A few days ago a friend sent me an accredited test for depression. I scored "moderately severe".
This was rather surprising to me, but when I think about it, it makes sense.
When I'm not in school, days tend to pass me by in a sort of haze. I spend my time reading articles, posting on forums and having conversations with people over IM and IRC, rather than actually doing things which are constructive.
I suffer from a sort of general anhedonia; I can't really put my finger on anything that specifically gives me pleasure.
I tend to have patterns of negative thoughts, often I'll start activities then get feelings that they're pointless and stop.
More of my time is spent thinking and talking about my problems than actually working towards solving them.
I have exams in about a week, and I've found that when I force myself to do work or study I begin to have thoughts that I should just really give up. I also struggle to organise and structure my study sessions, even though I feel like I should. It's as if there's some sort of mental 'heaviness' that saps my desire and concentration.
Over the past few days I've found it difficult to be bothered to really cook anything, and combined with a lack of pleasure from eating, I think as a result I tend to undereat, which may further perpetuate my low mood.
I also sometimes have a tendency to be anxious and jumpy: one of my friends has made comments about it; and I do often feel that way.
Until recently I'd accepted most of these things as a normal part of life, but now I feel as if I should probably see a psychiatrist.
I would like to be able to motivate myself better, and be more focused. I often wonder what it is that's stopping me, but when it comes down to it I still fail to maintain concentration when I need it the most, and I find it is due to a regular pattern of negative thoughts.
Does anyone have any similar experiences or advice? I've decided I'm going to try to get more exercise, as I've heard from many sources that that's supposed to improve mood.
Depression and anxiety (warning, lots of stuff about me!)
Yep, sounds like depression to me. If you are in school, check and see if you can get free help on campus. My school has both counselors and access to a psychiatrist should you need medicine - for free.
Exercise is a good start, but you may need more. I have to take medication - probably for life, but it's improved my life immensely.
Exercise is a good start, but you may need more. I have to take medication - probably for life, but it's improved my life immensely.
"Hey" from across the Channel 
. Perhaps, while waiting for professional help, you could try to structure your days better. And maybe also reduce online time, it could help to feel better if you interact with real people. The act of studying has never been my strength, either. Are you judging yourself too harshly? (Nobody can study for 4x2 hours every day and stay focused and happy). Is it possible to balance your studies and the other areas of your life better (for example: will you still pass the tests when you study less and spend more time exercising, preparing meals and socializing?).
Depression is rather tough, no denying that, but maybe you could make your life a bit more comfortable for yourself while you wait for more focused professional help. Good luck
. Perhaps, while waiting for professional help, you could try to structure your days better. And maybe also reduce online time, it could help to feel better if you interact with real people. The act of studying has never been my strength, either. Are you judging yourself too harshly? (Nobody can study for 4x2 hours every day and stay focused and happy). Is it possible to balance your studies and the other areas of your life better (for example: will you still pass the tests when you study less and spend more time exercising, preparing meals and socializing?). Depression is rather tough, no denying that, but maybe you could make your life a bit more comfortable for yourself while you wait for more focused professional help. Good luck
Try reading the "How of Happiness..." (http://chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/) It is based on happiness research rather than the usual random BS.
I hope you feel better.
I hope you feel better.
I feel like I need to spend a good amount of time practising in order to get the grades I would like. Unlike the other exams I've been doing the past couple of years, I only get one chance at these, and I feel I'll judge myself based on the grades I get. This is combined with the fact that I need 90% to get the top grade instead of the 80% I needed last year (it's complicated, there's a special A* grade that is calculated based on results in this year only).
However, I find the act of practising frustrating. In physics especially, which I've taught myself, I have a nagging feeling that my understanding is somehow still incomplete. Besides that, I hate studying "exam technique" with a passion, it's counter to my ideas of what education really should be about.
On the plus side, my average is good enough that I only need 70% in everything to make my university offer!
On the subject of interacting with people in real life more; I've never really interacted with people outside of school that much. Certain members of my immediate family tend to irritate me. And I find friendship and romance generally difficult and awkward, if not superficial.
However, I find the act of practising frustrating. In physics especially, which I've taught myself, I have a nagging feeling that my understanding is somehow still incomplete. Besides that, I hate studying "exam technique" with a passion, it's counter to my ideas of what education really should be about.
On the plus side, my average is good enough that I only need 70% in everything to make my university offer!
