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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 1:51 am 

Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:59 pm
Posts: 21

OK, I'll be the first to bite. Where are the single ERE ladies?




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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:29 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:31 am
Posts: 918
Location: NYC

All the single ladies?




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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:49 am 

Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:17 pm
Posts: 1315

It you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.




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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:38 am 

Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Posts: 771

... A frugal ring, of course.


Sorry, taken. Love my guy. Plus I'm probably too far away. But good luck.




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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 2:00 pm 

Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:06 am
Posts: 42

I would like to know, too.




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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 10:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:00 pm
Posts: 1924
Location: Rockies

From the population figures I've seen: single ladies migrate to pop. centers for college/employment... And up to half move back to their upbringing to raise children.


Thus concludes my narrative, on 'where the single ladies at.'




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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:32 pm 

Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:01 am
Posts: 29

I'm a single lady. I live in Austin, TX, but I'm not sure where I'll live when I'm retired.




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:08 pm 

Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 9:44 pm
Posts: 50

It's best to start an ERE club at your local college community if you want to date ERE women/men ;)




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:44 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2011 12:38 am
Posts: 7

I am single, living in San Francisco.




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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:28 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:22 pm
Posts: 270

I am gay...and no I will NOT put on heels.




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 5:05 am 

Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 4:05 am
Posts: 55

Hmm, how old are you, FrugalZen? :-)




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:17 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:22 pm
Posts: 270

54 mikenotspam... too bad you live in RI.




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 3:49 pm 

Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2011 4:05 am
Posts: 55

Ah, OK. I am also about half your age! When ERE has world domination in 50 years and gay ERE dating websites abound, historians will look back at this thread as the momentous precursor to their dating paradigm. We're trendsetters for relationships. But just single. Hmm...




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:27 pm 

Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:22 pm
Posts: 270

OH! Great!!!....just what I always wanted to be...


A Footnote In History....LOL!!


And my age shouldn't mean anything...after all how many straight men in mid-life trade in a "40" for Two "20's"...}:>P




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:22 pm 

Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:54 am
Posts: 79

Taken, thank goodness :) Dating is a madhouse. Question for you guys though: Where/how are you seeking out your ERE-minded mate? One thing I have noticed with many of my male friends is that they seem to be very strongly motivated by physical appearance. Even guys who claim to appreciate non-physical traits like brains, thrift, humor, etc. seem to consistently date or try to date women who are physically almost interchangeable (i.e., one guy goes only for tall brunettes, another seems to be blind to women who aren't Asian, and so on). If I try to fix a guy friend up with someone, they immediately ask about the woman's physical appearance. I haven't noticed this quite so much in women, although I'm sure there are other things women do when seeking out a partner that are similarly shallow. I'm not advocating going out and dating women that you find to be physically repulsive, but you might want to consider whether or not you are (consciously or unconsciously) limiting your pool of potential mates by ignoring anyone who isn't your physical "type". Seriously ERE minded folk are few and far between, so if that is an important trait to you, you may have to "settle" on some other more superficial qualities.




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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:57 pm 

Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:40 pm
Posts: 459

I'm taken also at the moment...


But I read some of the other threads about how is one supposed to find someone, where the dating ritual seems to require all of this up front showing of cash etc...


My first date with my boyfriend, he paid for lunch out. I think it was $25.


The second time we just went downtown and walked around all night, for hours, talking. We did eventually get hungry and stop and eat somewhere. I paid that time. (I'm not one of those people who think the man has to pay for everything, that's not very fair.)


By then, I liked him, he liked me, we had hit it off, and he didn't have to spend money to impress me, that's not what I look for.


I just have this question: Why do you want to be with someone that just expects you to flash the cash all the time? I think it's actually quite a good screen out... if after a few dates they are still expecting that kind of behavior, and ERE is one of your important life goals, you are probably not compatible.


I actually partially got divorced over this... my husband repeatedly called me cheap and refused to let me "control" his money... wow did I dodge a bullet!!!!!!!




