Roles (who makes the money, who does the dishes, who cooks dinner, who fights the zombies,...) are recognized but they're not assigned to gender. Instead people do what they're good at/prefer to do/have to do relative to ditto for the other person (or persons if there are more people in the household). It is recognized that the importance of roles is independent of how much it pays, because the whole is greater than the sum of the roles insofar the roles are well combined cf. following a traditional pattern where people perform undesired roles simply because culture expect them to.7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑Fri Nov 10, 2023 9:30 amAnyways, I was kind of hoping the younger generation might have some further insight. One thing I have noted is that gender roles are one of the items up for renegotiation or integration at Level Yellow after being thoroughly obliterated at Level Green. I held a very naive Level Green assumption in my first marriage that our relationship would be very egalitarian; in fact that was included in our vows, but it didn't exactly work out that way.
From a whole systems perspective, it's hard to say what is more valuable: Making the money that pays for the food or cooking the food. One role does not exist without the other role. Now imagine multiple roles and it becomes hard to say who should do what based on gender and how much each component should be valued because outcomes are often determined by a combination of several roles.
It's interesting to compare the traditional western pattern to the traditional Japanese pattern. LMK if I'm completely wrong here. In Japan, the housewife is in control of all the finances. The husband's role is simply to get a paycheck and hand it over to his wife who then decides how to spend it. Who holds the upper hand there?
Since I didn't notice it being mentioned, there will be some judgment from the rest of the culture. For example, when I quit back in 2009, I caught some flak to the effect of "he's not retired, because his wife still works". This [only] makes sense from a certain world-view and obviously you'll have to deal with world-views like that.
) Also, as I noted above, I have noticed that Sexual Dichotomy theory, which I first encountered in a relationship therapy group, keeps popping up in my SD related reading. Here's why this discussion might be important from your perspective/situation. How would you explain the difference between the TradWife perspective vs. Radical Homemaker perspective to another human? One answer I might give would be that both movements are attempting to process serious problems with Modern life/Level Orange, but one is self-aware choosing to return to Level Blue/Traditional, while the other is self-aware choosing to experiment at Level Green towards Yellow. Similarly, what differentiates Sexual Dichotomy theory at Level Turquoise from anti-feminist theory is that preferred sexual energy(s) are not assigned to gender/sex/orientation. In simplest terms, I might say (as the author wrote) "The difference is that a Radical Homemaker could be any partner in a relationship or both/all of them." 
) level, what I am wondering, based on both my own personal experience and reading,is whether I might have to self-aware become more of a Domme sexually in order to have the sort of household egalitarian relationship I would prefer (self-aware, "switchy" and overt, as opposed to slump-to-the-center-of-the-sofa-compromised-neutral.) I thought I could better maintain my highly independent social (eNTP, we only lead because we don't want to follow) functioning in conjunction with my self-aware submissive sexual identity//preference by becoming polyamorous and therefore not majorly overlapping my own "turf" with any one of the dominant men with whom I partner, but it keeps defaulting to one or another arrangment which I do not prefer. Also, not unlike the BDSM scene, the polyamorous dating scene is loaded with sexually submissive men (who often may be "perversely" highly socially dominant.) Some man micro-managing me while I do the dishes, and then texting me detailed instructions of exactly how he would prefer for me to top him in bed, pretty much defines the relationship I would have to be paid $$$ to willingly participate in. MMV extensively.