On the subject of interacting with people in real life more; I've never really interacted with people outside of school that much. Certain members of my immediate family tend to irritate me. And I find friendship and romance generally difficult and awkward, if not superficial.
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aussierogue
- Posts: 379
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:02 pm
Hi there
What you are describing is not unfamiliar to many on this forum and indeed in the real world. I will start by saying you are probably an INTJ...lol. Anyway you should check out your personality type first.
Secondly the good news is that what you are experienceing is common and probably part environment (studying, young, inexperienced) and part genetic (predisposed to meloncholy etc)
As someone who can relate to your post i think the best thing you can do is view this is an exciting challenge that will probably take you quite a few years to understand. here is your chance to really get to know yourself. Try different things (study, work, socially), seek different advice (doctors, councellors, books, friends, and mix it up life style wise - in other words step it up a little.....get fit, yoga, meditation, eat properly and feed your spiritual side.
The only real way out of this is a mixture of self awareness (which you are clearly getting), lifestyle changes and professional medical help. But depression, mood swings, bi polar, nracissim, introversion - whatever you may have, is never blck and white....
know thyself, have broad plan and try and enjoy the ride...
cheers
aussie
What you are describing is not unfamiliar to many on this forum and indeed in the real world. I will start by saying you are probably an INTJ...lol. Anyway you should check out your personality type first.
Secondly the good news is that what you are experienceing is common and probably part environment (studying, young, inexperienced) and part genetic (predisposed to meloncholy etc)
As someone who can relate to your post i think the best thing you can do is view this is an exciting challenge that will probably take you quite a few years to understand. here is your chance to really get to know yourself. Try different things (study, work, socially), seek different advice (doctors, councellors, books, friends, and mix it up life style wise - in other words step it up a little.....get fit, yoga, meditation, eat properly and feed your spiritual side.
The only real way out of this is a mixture of self awareness (which you are clearly getting), lifestyle changes and professional medical help. But depression, mood swings, bi polar, nracissim, introversion - whatever you may have, is never blck and white....
know thyself, have broad plan and try and enjoy the ride...
cheers
aussie
Thanks for the advice, aussie! I believe I'm INTP; generally the results of online tests I've taken have reflected that, as well as my difficulty settling on a long-term plan. However, I suppose I recognise that the journey is more important than where I end up.
And thanks for the recommendation, rjack, though I've just spent my Amazon gift voucher on Jacob's book and YMOYL! Reading the synopsis, it seems to be worth picking up. I'll definitely add it to my list.
And thanks for the recommendation, rjack, though I've just spent my Amazon gift voucher on Jacob's book and YMOYL! Reading the synopsis, it seems to be worth picking up. I'll definitely add it to my list.
Hi Tzxn3,
Try reading up on Buddhism or Stoicism. Those philosophies may help to ground you. Eckart Tolle's 'A New Earth' and David Hawkin's 'Power versus Force' really helped me out. Keep in mind that I am an INFJ so those books may resonate differently for you.
Remember that you are not your thoughts. It will pass.
Courage.
Try reading up on Buddhism or Stoicism. Those philosophies may help to ground you. Eckart Tolle's 'A New Earth' and David Hawkin's 'Power versus Force' really helped me out. Keep in mind that I am an INFJ so those books may resonate differently for you.
Remember that you are not your thoughts.
It will pass.Courage.
As others have already noted, I think the majority of the people on here, and especially the introverts, have experienced a lot of what you describe. I know I do.
A lot of times I forget what I trully enjoy by being distracted by "easier" choices. For me, it takes a concious and direct decision to prevent this or I end up doing and feeling like you do when you say:
"days tend to pass me by in a sort of haze. I spend my time reading articles, posting on forums and having conversations with people over IM and IRC, rather than actually doing things which are constructive."
What really ticks me off at myself is that once I make that decision and go do what I really want to do, but seem to dread(such as a team sport, write, go to the gym, social event, etc.) because of one small part, I feel a lot better.
"...begin to have thoughts that I should just really give up."
"...mental 'heaviness' that saps my desire and concentration."
I think anyone who has deeper thoughts about life, etc. has those thoughts. You can find that in Jacob's blog posts and most everyone else's in the forums.