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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:14 am 

Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:00 am
Posts: 622

^ Ditto. My best dates have been hiking, canoeing, and hitch hiking trips that were free or close to it.




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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:33 am 

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 1093
Location: Bodymore, Murderland

Dating truly does suck. Throw ERE into the mix and it gets really ugly.


Anyone in the Baltimore MD area looking for a roommate with benefits--er, boyfriend?




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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:40 pm 

Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2011 1:06 am
Posts: 29

While I'm neither single, nor a lady, I can say that when I was dating I found many frugal but fun date ideas. At the time the frugality of them was actually a secondary or tertiary concern, and the primary reason for them was because I didn't like the traditional dating activities (dinner and a movie, going to a bar, etc.) and wanted to find something that I enjoy.


What I found somewhat successful was this:

-Get on a site like Plenty of Fish and write up an honest/accurate profile, describing your interests, life goals, etc. Don't be too serious and throw in lots of your own brand of humour, but don't lie to make yourself look "better" as this will make things more difficult. You are trying to find someone who appreciates your qualities so there is no point in trying to hide them (though do try to pick the better ones to show off first, and start to introduce your annoying quirks a little later in the process).

-Look for ladies with similar interests and outlook on life. If your goal is to travel the world, don't message people who say they want to settle down and raise a 4 child family. If your main interests are hiking and mountain biking, don't message people who say they enjoy going to the club with their friends. Make sure you pay attention to everything in their profile and not just their written description - lots of people say they like hiking/camping for some reason when all of their profile pictures show an unfit person wearing lots of make up getting drunk at the club (as an example).

-Send messages to people you found interesting. Write your message well (with proper spelling and grammar, not with msn/text speak), introducing yourself and talking a little about what caught your eye about them. Suggest getting together to chat over one of the activities you both like to do, but choose something that is non-committal and easy for both of you to duck out of. For example, if you both enjoy hiking suggest going for a walk together, but maybe don't pick a 20 mile climb way out of the city for the first date - just a couple mile nature walk close to amenities will be good for an introduction, and if things go well you can extend it from there.

-Don't be upset when you don't hear back from people. Although two people may seem compatible on paper, not everyone clicks. I would say if you write your messages well, you can expect a reply from maybe one in five sent. Of those only a few will want to meet you after chatting for a bit, and of those only some will click.


Anyway, that's my take on it. I didn't mean to write a "dating guide" as that's probably not what your looking for (and I'm far from an expert at it anyway).


TL;DR: Look on free dating sites for people with similar goals/interests, propose cheap/interesting activities for dates that you both do anyway, don't get hung up if things don't work out.




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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:43 pm 

Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2011 8:16 pm
Posts: 267

newly single* and ready to mingle heh heh heh


*amicable split




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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:43 pm 

Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:38 pm
Posts: 4

31yo SWF but I'm extremely picky when choosing a mate. Who knows I might end up being a spinster but I'd rather not settle. The thing that bugs me is that I'm losing out on all of the economy of scale that can be achieved by two people living together and working toward a common goal rather than just me by my lonesome. ;)




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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:34 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 180

Thankfully after the wreck of marriage with my ex, my new girlfriend has turned out to be almost as frugal as I am. While she may spend a bit more, she never pushes me to spend, and quite often says how she loves how I can make do with less. I wish I could tell you I found her by dating online, but actually she is an old girlfriend from college. We both wish we had stuck with each other back then instead of who we ended up with in the interim.




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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 2:40 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:10 pm
Posts: 2441

@frugalcoconut

I follow the same theory and refuse to settle (39). Though, as you say, it is annoying missing out on economies of scale.




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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:39 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:23 pm
Posts: 35

34 yr old (35 in May) SWM. Dating is a maelstrom of conflicting expectations, desires, fantasies, and hopes. Somewhere in all that one hopefully finds someone that's a good match. I'm hopeful. :)




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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:49 am 

Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 4:41 am
Posts: 41

I am surprised to read these posts in ERE.

For me, the only way to live ERE is to NOT date and get married. I find the vast majority of women are completely counterproductive to my lifestyle and goals.




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