not usually a top priority for me. Or maybe selective socialization is more my thing.

Anyways, I'd like to hear other people's preferences on the topic, as I generally feel less awkward "socializing" in this forum than in my natural circle.

Thanks!

[Triangle]

I'm in a similar situation. I've kind of made peace with myself. Sometimes I'm a lone wolf and I need to be on my own and enjoy reading or just being alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I enjoy the company of others.

Easygoing activities that don't require too much money (unlike going out and drinking) I enjoy are board game nights, cooking for each other, movie nights.. these aren't super social like clubs, but it's still easy to meet new people or just "be with others" for a few hours. And they're also not too committed, so you can opt out if you don't feel like it one week. Unlike if you join clubs or other regular activities.

[Hottentot]

I stopped drinking alcohol recently and been struggling a little too. I'm going out to the same places, i just don't consume anything alcoholic.
The problem is that i only last for 3 hours max, after that i become bored/sleepy. But i'm starting to think this is normal. To stay in the same bar for more than 3 hours without getting bored you need to be drunk because it's impossible.
But there's a funny thing. Since i stopped drinking, some friends only go out with me if somebody there would drink too. If it's just me, they avoid.
I find it weird, i am the one who will have to deal with the drunkness and the shit they will pour out of their mouths. I go out with people who drink with no problem, i find it good because i'm an introvert and they will talk most of the time so the pressure is not on me. I don't judge and i don't care.
I need to expand my social circles, but it's really hard. I'm 26 by the way.

If you want to stay at home and read a book, just do it.

[riparian]

For most of the last 15 years my social energy has been something that I sell. The more of it I give away the less I have to sell. The more I give away without enjoying the more I'm like, "fuck, I could have gotten $xxx doing that with clients instead of friends."

Social things I like are hanging out around a campfire drinking tea, talking, making music. Cribbage tournaments, scrabble, etc, are fun. Some of my favorite people when we get together we just sit and read each other's books! Sharing work is awesome too, like fish camp and berry picking.

Jpsilver, follow your bliss!

[Triangle]

@riparian: what is your profession again?

[theplk]

I hate clubs and dislike most social events.

My standard Friday night is either:
- have dinner with a friend
- hang out with girlfriend
- read new book or play new computer game

My standard Saturday night is either:
- hang out / go out with girlfriend
- read book / play game / watch movie

[Jpsilver]

For most of the last 15 years my social energy has been something that I sell. The more of it I give away the less I have to sell. The more I give away without enjoying the more I'm like, "fuck, I could have gotten $xxx doing that with clients instead of friends."

Mind blown. I could sell my social energy too! Being paid would make going out in the traditional sense much more bearable! Hahah, what do you do really? (I'm assuming you're not an escort of any kind )

[riparian]

For most of the last 15 years my social energy has been something that I sell. The more of it I give away the less I have to sell. The more I give away without enjoying the more I'm like, "fuck, I could have gotten $xxx doing that with clients instead of friends."

Mind blown. I could sell my social energy too! Being paid would make going out in the traditional sense much more bearable! Hahah, what do you do really? (I'm assuming you're not an escort of any kind )

Why would you assume that?

[fips]

Jpsilver, I'm the same age and have experienced the same change over the last years.

I used to go out a lot, but now working and studying has taken over and I rather feel like I don't want to waste my spare time and money on alcohol and clubs with mostly bad/boring/ever-repeating and too loud music, which seems to be the prime and easy thing to do on a typical weekend.

I much rather enjoy simply hanging out with few friends or attend house parties, where I partly know the people and partly not in a more "private" environment. I really like meeting new people and socializing, but it's not always my very first option and if I do go out, it has to be the right setting - I don't have to attend every single party, so yes, it's more about selective socialization.

I think, that unless you know that you are more happy by yourself at all times, you should nurture your friendships but at the same time stay true with yourself. That might mean, one needs to make compromises and cannot reject every invitation. I think I also missed some opportunities to invite friends myself and show them how grateful I am of them being there.

[theplk]

Getting a job like bartending is a great idea for using Friday and Saturday nights wisely while still being "out"

[Jpsilver]

For most of the last 15 years my social energy has been something that I sell. The more of it I give away the less I have to sell. The more I give away without enjoying the more I'm like, "fuck, I could have gotten $xxx doing that with clients instead of friends."

Mind blown. I could sell my social energy too! Being paid would make going out in the traditional sense much more bearable! Hahah, what do you do really? (I'm assuming you're not an escort of any kind )

Why would you assume that?

For no reason in particular, I just thought it's unlikely. Also, I wanted your occupation to be something I could copy for myself

[jennypenny]

You guys should just read rip's journal.

[riparian]

Why would you assume that?

For no reason in particular, I just thought it's unlikely. Also, I wanted your occupation to be something I could copy for myself

I'd start with bartending. Or learning to market the skills you already have.

[theplk]

I forgot that I also often watch a sporting event on TV on Saturday nights. Is usually a lot of fun.

[Chad]

At some point you realize you aren't missing anything by not going "out." Not that I still don't enjoy going "out" now and then, but it's maybe once every month or more, and it's normally low key places. Most of the time everyone socializes at other people's homes. Basically, I have rid my life of acquaintances, what extroverts call friends, and kept my actual friends.

On nights I don't hang out with friends I do what many of you do. Read, write, play a video game or two, and watch sports (either mixed martial arts or football). I need to join some sports leagues, but they won't necessarily play on Fri/Sat nights.

[jennypenny]

I prefer going to see live music. It's the only socializing I can really stand. I can get away with not talking to anyone while I'm listening to the music. I find socializing draining but I find live music invigorating.

[Jpsilver]

Last Friday/Saturday nights I implemented some changes in the VBA macros of my Excel financial sheet and did some reading. During day-time I did my weekend chores, read, socialized a bit with my roomies, cooked and rid my bike. I hadn't had such an invigorating weekend in a long time.

Thanks for the advice riparian, bartending makes me anxious but maybe that's a good sign that I should give it a try oh, I read your journal, pretty cool!

[JohnnyH]

I've got a 'Field of Dreams' concept going on... I like the bar: beers, friends, music but the downsides: expensive, lousy beer, occasionally unfriendly people, poor/no/too loud music, lousy or no food, no games.

So I'm pretty much going to build my perfect bar environment at my house. All of the good, none of the bad... The only thing missing would be the chance of unknown/danger/excitement, which could be replicated by just having old friends show up with new ones.

However, I must be careful, unwanted people, or even wanted people, showing up at their whim could ruin my day... Don't want the door so wide open drunks come by uninvited at all hours/days and annoy me.