You have to learn to understand that a lot doesn't matter on a high level of existence (rational), but it does on a lower level of existence (emotional, structure, order, etc.). I'm not talking about spiritual here. I'm touching on how our species struggles with being rational. The more rational among our species (us!) are going to struggle with a lot of things others deem important, but we see as unimportant. We are not always correct on that evaluation. Yes, it came as a big surprise to me too.
Also, this will be a constant struggle. You don't find the answer and solve it. You have to find the answer and keep finding it, but it's always there.
Thinking positive thoughts does go a long way to helping this whole thing.
A lot of times I forget what I trully enjoy by being distracted by "easier" choices. For me, it takes a concious and direct decision to prevent this or I end up doing and feeling like you do when you say:
"days tend to pass me by in a sort of haze. I spend my time reading articles, posting on forums and having conversations with people over IM and IRC, rather than actually doing things which are constructive."
What really ticks me off at myself is that once I make that decision and go do what I really want to do, but seem to dread(such as a team sport, write, go to the gym, social event, etc.) because of one small part, I feel a lot better.
"...begin to have thoughts that I should just really give up."
"...mental 'heaviness' that saps my desire and concentration."
I think anyone who has deeper thoughts about life, etc. has those thoughts. You can find that in Jacob's blog posts and most everyone else's in the forums.
You have to learn to understand that a lot doesn't matter on a high level of existence (rational), but it does on a lower level of existence (emotional, structure, order, etc.). I'm not talking about spiritual here. I'm touching on how our species struggles with being rational. The more rational among our species (us!) are going to struggle with a lot of things others deem important, but we see as unimportant. We are not always correct on that evaluation. Yes, it came as a big surprise to me too.
Also, this will be a constant struggle. You don't find the answer and solve it. You have to find the answer and keep finding it, but it's always there.
Thinking positive thoughts does go a long way to helping this whole thing.
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zarathustra
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 11:15 pm
- Location: VEGAS, BABY
I experienced some very bad depression and anxiety in college and also felt like that was just life, but when it got to "that" dark place, I did take medication in order to gain some "perspective" or "distance" from the feelings. I didn't take it for very long because as soon as I got the perspective I needed and got a little bit of drive and motivation back and had made a plan, I stopped taking the medication and focused on my plan and working on reading myself for when those feelings would start coming back. I would use some techniques to relax myself and remind myself that I'm not perfect and shouldn't expect myself to be.
For anxiety, I ask myself "Do you care the right amount?" which forces me to realize that I am probably caring TOO much and it is harmful. I cut myself some serious slack with self-talk.
For depression, I remind myself that these "feelings" are chemicals in my brain, not some capitol T truth I am uncovering within myself. It can and will pass.
Once I have gained some distance from these overwhelming feelings, I can then make a judgment about if there actually IS something I need to change or do to improve my situation or how I feel about myself.
Another bit of advice that hasn't been emphasized so far is DIET. Food manipulates your hormone levels directly. Exercise too, but that has been covered. There are countless people including myself that have seen extreme improvements in their anxiety and depression issues by simply cutting WAY down or out sugar/carbs. Something to consider.
Start on working towards one thing you can focus on that you feel (if you can feel anything right now) driven towards. If you are not feeling anything, try to remember what you used to feel strongly about and hang on to that. Have faith in that and that it will return. Remember something that used to make you feel amazing. For me, it was a combo of music + how beautiful people are when they really open up to you and share. It was the only thing I had even though I couldn't feel it.
Good luck. I feel for you. I promise this is just a period of time that you WILL look back on as a time of growth. It will end and you will be glad you came out the other end.
For anxiety, I ask myself "Do you care the right amount?" which forces me to realize that I am probably caring TOO much and it is harmful. I cut myself some serious slack with self-talk.
For depression, I remind myself that these "feelings" are chemicals in my brain, not some capitol T truth I am uncovering within myself. It can and will pass.
Once I have gained some distance from these overwhelming feelings, I can then make a judgment about if there actually IS something I need to change or do to improve my situation or how I feel about myself.
Another bit of advice that hasn't been emphasized so far is DIET. Food manipulates your hormone levels directly. Exercise too, but that has been covered. There are countless people including myself that have seen extreme improvements in their anxiety and depression issues by simply cutting WAY down or out sugar/carbs. Something to consider.
Start on working towards one thing you can focus on that you feel (if you can feel anything right now) driven towards. If you are not feeling anything, try to remember what you used to feel strongly about and hang on to that. Have faith in that and that it will return. Remember something that used to make you feel amazing. For me, it was a combo of music + how beautiful people are when they really open up to you and share. It was the only thing I had even though I couldn't feel it.
