Embracing Solitude: INTJ's Journey Towards Retirement

[okumurahata]

@Scott 2, @Lemur,

I appreciate your perspective and experience in the corporate world. You have become financially independent playing a certain way; the way that worked for you.

I reckon that there are people who have played a different game and became FI as well. I don’t think that there is a unique approach to achieve results. Maybe I’ll achieve FI later, or maybe I become homeless in the process, who knows. Perhaps a financial catharsis changes the FI 4% rule forever. Life is long. There is nothing certain. What I know for sure is that ‘Your life is your life’, as Bukowski wrote.

If the way I live my life leads to one positive outcome in the world, it can be an example for people living a similar situation. If I don’t achieve it, at least, I’ll have tried. Let me be a stubborn asshole. Let me document the results. Let me play.

[Henry]

@Henry:

Do you think a teeny-tiny rare book dealer with some low level data-science skillz could take down J.Bozo and Humongous, Inc.?

No. But still a better chance than the sorry ass Okumurahata of the Amazon Tacoma WA Northwest Regional office who stays quiet and suffers silently through endless days eating his own stomach juices listening to his pompous middle manager reminding everyone that he was on a corporate Zoom call with a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who pissed in the urinal directly next to Jeff Bezos at the 2015 Amazon supply chain and logistics conference because he thinks he might not be considered a team player.

[okumurahata]

March 2024 update:

Code: Select all

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Assets
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stocks: 39.397,72 EUR
Cash: 18.216,63 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 57.614,35 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Liabilities
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debt: 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly income
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Job: 2.200 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 2.200 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly expenses
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rent: 500 EUR
Electricity: ~40 EUR
Water: ~20 EUR
Internet: 40 EUR
Food: ~400 EUR
Gym: ~50 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 1.050 EUR
+----------------------------------+

Progress until retirement (considering 25x yearly expenses):

Code: Select all

⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 18,29%

[okumurahata]

Quick update on how things are going. My manager had a one-to-one with me and explained the career path for the next few years. It’s not a guarantee that I’ll keep my position, but they’re showing that theoretically, I have a career path in this company if I choose to pursue it (we’re talking about an 8-year plan). I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I want to try new things, increase my salary, and so on. I honestly think that 8 years would be insufferable. On the other hand, they seem to tolerate @oku’s anarchic behaviour; perhaps other companies aren’t as welcoming.

Regarding the elephant in the room, coworker A and I have reached a compromise, and I’m teaching her how to do the tedious work. We’re dedicating one hour per week, so now we both have skin in the game.

Personally, despite trying to be as collaborative as possible, I feel somewhat disrespected in this company on a day-to-day basis. It might sound elitist and horrible, but I feel like I’m a doctor being ruled by ‘know-it-all’ nurses. Every day, I have this feeling that I want to quit, but I also feel mentally committed to the position. It’s akin to being committed to a relationship where there’s no connection.

[Henry]

People used to be fulfilled with their work not because of what it meant personally to them but because of what it provided - they could take care of their families.. Now everyone wants to be fulfilled by what they do. Good luck with that. My suggestion was not to take shit at the office. Which I think you demonstrated. I never suggested to like the office because you'd have to be extremely fucked up to do that.

[okumurahata]

From the vantage point of retirement and detached from emotional involvement, what might @Henry choose to do? There are two options:

a. Remain in the current position for 8 years, aiming to achieve financial independence in the process.

b. Roll the dice and take more chances post-June when the contract expires, hoping to secure a position with a higher salary or better fit, risking current ‘stability’ (8 years promise).

There’s a constraint: assuming a dislike for office environments regardless of the location, and recognizing rebellious tendencies that are challenging to reconcile with office norms, which I find more disgusting than returning to high school in terms of social politics.

[AxelHeyst]

You might have already touched on this, but: have you considered a path to being an independent? Freelancer, solopreneur, etc?

Identify a skill at the intersection of (you're good at it and enjoy it), (it is valuable and people will pay for it), and (it is difficult enough that not many other people can offer it).

So instead of deciding whether or not to hop on the career advancement path as laid out by this corp you find insufferable, devise your own ideal career path. Get your job duties done as efficiently as possible and then spend your time leveling up your skillset to the point where you could start a side hustle. At some point when the side hustle is stable and paying your bills, quit insufferable corporate gig and go full time on your hustle. Level up a few more times because you'll be able to focus totally on it instead of dealing with office space BS, probably earn more $ faster than per trad career path, and hit FI sooner and on your own terms.

[Henry]

From the vantage point of retirement and detached from emotional involvement, what might @Henry choose to do? There are two options:

a. Remain in the current position for 8 years, aiming to achieve financial independence in the process.

b. Roll the dice and take more chances post-June when the contract expires, hoping to secure a position with a higher salary or better fit, risking current ‘stability’ (8 years promise).

a.

