though it's a little show-off-y, it's kinda hot.i also get annoyed with the FB or online interaction bashing. it's fallacious because the value of interactions is based solely on subjectivity and the context, which can be the SAME no matter what forum you are interacting in.
this is quite a relevant post for me in general, but especially lately since i'm still pretty new to the bay area and my very small group of friends that i have meaningful dialogue with are still in pdx. it's hard.
i've always tested intj or entj . . . a friend recently called me the most extroverted introvert he's ever met. i can play and even genuinely be outgoing, but i do have a limit of about 2 hours max and then i need my recharge of solitude. i withdraw and start to get anxious; looking like an addict dying for a fix. UNLESS there is meaningful interaction; then i can go on for hours. (that's what she said)
i think that what was said earlier about exercising that social muscle is important. there are many weekends i'd much prefer to read alone in the bath, but i force myself one night a week to walk to the pub and have a drink and try to seem approachable (i bring a homemade one with me in my bag). at least 75% of the time i come away disappointed with the interaction, but there are times i can get at least one meaningful conversation in with someone. that helps restore a little faith.
now, i think it's easier for those with kids, spouses, or significant others to lean on those relationships, which i'm not saying is bad or good. what i'm saying is that i'm not in any of those boats, so i am in a position where i HAVE to venture out of my "comfort zone" to give life a chance to show me people i can have meaningful interactions with and possibly a love interest.
i tend to try to focus on getting people to "reveal a bit of real" if you know what i mean. i value "the real" in people but i think most are not used to it being required or desired from others, so they stick to what is "socially acceptable", which is boring and meaningless drivel and/or lame come-ons. the tactic hoplite's friend uses i don't think would work with most people because it's a little attacky, but to each his own.
when you get through with someone, though, the payoff is amazing and relationships can be formed. just because someone starts off with the shallow convos we all despise does not mean they can't do the deeper ones. we, as a society, are just conditioned to keep that in and/or ignore it. i think a lot of people are HUNGRY to be genuine but can't take the first step. i can't tell you how many times people have told me how refreshing it was to let go and be real for once. that makes my "attempts" at being social worth it.
so i guess i'm saying: exercise the muscle and focus less on how lowly everyone else's conversations are and think about the fact that maybe there are a lot more people than you think who have something deep and meaningful to offer but don't know how or don't think it's desired from others. give people a chance and try not to be judgy in your approach!