Good luck. I feel for you. I promise this is just a period of time that you WILL look back on as a time of growth. It will end and you will be glad you came out the other end.
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Christopherjart
- Posts: 191
- Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:03 am
- Contact:
Depression runs on my father's side of the family and cancer on my mother's side so it makes life interesting.
I had strong depression when I was 20 and 21 just out of the family farm after being "protected" from life by my parents. I was pretty angry, confused and lacking in life experience in general.
I tried going to a therapist and even taking Zoloft, but what did the trick for me was a big change. I moved to a different state. (Three years later I changed countries to no regret, but that wasn't because of depression!)
I realized I wasn't happy where I was and doing what I was doing. Happiness isn't about 10 years from now; it is about today, and this week and this month.
It is about setting reachable goals and accomplishing them. When I'm sad, the best therapy for me is to call a friend and go have coffee or lunch or to try something new or go to a new place. Sometimes we just need to get away and break the routine for a few days.
What are your needs and which are not being fulfilled? I'm an ENFJ and I know that even though I'm a moderate extrovert, I need social time. As a NF I need affection and a sense of belonging and as a J, I need structure in my life (even if my bedroom is usually a mess)
Think about your personality. What might you be lacking to cause those results?
I agree with the comments about the physical issues. Eating healthy (especially lots of fresh vegetables) and exercise make a huge difference. Eating more than a small portion of meat and/or carbs seem to slow us down and have a downer effect a short while after the initial pleasure wears off.
my tips: Eat at least one fresh vegetable salad as a meal each day and have a large portion of a cooked vegetable or mixed cooked vegetable the other meal. Only eat small portions of meat or dairy. Do yoga or some other exercise at least a half hour each day. Go for a walk with a friend one day. go for coffee with another the next day. The following day is for you to spend time with yourself. Try something new each week.
I had strong depression when I was 20 and 21 just out of the family farm after being "protected" from life by my parents. I was pretty angry, confused and lacking in life experience in general.
I tried going to a therapist and even taking Zoloft, but what did the trick for me was a big change. I moved to a different state. (Three years later I changed countries to no regret, but that wasn't because of depression!)
I realized I wasn't happy where I was and doing what I was doing. Happiness isn't about 10 years from now; it is about today, and this week and this month.
It is about setting reachable goals and accomplishing them. When I'm sad, the best therapy for me is to call a friend and go have coffee or lunch or to try something new or go to a new place. Sometimes we just need to get away and break the routine for a few days.
What are your needs and which are not being fulfilled? I'm an ENFJ and I know that even though I'm a moderate extrovert, I need social time. As a NF I need affection and a sense of belonging and as a J, I need structure in my life (even if my bedroom is usually a mess)
Think about your personality. What might you be lacking to cause those results?
I agree with the comments about the physical issues. Eating healthy (especially lots of fresh vegetables) and exercise make a huge difference. Eating more than a small portion of meat and/or carbs seem to slow us down and have a downer effect a short while after the initial pleasure wears off.
my tips: Eat at least one fresh vegetable salad as a meal each day and have a large portion of a cooked vegetable or mixed cooked vegetable the other meal. Only eat small portions of meat or dairy. Do yoga or some other exercise at least a half hour each day. Go for a walk with a friend one day. go for coffee with another the next day. The following day is for you to spend time with yourself. Try something new each week.
Hey there Tzmn3. I posted a similar thread a few months ago.
It turns out the medication I was on which was supposed to help with my anxiety was making it worse. I'm off meds now and feel better than I have in a long time. I am in therapy now which isn't cheap, but is worth it to me.
I'm reading a book you might find helpful for your negative thoughts: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns. It is heavy on cognitive behaviour therapy and how the way way we think shapes our moods rather than the other way around.
Good luck. Feeling anxious and depressed is an awful way to live.
It turns out the medication I was on which was supposed to help with my anxiety was making it worse. I'm off meds now and feel better than I have in a long time. I am in therapy now which isn't cheap, but is worth it to me.
I'm reading a book you might find helpful for your negative thoughts: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns. It is heavy on cognitive behaviour therapy and how the way way we think shapes our moods rather than the other way around.
Good luck. Feeling anxious and depressed is an awful way to live.