[okumurahata]

@AxelHeyst,

I would be very grateful if I could make a living being a solopreneur. Even if that involved a significant reduction in salary. The problem is that I tried it in the past and failed miserably.

Moreover, I don’t feel particularly talented, and I already use 100% of my energy on my job. The thought of doing something with a computer after working hours is unbearable for me at this point. I should decide between X and Y.

Option X would result in guaranteed misery, but it offers a relatively safe exit from the system (hopefully between 2030 and 2035).

Option Y is exciting, but the likelihood of failure and having to begin anew, particularly now that I’m no longer young, is a factor to carefully weigh before making a decision.

[Henry]

I would be very grateful if I could make a living being a solopreneur.

There is no such thing. Human ontology militates against human autonomy. You will always be working for someone. In the end it will be your own voices. If you use the most reductionist definition of maturity: the exchange of external reinforcements for internal reinforcements, moving from scenario a to scenario b is a distinction with no real differences. You will still be stuck doing time in an endeavor you know you don't like. Maybe your cell will have a better paint job but it's still a cell. Maybe you'll actually run the yard. But it's still an economic prison. You are not releasing yourself. You are merely transferring yourself. A prisoner on the outside picking trash is still a prisoner. Do your time where you are and be released a free man.

[Lemur]

I am with Henry on this one. I did most of my Caesar rendering as a financial consultant (including a 3 year stint at a big 4 accounting firm which was literal hell on Earth). 7 years total (after 7 year military career but I wasn’t aware of FIRE/ERE then so those were basically lost years with little savings..oof).

But the high stress bullshit job was worth it in the end. Because those 3 years were so intense, despite mentally going crazy sometimes, it made my next job after that so much more tolerable (like strengthening a muscle in a gym, I have always felt I increased my stress tolerance mentally). Now I am FI and have a job where I am basically coasting. And somehow making more money too. It is all fun now. That ability to be able to walk away whenever you want is so damn freeing.

It’s a personal preference but I’d go with option X and try to find a better position. It is sometimes inconceivable, but going “up the ladder” can actually put you in a spot where not only you make more money, but you could end up doing less bullshit overall. Ever thought of government work?

Get the key to your shackles Oku.

[okumurahata]

Thanks, everyone. I’ll stick with it then, if the option’s available when the contract ends in June. I feel like I’ve had a similar career path to yours, @Lemur, albeit without the military experience and earning less money in general. I also had a brief stint at a major consulting firm, which nearly drove me insane, leading me to work for the government—sometimes externally, sometimes as part of it. I’m battling my demons, as evident from this diary, and the parallel of a prison definitely strikes a chord with me. The only thing I wish is if I could progress faster, or reduce the amount of time spent in the metaphorical prison with the same rate as the progress bar (~18% at this point). Anyway, it’s good to be in this forum to recalibrate when I’m being too anarchic or to toughen up when I’m being taken advantage of.

[7Wannabe5]

I've given some thought to this myself, because I believe that if I could advise young me, I still would advise entrepreneurialship over conventional career to FIRE path. I think this is because "freedom" holds different meaning depending on personality type. There is a reason why ENTPs are by far the most likely type to be self-employed. Running my own business, for me, didn't feel any more confining than being in a good relationship, but being employed full-time by other always feels like being in a bad relationship for me. There are also, obviously, others for whom a secure, clearly structured, full-time job with benefits and golden-handcuffs is exactly the sort of good relationship they desire. Otherwise, you would never hear humans glowingly describing business owners as "job makers."

Anyways, if you are an INTJ, the problem is likely related to your level of mastery achieved relative to those around you. You might actually be happier working your way up another full-time employed by other long mastery curve as you approach FIRE. The trick would be not dropping your earning rate or taking on re-training expense. IOW, being stuck in a room with stupid is much more painful for an INTJ than it is for many other types, just like being stuck in any sort of routine imposed by other is more hugely painful for an ENTP, and this factors into your meaning attached to the term "freedom." Something like that...

[okumurahata]

[…] but being employed full-time by other always feels like being in a bad relationship for me.

I feel the same. It’s a terrible relationship.

I enjoy reading unconventional stories like yours, about making a living without being part of the corporate hell. It makes me feel that there are always ways out.

I’m resigned to enduring misery for 8 years as the default path, but I’ll always be open to opportunities that may arise in the coming years. Let’s see…

[SouthernAlchemy]

To bring it back to 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'...

This is like the part when McMurphy (aka the fake oku) has gotten the lobotomy (aka become a legitimate member of the nuthouse team) and Chief Broom (aka the real oku) has to decide if he is going to put McMurphy out of his misery with a pillow over the face and then sneak out the window to freedom or if he is just going to go back to sweeping floors like nothing happened. Whatcha gonna do Chief?

I jumped around a lot in my 'career' looking for more money and/or a better environment. I definitely snuck out the window whenever things sucked and I thought there was a slim chance they would be better somewhere else, but often times it did get worse. So yeah, sticking it out but remaining open seems to me like a reasonable course of action.

[okumurahata]

Chief Bromden is quiet and observant, but also rebellious deep down in his heart. If I were to wager, there’s no guarantee that my free spirit would follow the plan, and I might find myself in a suboptimal situation due to a bad decision at the worst moment. I’ll give it a try, but I know that sticking to an 8-year plan without attempting to break free from the prison is challenging.

[Henry]

I’ll give it a try, but I know that sticking to an 8-year plan without attempting to break free from the prison is challenging.

Chief was a chronic. Oku is an acute. Oku can walk out the door anytime he wants. Oku does not need to pull out a shower fixture and throw it through a window and run into the cover of night.

[okumurahata]

Yesterday, I surpassed the net worth of one Tesla Model 3 in investments. For the average person on this forum, it’s peanuts, but that’s 40k EUR that Elon Musk hasn’t managed to steal from my pocket yet.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw the Xiaomi car at the Mobile World Congress (MWC). Electric cars are cool if you momentarily forget about the environmental implications, batteries, and so on. From a technical perspective, they are simply impressive. MWC is peculiar; you see Asian men smoking at the entrance, preparing for a gang bang near the Xiaomi car, and going for escorts at the end of the event.

When I was a student, they offered us the chance to be private drivers for these businessmen for a week. I didn’t take the opportunity, but I had a friend who told me that the Asian guy he was driving for saw a Spanish woman crossing the street and asked him if he could find out how much for an hour of divertimento. “Well, things don’t work like that here,” said my friend. In a week, between tips and regular salary, a driver could earn over 1k EUR just to drive. I should have taken the opportunity, put all that money into BTC, and now I’d be relaxing rather than writing prose in this forum, trying to absorb some knowledge from the posters here.

At MWC, I saw a robot called Ameka, powered with AI, and it has the most realistic group of chips I have ever seen. People were asking things like: what’s your name, what kind of music do you like, do you speak Spanish? I was thinking of more perverse questions like could you replace myself and sit on a chair for 8 straight hours, taking calls from Microsoft Teams, answering stupid emails from bosses, and being nice no matter what, without losing your temper. Well, for obvious reasons I couldn’t ask these straight questions with my manager close to me, but I can’t wait for some AI to replace @oku. Let me do the chores at home for you, Miss Ameka; do your job, I’m available when you require it.

Moving on, this week my girlfriend and I celebrate 8 years together. I never thought @oku could have a long relationship, but here we are. There is nothing more temporary than something that is supposed to be permanent, and the opposite holds also true. To celebrate, we’ll do a one-day trip this weekend to the mountains spending as little as possible.

[okumurahata]

April 2024 update:

Code: Select all

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Assets
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stocks: 41.314,29 EUR
Cash: 18.894,09 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 60.208,38 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Liabilities
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debt: 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly income
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Job: 2.400 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 2.400 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly expenses
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rent: 500 EUR
Electricity: ~40 EUR
Water: ~20 EUR
Internet: 40 EUR
Food: ~400 EUR
Gym: ~50 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 1.050 EUR
+----------------------------------+

Progress until retirement (considering 25x yearly expenses):

Code: Select all

⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 19,11%

Unusual salary for this month; markets are bullish. Have a great Easter holiday. Walked an average of ~20k steps a day. Yesterday, we had BBQ to celebrate my girlfriend’s 30th birthday. Happy month.

[okumurahata]

Guys. My contract will expire in less than 2 months. Today, they said that they will probably extend it until the end of the year. Afterwards, they want to open a permanent position in the company. They haven’t mentioned anything about salary, so a raise is not guaranteed.

As I mentioned in previous comments, I don’t feel part of the team, and I’m kind of an outcast most of the time. I’m not respected by my peers and sometimes feel belittled.

That’s why I think I won’t renew the contract, even if they offered something appealing. The only problem is that I don’t have anything lined up, which is perhaps the economically stupidest decision. But… I need a change. My tenure in this contract will be 2 years and 4 months. Not bad considering that the initial plan was to be here for 9 months.

I have a buffer, and I will receive unemployment benefits for almost a year. Perhaps I will work intermittently at the library as well. I feel that I need to regain part of my sanity. I’ve been neglecting myself, unpublished books, not writing as often as I wish, and doing fewer things in general for fear that peers or managers will find out what I was doing.

I have been becoming increasingly quieter at my job. In the end, at meetings, I don’t say a word because I feel that my contributions are not valued. @oku needs to close a chapter… The next chapter can be better or worse, but it will be new.